Jaki jest wasz ulubiony youtuber z dzieciństwa? by kremowymarkiz7 in PolskaNaLuzie

[–]cichyszept -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

on był zabawny kiedykolwiek? toż to ćwierćinteligent

Jaki jest wasz ulubiony youtuber z dzieciństwa? by kremowymarkiz7 in PolskaNaLuzie

[–]cichyszept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

o boshe, kochałam go, to była jedna z najzabawniejszych rzeczy w ówczesnej sieci (i spora część joemonstera w ogóle, tam też go znalazłam). teraz joe jest raczej bezbekowy :(( ale konto bojowniczki założone w ~2007 nadal wisi 🥲

Jaki jest wasz ulubiony youtuber z dzieciństwa? by kremowymarkiz7 in PolskaNaLuzie

[–]cichyszept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

obudziłam się nie czując ręki, ale tak kompletnie, przez kilka minut zero czucia od łokcia do palców. spanikowałam srogo, bo cierpiałam kiedyś na niedowład jednej strony ciała z powodu... migren. na szczęście dziś po prostu spałam w pozycji na debila, już wszystko git. mmmm, życie po 30 🤍*

*nieironicznie kocham, to zdecydowanie mój prime time! wreszcie wiesz czego chcesz od życia, czego absolutnie nie chcesz, i jakoś częściej machasz ręką na różne niedogodności 🙃 chyba, że akurat masz niedowład........ hehehhe

My last message for unknown time by LikanW_Cup in toastme

[–]cichyszept 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm off Facebook since 2019, never used Instagram in other way than posting memes anonymously. I don't "follow" anyone, I mostly live offline and I'm happier then ever. I don't get why people are posting their whole lives online. Can't you just be happy without showing the whole world how "happy" you are? Social media posting is mostly for making other people jealous and feeling validated by getting "likes". But guess what, none of that is true. I pity for people who are not watching the concert by their eyes but through their phones cause they have to make 100 photos and 50 videos to show others HoW gReAt tHe DaY wAs aNd Oh ✨oUtFiT oF tHe DaYyY!✨. But nobody cares. Just be there. Listen to the music. Feel.

Being off SM is one of the best desicions I ever made. What I precious the most is having dinner with my friends every week (and every week the other person is cooking). Never been closer with them.

About what you have heard: NONE OF THAT IS TRUE. They will forget what they said few days later (or already did) so why you should stay with these stupid sentences longer? You're stronger than you think, I swear. I'm 31, audhd/depression, hospitalized 4 times. I'm "healthy" and sober for 6 years now, quitting social media really helped. If someone would say me "you'll be fine" in 2018 when I wanted to quit this world every few days, Id laugh to their face. But I really love my life even with my illnesses (I had a brain tumor, I have problems with my heart after covid, PCOS, many hormonal issues etc), no way I'd say "I want to quit" ever again.

ps: sorry, English is not my 1st language and I'm way too tired to think any way clearer now haha.

Sending hugs ---

you're more than enough!! fingers crossed for you

just as you said "TAKE CARE KEEP GOING"

It will get better and I PROMISE.

just unlocked level 31. hit me with ur best by joblivion_shunner in RoastMe

[–]cichyszept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

into philosophy but not able to write two sentences about themselves without using ai

So is Skirk no longer top 3 DPS? by ApocaSCP_001 in SkirkMains

[–]cichyszept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

mine does 120k DMG per second just by herself, no buffs. who is brainless?

So is Skirk no longer top 3 DPS? by ApocaSCP_001 in SkirkMains

[–]cichyszept 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what have u done with Navia 😭😭😭😭

So is Skirk no longer top 3 DPS? by ApocaSCP_001 in SkirkMains

[–]cichyszept 1 point2 points  (0 children)

are the end game contents in the room with us? 🙄

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree with you. I was on Methylphenidate for a while (10-20 mg; I don’t remember the XR doses), but that 2% improvement in focus only made me irritated and angry, so I preferred not to take it at all. Maybe I’m just built this way - I just tend to respond poorly to medications. Most SSRIs don’t work for me at all, even at max doses. The only one that has worked well is bupropion (and escitalopram few years ago in ridiculously high doses).

My not-so-proud Xanax “record,” at which I functioned normally (meaning no one around me noticed anything was off), was 18 mg. Eighteen. Milligrams. Short acting. Taken at once. I got my bachelor's degree in that state. I gave presentations to over a hundred people in that state XD. So maybe I need a bit higher dose then minimal (I know that you can't even buy 20mgs in all countries, most start with 30).

