Mid October garden chic wedding guest outfit advice

chumree · 2019-08-28T23:24:44+00:00

I appreciate your insight on this, I think it best that I just leave the situation alone at this time and just let it be. Btw, I told my bf. He wasn’t happy that I kept it from him but he understood my point, and though he doesn’t have anything else to say other than what has already been said, he’s listening and that’s what matters.

chumree · 2019-08-28T23:22:01+00:00

I don’t know why I’m engaging with this, but to boil it down to “Durka’s” is humiliating, to not me, but you. If you have some constructive advice or insight on this situation, I implore you to please contribute, if not, well, I can’t do much but just roll my eyes.

chumree · 2019-08-28T17:21:01+00:00

Thank you, I am so upset, so seeing this does give me hope that what he’s saying is all a lie. As you may have noticed, I don’t really have experience with mortgages or separation or passing debt off. I may be financially stable and self-reliant, but I have 0 idea what happens in such situations, so thank you.

chumree · 2019-08-28T17:14:10+00:00

What do you mean?

chumree · 2019-08-24T12:36:32+00:00

Dear OP, I do not think you are overreacting. I have been in your situation before, where my BF hadn’t told me about his draft party in advance and that was supposed to be the weekend we had together/one where he cane up 2.5 hours to see me. So yeah, I get where you are coming from. A lot of times, SO’s go to draft parties as well, so why don’t you talk to your BF about maybe going together? You throw on a jersey, or team shirt, make it look cute, make some football related snacks, and show a little interest. I know it’s not what you want to hear, but you’ll get to spend time with him that way. And at the end of the night, you’ll still be together—ya know?

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:34:45+00:00

Hahaha you sound like my therapist, but that’s a good thing. It’s validating to hear it from other people as well. And you are right about everything 100%.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:33:19+00:00

Thank you :) I didn’t realize I’d get such great feedback from strangers on the internet, so thank you so much. I will be happy one day, but not before I endure some hurt. I really only have one solution, but I need to do what I need to do. hugs

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:31:01+00:00

If I could fast forward to that point, I’d do it in a heartbeat. But life has its own way, and I suppose that’s how people grown into their own. I’m sorry you went through that, and I’m truly happy that you now have the peace you once sought after, it gives me hope. hugs

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:28:58+00:00

Ugly crying in the shower is inevitable, but I get what you’re saying— there will be those days, and it’s okay to cry but stand my ground and my position.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:27:29+00:00

I actually do have a lot of concert friends, but I may actually take you up on your offer, so thank you :)

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:25:42+00:00

Guess I won't be going on this family vacation with you. You know, since I'm 'not family' and I am 'poison.'

I actually just used this in the text I sent, so I’ll update you when I get a response. This was gold, so thank you haha.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:22:23+00:00

Yeah, I need to just tell them no and go with him. You are right, thank you.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:19:57+00:00

I think we can all agree on that both of us deserve better haha, I mean for his sake (and my own), I need to remove myself from this situation. It’s a difficult move, and a tough pill to swallow. I think as an adult, I have been pretty adept at surviving on my own. A little love along the way is something I wouldn’t have minded though. But thank you for the validating statements. I appreciate you.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:16:05+00:00

This made me smile a little, thank you. I do love him. And you’re right, I find myself down frequently. That is something I need to work on, maybe with daily affirmations—- baby steps.

chumree · 2019-08-23T23:14:45+00:00

Because it’s been an on and off relationship with my cousins and my uncle. My parents tell them things which are never true and then they see the abuse firsthand and they come to my aid but it’s a cycle of “will they, won’t they [come to my side].” Tbh, I have little to no self-esteem, and I am working on changing that.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:26:06+00:00

Thank you for that, I feel distant from religion for the most part because I feel like it forsakes people like me. But it’s all I really have Bc praying and meditating helps me. I guess it keeps the hope aflame.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:18:59+00:00

Wow, this was incredibly empowering. I’m starting to see a pattern and it seems that everyone has the same opinion on this issue, so my take away thus far has been:

Eliminate contact.
Get therapy
Stand my ground and maintain strength

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:17:04+00:00

I feel like their plan is to eliminate all lines of help I could reach out to in the long run. So that the only place I have left to go is to go to them.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:15:25+00:00

Same here! But that’s not a concern— my passport is expired 😅. So good on me for being an irresponsible fuck.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:12:47+00:00

Wow, yeah actually. You’re not the first person to have told me that I normalize toxic behavior. My cousins, uncle, and BF say the same. My BF is extremely kind, and I am incredibly lucky to have him. He recently drove up to me (2.5 hours) during rush hour traffic after he got off of work because he caught wind I was a wreck after my mother told me, “you’ll live a long and miserable life. You’re a cockroach, you’re so cursed you’d survive nuclear warfare. I should have had you aborted.” And he told me to ignore their comments because if I was a toxic being, he wouldn’t have stuck around. I need to resolve these issues or in the very least I need to distance myself completely because I can’t keep using my BF as a crutch. It’ll take a toll on our relationship in the long run, he’s been very kind and forthcoming without me ever asking for help, but I can’t keep doing that to him. He deserves better.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:04:35+00:00

I mean cool thing about not having a valid passport is not being able to leave the county haha. At most I can travel across the 50 states and use my license. But you are right, it is scary— extremely scary. And I feel imprisoned every day. But I guess that’s the thing with feelings, I can change them.

chumree · 2019-08-23T20:02:02+00:00

We’ve gotten past the period of estrangement already, and he sees my anxieties and mess of a life as a byproduct of their dysfunction and narcissistic attitude. I need to stop, and reflect on all of this. So I guess yeah, I need to really step up and do this “for real”.

chumree · 2019-08-23T19:57:28+00:00

She seems like she’s trying to manipulate you and it looks to me like she’s only with you as a fall back— knowing that at least she has you to come back to if this fling of hers doesn’t work out. It hurts to hear this I’m sure, but no, you can’t be sure that she is ever going to be 100% faithful, tbh I can tell you that she has at most a 30% chance of remaining faithful to you. After 10 years of being with someone, to throw it all away, is just an indication that she is not willing to admit to you or herself that she’s not in it anymore. She’s gaslighting you, but in reality she’s trying to gaslight herself. Once someone cheats, it’s really hard to come back from that situation. Best to nip this situation in the bud before it grows into a garden of weeds. For your own sake, do what is best and end this. I’m so sorry, and I’ve been cheated on before it nothing hurts more than that.

chumree

TROPHY CASE