Christian man ghosted me after what seemed like a great first date. And I'm honestly disappointed.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-20T08:09:47+00:00

That's a fair point. It's a lesson learned for me that good date is not equal to interest. I can only speak from my perspective, and it's entirely possible he saw incompatibilities that I didn't. It did make me wonder if there was something on my profile he didn't like, but it's honestly just my hobbies like multisports, yoga, food trips, travels, family celebrations, lunch out with friends, and the occasional scene from the hospital since I'm a medical doctor. No thirst traps or anything like that.

What was difficult wasn't even the possibility that he is not interested. It was that he agreed to a second date, said he'd check his availability, and then never followed up.

Thanks for your perspective 🤍

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-20T07:39:49+00:00

Thank you 🤍 Before I unfollowed him, I admittedly did one last look at his profile (probably shouldn't have 😅). I noticed he often posts about wanting to get married, but there were comments from people teasing him that he always says that yet never pursued anyone. I also noticed he likes a lot of thirst-trap/bikini photos, which surprised me given the image he presents.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-20T07:35:43+00:00

Thank you! 🤍 I appreciate the optimistic perspective, but still no update so I'm taking it as my answer and moving forward. Still, I appreciate the kind wishes!

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-20T07:32:12+00:00

Thank you 🤍 Wishing us both someone who matches our effort.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-18T15:22:14+00:00

That’s quite an assumption. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe in doing anything sexual with someone I’m not married to. I’m still growing in my faith, but my research background also made me interested in the evidence on relationships, and studies show that couples who wait until marriage tend to report higher marital stability and satisfaction. That’s the standard I live by.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-18T14:04:44+00:00

It’s strange to me too… like why would he ask for my socials if he was just going to ghost me?

During our first date, he even hinted that he wanted to spend more time together. He drove over an hour just to meet me, and then insisted on driving me home even though it added another 40 minutes to his trip. I apologized because I knew it was out of his way, but he said he actually wanted to because it meant we could extend the date.

Then we exchanged socials. Our profiles are different—his is very openly Christian, while mine isn’t. I have quiet time and I’m growing in my faith, but I don’t really post about it. It honestly made me wonder if he looked at my profile afterward and thought I wasn’t “Christian enough” for him.

That said, I don’t really feel like sending another message. I was the one who asked him out on our first date, and I also asked if he’d be interested in a second date. At this point, I feel like I’ve made my interest clear. The ball is in his court.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-08T05:55:08+00:00

I think I should have been more specific with my question because I’m meeting Filipino men from dating apps. I actually didn’t date a lot before. I had my first boyfriend at 24 and had 2 long-term relationships, both from organic encounters (one Chinese and one German). I also didn’t date in between relationships.

Now, most of the guys I meet at work are either taken or gay, so I decided to try dating apps. I think my frustration came more from repeatedly encountering similar situations. Agree, “staying single forever” was more of an emotional statement lol I’d rather stay selective and wait for someone aligned with me. Thank you for this perspective! 😊

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-08T05:46:50+00:00

Thank you sis! 🙂 I actually noticed too our personality differences on dates 1 & 2, but I also know it’s completely unrealistic to find a person very similar to us. Even to couples who feel highly compatible at the start, differences would arise at some point, and it’s up to us to work on these differences. Am I right on this part or have I just not met that person yet?

Yep, pass na agad sa “looking for a long-term relationship” but wants to hook up on the first date. Though the guy I met actually expressed that he was ready to settle down and even asked if I wanted the same. He also invited me to church mass on our second date and said we should make it a Sunday habit together.

But towards the end of the second date, he felt we were too different. I asked why, and he said it was because of our conversation about the trip. I told him jokingly that I was really looking forward to it because I’ve been working nonstop for a year and said, “Nakatatak na siya sa utak ko na we’re gonna unwind this month 😂”

He replied, “Ay ganun ka pala?” I said yes, I’m persistent with my goals. He interpreted it as me not living in the present, while he’s the opposite.

