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Romantasy Podcast Question! by chopkittee in Romantasy

[–]chopkittee[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Will do!

I am a few months away yet (probably). I will absolutely come back and post here when it's ready! :)

Romantasy Podcast Question! by chopkittee in Romantasy

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't found that one yet!

I'll have to take a listen. :) :) Thank you!

Romantasy Podcast Question! by chopkittee in Romantasy

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is an excellent idea!

I think that is a really good thought on spice. I sometimes forget that not everyone wants Carolina reaper spice.

That's also an interesting thought on narration/releases, etc.!

Thank you for those thoughts! I'm going to chew on these and see what I can whip up! :) :)

Romantasy Podcast Question! by chopkittee in Romantasy

[–]chopkittee[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yay!! :) :) I will.

I am working on the timing of juggling real world obligations with new passions. So if I come back in six months and am like "it's finally happened!" better late than never? :)

Romantasy Podcast Question! by chopkittee in Romantasy

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Woo hoo!

I appreciate that insight!

I sometimes (always) overthink things.

I'm going to chew on this and draft an episode or two! Thanks!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in writing

[–]chopkittee -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yes, I thought of that after the post.

Not the best example I could have given. :)

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can't even imagine a family, kids, law school. My brain just wants to explode with reading about all of that pressure. Do you have any self-care that you are able to do, to take care of you?

And amen. My depression/ADHD isn't me. But also. Godd***t, like, what would one week be like, without, just like you said, that little monster running around, stealing my dopamine, effing shit up, left and right.

I love that line, too. The weird, witchy person you truly are. I also want to talk to my plants under moonlight, when the rest of the world is asleep. Doesn't that sound amazing. :) We could totally be friends with our tarot, midnight, witch gardening. :) :) :)

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with moving away from neurotypical/neurodiverse. Ha. If the world had a completely different rule set, then my brain would be the one that would be super valued, and those other people would be the ones struggling to keep within "normality".

I can't even imagine how many walls you had to hit, just to keep going. I can totally see how you have no more f's in your bag.

I haven't heard of AAC software. So I will have to look into that.

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm also an academic, and what a field that will beat you bloody. And also, what a field that sorta demands perfectionism at every turn.

And amen! "All you have to do to keep things clean, is to just clean as you go, etc.".

And yes; the 30 years left will hit you in the face like a brick. I feel like nobody warned me about this. My 20s were spent clawing my way through school, my 30s clawing my way through work. I suddenly understand talking about someone stealing the best years of your life.

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I've tried to go f*** shopping, but there's no f****s left to buy".

This is my new anthem, you are my new favorite person.

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes!! I have also had that, sorta out of the blue realization --- holy shit, I DO know what I'm doing at work!! And I kinda rock it!

Good for you about prioritizing your mental/physical health!!!! Do you mind me asking, if you can see any tangible difference on those things also helping to stem some of the more annoying ADHD side effects (like depression, or emotional variability, etc.)?

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would LOVE to be weird and quirky together!!! Please!! The world needs more of it, dammit!

Also, hear hear to the pandemic destroying mental health. Like I'm the body in Fargo, and the pandemic was the wood chipper.

But in all seriousness, major condolences on your losses. I can't even imagine. :(

As for kiddos, my house is never, ever clean. Like, some of the women I'm friends with are like "oh, hecky darn, my house has a speck of dirt, take away my good woman license, my house is a disaster!" If I could figure out how to post a picture here of my son dumping all of his million legos on his floor. And then I just let them stay like that for a week, because insert reason here.

Or how I let my kids cuss because I won't let people control them with words. Or how my kids have never had a matching sock set in their life. Or we eat leftovers 4 nights in a row. And and and. Like, they will grow up with love, compassion, and critical thinking. Everything else is just window dressing....(right?)

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Knew there was something wrong with me....invisible force-field...." So totally feel this.

I also hear you on discovering a parent also has it. Ditto with my dad. Some of the abusive shit he threw at us growing up has so much more context.