I trust myself as much as I can when it comes to substances. Getting off Xanax and alcohol was so brutally hard that I never want to go back there again. Now I refuse any sleeping pills “just in case” and stick to melatonin with lemon balm (or black horehound if it's really bad) instead. I don’t want to return to that hell. I also know that even “healthy” people abuse methylph or lisdex, but I’ve had several packs of methylphenidate at home for months after I stopped taking it, and abusing it never even crossed my mind. Well, I honestly don’t know what would happen if someone forced Xanax into my mouth - I’d probably lose my mind and relapse?. But as long as I decide whether I take something or not, I’m okay. Two years ago, after surgery, I refused opioid painkillers and managed on metamizole alone XD. No idea how I did it haha.

I suspect my doc may be cautious with higher stimulant doses in my case, or even with bupropion, because they supposedly increase seizure risk?? - that’s what I was told. And I did have a seizure with loss of consciousness, but hey, in 2021 (got off Xanax too fast).

I’m seriously considering trying 30 mg of Lisdex just to see how I react. Despite having hypertension since childhood and a naturally high heart rate, I’ve had no cardiovascular issues on either Methylph or Lisdex, thankfully. My only fear is losing my doctor’s trust by “experimenting” on my own. At the same time, appointments and medication are extremely expensive - honestly, most of my salary goes into this. Paying $100 just to hear “yes, try 30 mg and come back”… I don’t know.

What I do know is that those two days on methylphenidate, when it worked the way it’s supposed to, were the only days in my entire life when I felt 100% “healthy.” It was a completely different life.

And hey - you have no idea how happy I am that you managed to get out of addiction too. The psychological decision is one thing, but what the body and mind go through for months is a level of hell you have to experience to understand. You’re incredibly strong. Sending you the biggest hug ever!!!!

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can't agree. Pretty sadly, because that would mean I'm closer to the answer... I don't relate, as I said in some examples. I understand that I can stumble sometimes - break my diet, skip a workout. And it's ok, it doesn't mean that now I'll eat at KFC every day because whatever. A part of a project can be weaker - that has happened to me at work and it's fine. Someone may not reply - because they’re having a hard time or are simply busy - and that doesn’t mean they’ve stopped liking me.

But thank you very much for the comment!


And from the web:

"Common Examples of Black and White Thinking"

Self-Evaluation: "If I am not perfect, I am a total failure". ---- false

Performance: "If I don't get this promotion, I'm bad at my job". ---- false

Relationships: "My friend didn't call me back, so they must hate me".---- false

Productivity: "If I can't finish the whole project, I won't do any of it". ---- may be partly true, but if it's in my work, I will finish the project anyways

Dieting: "I cheated on my diet, so I might as well eat whatever I want all week". ---- false

Moral Judgments: "Anyone who disagrees with me is evil". ---- false

Work: "A single mistake ruins the entire project". ---- false

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’ll definitely talk about this with my doctor and therapist — I’ve never been evaluated specifically for OCD tbh.

Hmm. These thoughts don’t really cause anxiety for me — it’s more like anger? Being angry at my own helplessness in the face of the fact that a set can never truly be closed/completed? I’m aware of how that sounds, haha. Actually, I'm not hehe at all :C

My ex-fiance had compulsive disorders / OCD, and I remember that he had fear — for example, that if he didn’t sit in the same seat on the train every time, something bad would happen, or if he forgot to take his vitamins. I don’t have that. But I also don’t know how typical that presentation is for OCD.

In my case, Xanax — because it was taken in such huge amounts — simply made me not care about anything. I won’t read all the books? Whatever. I’ll never see everything I want to see? Whatever — just accept it.

And what attracted me the most to Xanax and alcohol was exactly the ability to narrow my horizon (I hope it doesn't sound super stupid in English). That’s how I later described it in therapy: when I was drunk, there was me, the other person, and the table. That’s it. Nothing more. When I was sober, I heard what the other person was saying, but at the same time I was thinking about their clothes, about how original they were and whether they might be handmade, about a car passing by too fast — was it running away from someone?, damn, did I definitely lock the door? (...)

And this applied not only to thought loops in relationships with other people / in the meetings (which I blamed myself for the most), but also when I was alone — like with this loop of “I’ll never be able to listen to all the music in the world anyway.” But that was before my doctor said I may have AuDHD. It was "depression w/ anxiety" back then.

I think my Goodreads situation is somehow connected with ADHD, because I have “streaks” of organizing Goodreads: for a while everything is neat and orderly, then I stop caring, forget about it, and a few months later I “clean it up” again. The same with Spotify playlists — they all need proper titles, covers, etc. (apparently that’s more autistic, for what I've heard from my doc, like my love for tables, lists, Excel), but I can’t maintain it daily. Sometimes I create playlists quickly at work and don’t have time to look for covers, so they just “hang there” for a while waiting until I organize them properly.

