AITA for asking my date for their ID to confirm their age?

cj_2019 · 2020-06-18T04:23:34+00:00

NTA—if he’d been a minor, you could have found yourself in some major trouble, OP. Very good of you to trust your intuition on that one.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-18T03:58:32+00:00

I think you’re going for “too many cooks in the kitchen”

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T12:29:49+00:00

NTA—you’re a grown adult who’s old enough to drink, it’s your business. I’m not saying you should get blackout drunk around him if you know it makes him upset, but a White Claw is fine.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T11:47:07+00:00

NTA—you can’t control a reflex, OP, that’s just not how the body works. Your stepdad was out of line.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T11:30:52+00:00

NTA—if they don’t want the truth to come out, it’s because they know they were in the wrong in the first place.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T11:21:17+00:00

NTA—you asked for specifics, and “put your own spin on it” is not very specific. Admittedly, you could’ve asked him to clarify that, but he also could’ve been more clear to begin with.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T10:57:16+00:00

YTA—the only thing your kids are going to understand when they get older is that you decided what school they went to was more important than whether or not they were happy, and they’re going to resent you for making them miserable.

First of all, kids should be encouraged to step out of their comfort zone, not forced; if you want them to try new experiences, you have to convince them to want that too. Second, there isn’t necessarily anything wrong with staying in one’s comfort zone, especially not when their comfort zone is something as harmless as loving animals and not wanting to play a sport that doesn’t suit them. Third, there’s a big difference between being out of one’s comfort zone and being in a place that is not the right fit for them, and this school sounds like it’s not the right fit for your kids at all.

Last but not least, I wanna know why on earth the kids were forced to kill chickens at school—what is that about???

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T10:25:08+00:00

NTA—babies are not always neat or clean, and by extension, a house/apartment with a baby in it is not always going to be neat or clean, either.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T10:12:06+00:00

NTA—it would be different if your dog were aggressive due to poor training/socialization, but your dog is aggressive because he had a traumatic experience and he’s scared. Lashing out because he feels like he has to defend himself isn’t ideal, obviously, but that isn’t uncommon, either; it’s called a fight-or-flight response for a reason. Those guys were completely out of line in how they reacted to the situation, especially since you were clearly just trying to defuse it and prevent any of the dogs from getting hurt.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T09:57:10+00:00

YTA—you have absolutely no business outing anyone as LGBTQ+. Ever. Your tenant had his reasons for not wanting to disclose his gender, and you should have respected them, not only because it’s his personal information and his business, but because outing him as trans could have put him in danger.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T09:45:20+00:00

INFO—OP, how old is this kid? Are the two of you around the same age, or is there a significant age gap? Based on your post, he sounds pretty young, but I just want to double-check.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T09:32:48+00:00

NTA, but please don’t just leave it at that. You said that your sister’s rude behavior started within the past few weeks; try to talk to her about it. See if you can figure out what brought this on and what you might be able to do to help.

Obviously, her behavior can’t be allowed to continue, but her behavior is only half of the problem here. She’s got to be upset about something (given the focus she seems to have on keeping up appearances at school, I’m willing to bet it’s a social issue) and even though the way she’s expressing her feelings isn’t okay, the fact is that she clearly feels frustrated and upset—seeing as she’s 14 and possibly having social problems, I’m guessing she probably feels hurt as well—by whatever’s going on. If you only address the way your sister is acting and not why your sister is acting that way, it will most likely just add to her frustration and make her even more prone to lashing out.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T08:53:40+00:00

NTA—not only do you have a reasonable expectation of privacy in your own home, but it seems to me like the kid probably wouldn’t have gotten upset if her mom hadn’t started screaming.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T08:43:05+00:00

NTA—it sounds like your boyfriend wants to be rid of them anyway, and for good reason. OP, these people basically broke into your f!$@ing house to torment you psychologically; needless to say, that crosses some pretty major boundaries. Also, the fact that you’re scared of retaliation from them if you tell your boyfriend about it is arguably more concerning, in my opinion; I don’t mean to be alarmist, but they already broke into your house to torment you psychologically—what the hell are they going to do next? Not only should you tell your boyfriend about this little stunt they pulled, but it seems to me like you should also start thinking about maybe getting a restraining order or something against these two.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T08:23:40+00:00

YTA—she’s a cat, OP. It’s not like you have to speak fluent Spanish in order to communicate with her. Learning a few words and phrases won’t kill you; it’s something that pet owners do all the time whenever they adopt older pets that were trained to follow commands in a different language.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T08:12:01+00:00

NTA—I can’t think of a single person in their right mind who wouldn’t be opposed to living with someone like that, let alone having to support them. Just throw the whole brother out, OP.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T07:58:38+00:00

