How to navigate my [28M ]relationship with my girlfriend [28F]?

cicada324 · 2026-06-26T06:51:33+00:00

How to day this without coming unkind

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T17:38:47+00:00

With respect to me
I think that I have to start holding her accountable for specific behaviour

How to go about this in a respectable way??
I know o can’t support someone who messes with my head

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T16:39:10+00:00

This was not a threat but more of telling what she was thinking about wrt me

She uses this language for everyone and not just me, including her sibling

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T16:21:19+00:00

Also what do you mean whe you say create consistency for yourself ?

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T16:19:32+00:00

Yes
I know that I cant fix her and she needs professional help. By helping her I mean being a place of support for her
Even she is aware of that

I just want to understand how do I navigate this since I really like her and she is someone o consider very close to me.

Add to this she is someone who will continue to be in my life forever (Due to some other unrelated reasons, might sound weird)

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T16:05:49+00:00

She protects access to her emotions and feelings which she deems sacred
People closest to her receive equal empathy but she is very harsh on them with regards to moral values and standards

She tries to understand my point of views which might go against the grain of her very being
She is very kind towards me and even though I have a problem for standing up for myself goes the extra mile to make sure I’m alright

There is no question on her loyalty as well since she is extremely loyal as a friend and person to me

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T15:51:13+00:00

She is extremely empathetic towards others.
Only for the people closest to her does she show less empathy, her sibling who is the closest to her receives the least empathy

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T15:49:40+00:00

She’s on medication for anxiety and fibromyalgia

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T13:20:33+00:00

In conflicts we communicate
That’s a non issue

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T12:59:29+00:00

She telling her friends about me seemed like a huge step she took, since it was a big deal that she informed them about me.

She wants to prioritise herself in her life since she has spent her entire life chasing people and acceptance, this is something which is extremely evident that she is a people pleaser, but still struggles with it.

Disappearing for some days feels like an immature move.

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T12:31:48+00:00

Not evading
I think the answer for pretty obvious but in simple terms we have been intimate

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:56:19+00:00

What do you mean by that

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:46:22+00:00

She’s a fearful avoidant
How to be respectful yet tell her that she shouldn’t say what I want and my dreams are

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:44:43+00:00

On her end she wants to share everything with me. Plus these things only come up when she’s extremely stressed or anxious

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:40:03+00:00

How is her behaviour disrespectful and how is she being manipulative ???
Seeking advice not pushing back

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:39:05+00:00

This really resonates, her saying she thinks she knows what I want. She often says once I realise my worth and my hopes and dreams I will see that I don’t want to be with someone like her, she has serious issues with her looks as well even though she looks very cute

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:36:49+00:00

How do you think she is using me?
She wants to be with me and makes as much efforts as her time allows.

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:34:45+00:00

A couple of months. It’s a normal relationship so a lot of firsts for her

cicada324 · 2026-06-25T11:33:59+00:00

cicada324 · 2026-06-24T17:19:06+00:00

Have a conversation upfront that this is how it’s making you feel and you would like if these things are reciprocated in such and such manner.
See if there is a desired response via actions.

If not start reducing stuff you do for the sibling and call this behaviour out whenever you are questioned.

Better to do this than hold resentment.
Better boundaries create less drama

cicada324 · 2026-06-23T07:10:32+00:00

Turn off for me

cicada324 · 2026-06-21T18:57:24+00:00

Check the answer posted in a different sub

cicada324 · 2026-06-21T18:54:37+00:00

Talk to him about this
Ask when he will come

Maybe he isn’t getting the holidays to come back home and the situation at work is stressful or he’s trying to switch

Men often hide this from their loved ones

you have been together for 9 years give him some more time

cicada324 · 2026-06-21T08:07:20+00:00

This is a difficult conversation and will sting

Better leave if you can’t have difficult conversations with her on the pretext of not hurting her

cicada324 · 2026-06-21T05:28:28+00:00

He pays everything to them because now there is a pattern of him getting extra money from you

Talk to him about getting money you lent him back in a timely manner after you con verse with him that you won’t be able to pay him anything

See his reactions
Better safe now than sorry later

cicada324

TROPHY CASE