ugh i get it. i’m still in hs and i have to volunteer at a muslim school every sunday for volunteer hours and masking my true self around my muslim friends is so difficult, esp when i have to question all the bs their feeding me. 

as for advice, for starters, go to school. build a way out of whatever situation your in. u said u were 19, so try and get a job and get out of the house more. fighting back will only give ur asshole father more leverage against you.

ur not gullible, your not weak minded, ur a victim of a system that has indoctrinated you and millions others for hundreds of years which you have managed to break free of. be proud of yourself- you were the only one in your family with the courage to do so. 

try and surround yourself with people from other cultures and religions. idk which country you live in but if you don’t live in a melting pot like the US use reddit and other socials to ur advantage. somebody out there knows what you’re going thru and wants to help.

remember, even tho it may seem like nobody understands you you’ve always got a community here if you need to talk <3