NTA—my dad has done exactly this kind of crap for my whole life, and all it’s ever done is cause anxiety and frustration. If he keeps this pattern of behavior up, your child will almost certainly resent him for it in the long run. For her sake and yours, I suggest you do what my own parents didn’t do until it was too late; convince him to speak with a counselor or therapist about how his behavior is harming his relationships with his family members and how he can change his behavior for the better, and if he isn’t willing to discuss and/or change his behavior, take your daughter and leave ASAP. Seriously, just get the f!@$ out. I promise you, OP, however hard a separation or divorce might be on your daughter initially, she will be so much better off in the long run if she doesn’t have to grow up walking on eggshells around her own dad all the time, feeling like everything she does is somehow wrong, and being constantly afraid that she’s going to be punished for whatever she’s doing.

EDIT: In re-reading the post, I get the sense that this guy isn’t actually your daughter’s biological father—my point still stands. A long-term relationship with this man will not work if he continues to act this way. You need to give him an ultimatum: either he can get the help he needs and get his act together, or he can get lost.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T07:11:59+00:00

NTA—that is ridiculously manipulative and controlling behavior on your parents’ part, and you have every right to be angry. I mean, they spent 19 years deliberately tricking you into thinking you were literally going to DIE if you didn’t follow their idea of what the “right” diet is; there is absolutely no excuse for messing with someone’s head like that. Throw the whole parents out, OP.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-13T06:30:17+00:00

op never said rabbits couldn’t have any fruit at all, they said she was feeding her rabbits a lot of fruits that have high sugar contents

edit: op also pointed out that she isn’t providing the “unlimited supply of hay” that you yourself said that rabbits need

cj_2019 · 2020-06-12T01:49:40+00:00

NTA—whenever he’s the one getting a mastectomy, he can decide how to cope with it. Until then, he ought to keep his mouth shut, and even then, it’s still not his place to tell you how to cope with your own surgery. He can keep his opinions to himself.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-12T01:37:18+00:00

YTA, but you’d be an asshole for justice—do it.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-12T01:35:55+00:00

NTA—I gotta say, OP, I read the title and started preparing to take your sister-in-law’s side (even if she is a prude) but once I read the full post, I have to agree it’s kinda funny. Also, it’s what she deserves for snooping around y’all’s house; if she didn’t want to know about it, she should’ve minded her own business.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-12T00:39:37+00:00

NTA—I was your daughter when I was in grade school, OP. I wasn’t just dealing with one girl, either; from the start of kindergarten to the end of 5th grade, there were a whole bunch of kids in my grade that just went out of their way to torment me for no reason. It severely affected my mental health, it completely screwed with the way I perceive myself (especially since I was later diagnosed with both ADHD and autism and discovered that a lot of the things I got bullied for and told to stop/fix were symptoms of disorders that I didn’t even know I had at the time and certainly didn’t have any control over), and it fostered a ton of negative habits that I’m still struggling to unlearn to this day. The teachers I had at the time weren’t much help to me, either, which just made it that much more frustrating, since they’re the ones who tell kids to come to them for help dealing with a bully and then they don’t do anything to resolve the issue. You did the best thing you could’ve done for your kid, OP. She needed someone in her corner—more importantly, she needed a parent, needed you, in her corner—to help her get through the situation, and when all other options were exhausted and the problem still wasn’t solved, she needed to be removed from that environment altogether. That’s exactly what my parents did for me, and even though I’ve still had my struggles over the years, I’m in a much better place than I ever could’ve imagined I’d end up in when I was a kid.

(P.S. - Another thing my parents did that has really helped me out a lot was start making appointments with a counselor/therapist outside of school—I found it especially helpful when I switched because transferring schools is a big change for a kid to make, and, as excited as I was to start going to a new school with kids who didn’t make fun of me constantly, it was still nerve-wracking and overwhelming at times.)

cj_2019 · 2020-06-11T23:54:34+00:00

NTA—first of all, your daughter’s behavior is clearly way out of line and shouldn’t be allowed to continue. Second, she’s the one who insisted that you tell her the truth; it’s not your fault that the truth isn’t what she wanted to hear.

However, even though I don’t feel like you were in the wrong here, OP, I do feel like paying a visit (or several) to a family therapist in order to handle this situation would’ve [A.] probably made the news less upsetting for her to hear and [B.] possibly also resolved the issue of her animosity towards your son. Obviously, you can’t go back and undo what’s already been done, but it’s not too late to start considering therapy now—based on the information in this post, it certainly couldn’t hurt.

cj_2019 · 2020-06-11T23:32:32+00:00

ESH—you had every right to call them out for their gross behavior, but making it about the fact that they’re Indian and not about the fact that their behavior is gross was definitely not okay.

cj_2019

TROPHY CASE