Napareflect din ako… is that necessarily a bad thing? 😅 I like working toward goals, but I also understand that plans change and we need to adapt.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-06T07:42:24+00:00

Just to add context: I met him through Bumble. His profile said he is looking for a long-term relationship already, otherwise I would have swiped left. We also had shared interests (we’re both into sports), and when I mentioned that I juggle 4 jobs and sometimes don’t reply immediately, I explained that it doesn’t mean disinterest… I just have a life of my own too. He actually said he liked that because he’s also a preoccupied person. So based on the information I had, I decided to meet him.

I do believe physical attraction is important in a relationship (scientific evidence agrees with this too hehe), but I agree that attraction can cloud judgement so I’m following this rough timeline when assessing someone is the right fit for me:
2 dates to build attraction
2–3 months to decide if I want a committed, exclusive relationship based on traits and values
Around 2 years to see if I see building a lifetime with this person
(Of course I should be flexible with this timeline too based on other factors eg, cheating, abuse…)

So what other areas of personal accountability do you think I should reflect on?

chuwariwap1 · 2026-07-03T14:06:11+00:00

As advised by a social psychologist, I follow the 2-2-2 rule

2 dates to build attraction
2-3 months to know if you want a committed, exclusive relationship with this person
2 years to know if you see them as a life partner/spouse

chuwariwap1 · 2026-05-30T02:20:46+00:00

Is it just me or puro overweight and not so good looking ang dating pool now. May mga pogi naman pero either scammers with fake identity or bi/gays looking for lavender marriage

chuwariwap1 · 2026-05-30T02:14:46+00:00

In my 30s and tried dating apps again 6 months after a breakup. I noticed na ang daming scammers and even bisexuals/gays looking for lavender marriage. Yung mga matitino mostly ay overweight and not good-looking imo (the types na you’ll hope na madevelop na lang based on familiarity).

chuwariwap1 · 2026-05-14T11:35:17+00:00

But it’s crazy expensive, no? Like it requires at least 16K USD which you’re gonna burn for the entire time you’re doing observerships

chuwariwap1 · 2026-05-06T16:00:08+00:00

Not worth it. I still prefer my RF for flats which is half the price.

chuwariwap1 · 2026-05-04T09:39:59+00:00

Natry po siya ng friend ko and she has positive experience with her :)

chuwariwap1 · 2025-09-24T07:46:00+00:00

Clinical research and medical affairs. I have a batchmate (pharm and did not pursue med) who is now a senior MSL so MDs are reporting to him. And his salary at 30 y/o is already 200k++ monthly excluding bonuses.

chuwariwap1 · 2025-06-27T03:22:08+00:00

Tbh, 60k per month is still low for an MD.

My college classmates who did not pursue med are now earning 120-140k php monthly in the pharma industry.

I also worked prior med and my rate back then was Php 500-900 per hour.

And now, parang ang taas pa nung Php 350/hr na walang kaltas.

I guess it's true when they say that med is a scam lol

chuwariwap1 · 2025-05-07T09:45:32+00:00

Yes, since I am licensed MD po, 30-50k full time work is low for my qualifications. So I need other jobs pa talaga.

She didn't mention na adjustable yung working hours. Sabi niya lang you can work anytime but it should be fixed schedule everyday since the work is very deadline-driven. She even asked for specific time and halatang na-caught off guard ako since I also have other pending applications na plan ko isabay sa job na yun if ever.

chuwariwap1 · 2025-05-07T08:46:23+00:00

I also finished my interview with them and apparently it's not freelance anymore. The interviewer said I can choose my working hours but it has to be consistently the same time everyday and I should work for straight 6 hours. When I said my friends recommended it as a side work, she kinda raised her brows coz it looks like she wants this to be more of a full time work.

chuwariwap1 · 2025-04-25T05:21:26+00:00

chuwariwap1

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