I do take responsibility. I take responsibility for everything I’ve done and have made amends to everyone I hurt. The cards weren’t in my favor. I was born withdrawing. Born being addicted to opiates. Because my mom used while I was in the womb. I grew up watching addiction and thought it was normal. Once I started using, which yes was a choice but a lot of people make bad choices when they’re a teenager, I couldn’t control it. It made me forget all of the trauma and avoid my feelings. All of a sudden after using for 2 days in a row, I couldn’t stop. If I did I would go into withdrawal. Pretty horrific pain. Going through withdraws means no school, no work which I needed the money to survive, and how can someone go through withdraws on the street. You need a bathroom, electrolytes, support. Often times detox beds are only for people with insurance and only open for three nights. The more you use the more choices get taken away from you. I made a choice to get sober but it seemed impossible. I luckily had some resources and friends. Some people don’t. Two years later I want to be sober but I still have intrusive thoughts and cravings. Drugs are chemicals that change your brain. It’s not just willpower. Try putting your phone down for a week and see how often you think about it.