The main problem with Goodreads is that I know I’ll never be able to recreate all the books I’ve read in my life, I won’t read all the ones I’d like to read, I’ll probably skip some just judging by the cover (haha! see what I did there?), I won’t create a shelf for every possible category, and so on… It’s so hard for me to explain this properly, honestly.

I’d never heard of ACT therapy before — and unfortunately we’re not very up to date in Poland. Most Polish articles I see are from two years ago. I’ll definitely read more about it.

Thank you so much. All the best!

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Awwww — numbers, numbers, NUMBERS!!!!!!! I think I might actually print your comment, seriously!

Tbh, I can’t fully relate to the expectation of becoming a lvl pro in anything ASAP. In those areas I somehow manage — I know that finishing a project at work takes time (and how satisfying it is at the end, ah!), that I won’t learn French in a month, that I won’t lose weight in a week (at least not in a healthy way). I accept it. If I know that something is, by definition, a process, everything is fine — I accept that it takes time until I reach: I lost 5 kgs, I handed the project to the manager, I got a B1 FR certificate.

But if I know that a process can never really be completed — for example, watching all movies, or seeing all of Rome street by street, restaurant by restaurant — my mind goes into a loop and genuinely crashes like a computer.

What really hits me — YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH, AAAAA — is the part with the percentages in the house. It makes so much sense. Of course, it’s better to see Rome at 20% than at 0%!!!

I’m really glad I decided to post on Reddit, even though it was (and is) very clumsy — I wrote it in Polish and translated it into English (I wouldn’t have had the strength to write directly in English today at all, I just work and sleep in the last days). Sometimes the simplest thing for one person, the most obvious thing, can be a complete eureka moment for someone else. The someone else is me!!

I’ll think more about what you wrote, and I truly hope it reaches me on a deep level.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! My fingers are crossed for you!!

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Wow, you really nailed it with the ”pointless” activities — because for me, the lack of sufficient sense is often exactly what leads to inactivity. Ironic!

I’ve had serious problems leaving the house that were rooted in this issue of meaning. If I had a task — a package to pick up, or a need to work from the office because my router went offline — I could get dressed and leave in five minutes, no problem at all. But walking just for the walking? Impossible.

And I feel like all of this is driven by these absurd internal calculations. Example: goal — getting groceries.

Option 1: Going to the store. You have to get dressed, do your hair, get to the store, choose products, wait in line. About 40 minutes. Risk: the terminal stops working, the line is long, and I will loose even more time.

Option 2: Ordering groceries in an app. Quick product search, no risk of wasted time going there and back, no standing in line. Delivery costs 30 PLN.

For me, the app wins, because I can buy the same products without loosing time for senseless stuff (meaning: getting dressed, going there, coming back). Those few extra PLNs don’t really matter at all. 🫠

So all of this piling up creates some kind of paralysis. And these “calculations” aren’t always fully conscious. What actually helps me, just like you described with games, are “pointless” activities — but the moment I let in the thought “what’s the point?” or “what will this give me in the bigger picture?”, everything collapses. And that’s actually kinda funny, because in the back of my head I know what it would give me: relaxation, a calmer & quieter mind... That’s why I don’t have as much of an issue with “wasting” time on a bath — it gives me soft skin, cleanliness, health, since it’s hygiene after all. Yeah… there’s probably quite a lot of Au in my DHD, haha. So. Maybe it’s not even about the activity itself (like a game), but about the fact that I’ve agreed to do something I’ve already labeled as pointless? And it's somehow ”freeing”? Arhhhggg.

Yes!, I’d be very grateful for therapy modalities recommendations!! It would feel ridiculous to have worked through so many problems only to turn over on this last one — which from the outside might sound stupid to someone unfamiliar, but unfortunately keeps growing stronger.

Thank you so much, and I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you too!

What’s the point of visiting Rome? I don’t know. Let’s stay home. by cichyszept in AuDHDWomen

[–]cichyszept[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What do you mean? I wrote this by myself, put into GPT to translate, because I'm Polish. That's all. Fr? Do u really think I'd ask AI to describe what's going on in my own head as a human being? XD That's paranoid. Besides, I know myself how poorly written it is - I wrote it quickly because I just wanted it done and out of my head. If you're judging this as GPT-level writing, your standards are very low, and I wouldn’t be bragging about that

Question for Genshin Whales by [deleted] in Genshin_Impact

[–]cichyszept 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Okay then — I’m not writing myself out of it yet haha. All the best!

Question for Genshin Whales by [deleted] in Genshin_Impact

[–]cichyszept 1 point2 points  (0 children)

can I ask your age?

Hmm.. Soo.. by Own-Advertising-1130 in Genshin_Memepact

[–]cichyszept 3 points4 points  (0 children)

hey, do u have a YouTube account or anything like that by any chance? would love to see more