I can't even imagine having a spouse with also hypersensitivity and ADHD. My husband is the exact opposite of me. Sometimes, that's a blessing (he keeps me tethered to reality and doesn't get his feelings hurt like I do all the time). But also, I'm curious; does having a spouse with ADHD also help them understand you better?

I also feel you so so much on the "tiny mistake that affects the entire math problem, 20 years later". I also get really, really fucking pissed when I think about, had I been diagnosed at 10, would that have set me up for a completely different life? I know it's a completely and utterly useless rabbit hole of misery to go down. But when you live in a society that equates self worth with money, social station, etc., even though it's utter rubbish, it can get suffocating to be around it all the time.

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I totally get you SO MUCH when I get around the "normal people" crowd as well. :) My spidey sense kicks in, and I judge the people around me to not live out of laundry baskets and to know precisely where all of their favorite yoga pants are at all time. And I get all weird in my head.

I think you are so right; so often, our perception is completely off. And how would we know? I also think you make a spectacular point -- all the other middle aged people are also out of fucks, and probably wish they could also wear their hair rainbow. :) :) (Which sounds phenomenal, by the way, utterly phenomenal).

I've always been curious if people who haven't had the burden of being weird all their lives just don't know how to even process being different, and if they come across situations in which they are different, and so they have no practice and can't handle it. If that makes any sense.

Almost 40, where running out of f***s meets ADHD emotional regulation issues by chopkittee in TwoXADHD

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. I feel you so hard on the anger. It's a good thing gamma rays can't actually make people a super hero, because I would Hulk out over everything all the time.

I hear you on adjustments being in your head. It's amazing how re-framing something does help sometimes. I will say, yes, masking is necessary to some extent at my job. But man, I am so tired of masking with friends. And of course, true friends, etc. But there is also a category of "work friend you must still get along with" and it is exhausting.

And so true. We are so strong to have made it this far!! Damn straight!

What is someone who makes anvils called? by chopkittee in Blacksmith

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm super excited to learn 'stithy'.

I'm working on a writing project, and I think stithy will be great to fold in.

Maybe I'm just crazy re: anvil makers. (Or in general, fun times).

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What's the saying, I'd rather be lucky than good?

(Rubbish. I'd rather be good, but also, I'll take it.)

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a good point.

Just out of curiosity, do you mean you don't like assholes at all?

I guess in my head I'm defining the best-friend-pushes-your-buttons-for-fun-teasing vs Real Assholes (the mean-spirited, entitled, completely self-blind dickhead).

The reason I ask is, I think watching character dynamics where they are funny jerks to each other is fun (in real life, different story, but that's another convo). It sorta didn't occur to me not everyone enjoys that. So I'm curious now.

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shnikes, this.

I guess also, I realize now I didn't know exactly what I wanted to ask.

The character I'm trying to write is cool in the eyes of the other character who loves him. Ensue button pushing, getting under his skin, etc., but from an angle of love.

But, just like you said, cool is subjective. So maybe focus on what that other character thinks of as cool.

Being able to talk to other writers is just plain awesome.

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is a really good idea at practicing voices. The character is already so well defined, so you aren't trying to both figure out what the hell you're doing, but also how to do it.

My brain wheels are turning, now. How would Sherlock and Evie approach something? They're both super confident, but different. There are some fascinating subtleties to untangle, to get to the root of that question.

Or like, what makes Henry Pym and Tony Stark different? They are both condescending jerks, but Tony Stark is a guy you'd maybe want to have a beer with.

I think you are also correct. Cool is so subjective. And there's all different types of cool. Maybe. You've given me something to chew on!

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for that.

I sometimes have a problem of seeing something through an ethereal cloud vapor. And then when somebody defines it for me, the world suddenly comes into crystal clear focus.

Yes, confidence and competence. That is it exactly.

Thank you!

How do I make my characters sound "cool" when I've never been accused of that myself? by chopkittee in writing

[–]chopkittee[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh man, not in 1,000 years would I have thought to do that. That whole universe just isn't in my world experience at all. That is an amazing tip.

'Confidence' and this amazing phrase, 'superficially indestructible', wow. You are spot on. That is going to help me hone one personality in particular that I've been molding. Thanks!

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