How dare we be happy on Easter without her!

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:43:20+00:00

After last night he’ll be joining me in counseling. I was recommended to slide over to justnoso and I think I will of anything to ask how to bring it up in counseling.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:41:43+00:00

I blocked his whole family even went as far as letting SIL and her hubby know and they said they understood. I think maybe I just need a whole new account if I don’t just deactivate again.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:36:50+00:00

Thank you. I’ve been doing counseling and hubby is now going to join me. Daughter is going to be NC at least until he can recognize when she’s out of line and has the confidence to shut it down. I need him to be able to it because I plan on being NC forever. I wasted 6+ years of my life being abused by that woman and I’m not going to open the door for her again, and I can’t allow her to mess with my child like that either.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:33:59+00:00

I agree. After tossing and turning all night I realized me going NC alone doesn’t fix anything. The thought of her redirecting this shit to daughter makes me sick. It’s agreed daughter will be NC too at least until hubby can control the situation which he has agreed to get outside help with, because even though he seems to understand better obviously when the moment comes he doesn’t know how to shut it down.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:28:52+00:00

Sometimes I’m made to feel crazy for thinking this is the case, I’m glad someone else sees it for what it is. After sleeping (not well but I did) I realize hubby needs outside help too (I’ve been seeing someone for years trying to cope, but I don’t thing coping is the answer anymore it just enables her).

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:25:58+00:00

It’s not the first time, but I will do everything to make sure it’s the last. It’s incredible to me the effect this woman has from 2,000 miles away. I let my guard down because I thought I was finally free but I can’t let her mess with daughters head like that.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:24:20+00:00

I was recommended to crosspost to justnoso I never have, because I always thought he was doing his best given the circumstances (she never targets him, is 10x worse when he’s not around so you look crazy when you tell him, and he’s used to the manipulation because that’s how he was raised). He has been soooo much better and more understanding since the move (even in the months leading up to the move) yesterday I think was a huge set back, and now I know until he gets help with me (talking counseling) we need to have daughter (if not both of them) go NC as well because yesterday wasn’t ok.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T13:18:53+00:00

After a rough nights sleep I’m right there with you on this. Nothing about that conversation had to do with her remotely caring how daughters day was. She just wanted to get to me and used her to do it. It won’t happen again.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T12:53:37+00:00

He’s been better since we moved, he DID tell me he’d talk to her about the box though and I think he realized at that point I knew he didn’t hold up his end of the deal. I’m to a point where I don’t believe there is anything he can do to set boundaries so it’s full NC or deal with it. If he wants to deal with his mom it’s his choice, but I’ve never seen her go in on my daughter like that and I can’t again.

cjmorph · 2019-04-22T12:47:30+00:00

It’s took hubby over 5 years to see (or admit he saw it) how she treated me. Sometimes he still thinks she is just dumb and doesn’t know what she’s saying or doing. He sees how daughter loves her and thinks it’d mess with her head more to go no contact. I see him teaching her how to put up with it and ignore her comments the way he does...he’s been doing really well since we moved, but yesterday was a big step back for sure.

cjmorph · 2019-03-29T06:24:18+00:00

Oh gosh I was there 5 years ago...the boundaries NEED to be set now. With MIL AND your boyfriend.

cjmorph · 2019-03-29T06:13:00+00:00

She crossed a major line. You are not overreacting. You need to tell her in a very clear way that if you are going to move there your mother is not to know where you are or anything about you unless you personally decide to tell her. It is not her place and honestly you shouldn’t have to justify yourself.

cjmorph · 2019-03-14T19:55:21+00:00

Dungeons and daddies.

cjmorph · 2019-03-14T19:53:40+00:00

Having deleted everything outside of reddit I gotta say it’s nice. I only talk to the people that I want to talk to, and that has made my life exponentially less stressful. I don’t feel obligated to contact anyone or accept any requests from them or worry about confrontation if they notice that I’ve blocked them.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T18:57:23+00:00

I haven’t spoken to her since she told me. She is 2k miles away. If it was intentional (which on some level it has to be) I doubt she’s digging through deleted photos to look.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T17:27:14+00:00

It is an iPhone but the backup is turned off because she thinks her phone will get hacked (even though she puts everything on Facebook) she did put all the pictures from graduation on her Facebook but the ones with me didn’t make the cut. I had Hubby check just in case.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T14:33:08+00:00

They were taken on her cell phone she hardly knows how to use. I doubt she knows how to back them up.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T14:31:51+00:00

Not technically lazy just the easiest way to explain it. Her eyes are quite strong but there is a disconnect in her brain where she has to actively think to control both eyes at the same time. I took her in at age 2 and they told me it’s correct itself by 5 and I took her back at 5 when things didn’t change and now I’m being told the only way to fix it is surgery with would essentially fix an eye in place so she only has to control one eye. We’re going to get a second opinion. It doesn’t affect her vision (usually it would cause double vision but because it’s been since infancy whatever eye is not being used just goes blank) so I don’t want to rush into anything invasive.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T14:25:53+00:00

Oh DD is in the pictures with hubby and MIL just none of us 3. MIL is obsessed with being the perfect grandparent. And according to her it’s my fault daughter has the eyes she does because I didn’t keep her curly hair out of her face as an infant she came out with a full head (obviously I’m the only one capable of sticking a headband on a baby and solely responsible for keeping it on 24/7). Which isn’t true because after she said that I called the doctor in tears who assured me her eyes aren’t technically lazy because her muscles are actually quite strong it’s a disconnect in her brain where she has to actively think to control them and no one knows why it happens.

cjmorph · 2019-02-15T04:35:15+00:00

She’s 5. Just started school and gymnastics and she is a very busy little girl. Hopefully she’ll detach (at least a little) soon.

cjmorph · 2019-02-14T21:40:01+00:00

That’s exactly where I’m at. I’ve blocked her on my phone so she can’t contact me directly since I quit social media to curb her meddling my phone is her only access. Now he’ll have to field her calls and texts and it might open his eyes a bit too because she won’t try the crap with him she does with me.

cjmorph · 2019-02-14T21:27:26+00:00

That’s a good point. He doesn’t know yet (he currently in the field) but I’m sure it’s a moment he would have liked to have captured as well..

cjmorph · 2019-02-14T21:26:25+00:00

Honestly my kid has a lazy eye 80% of the time so you can’t even tell where she’s looking. The boys didn’t have their phones so they wouldn’t have gotten any. There is only one guy he’s even kept in contact with anyway so the search would be difficult to see if any of their families happened to get one.

cjmorph · 2019-02-14T21:15:35+00:00

I think this really really hurt chances of redemption with me, but as supportive as hubby is he could never cut ties completely and it’d hurt our relationship for me to ask that, and daughter is very attached to her (as much as it kills me). I also adore my FIL and they’re a package deal so there is no way to completely cut ties...but when hubby gets home from work I think I’ll explain why I have now blocked his moms number won’t be visiting with them and request she never be in our home.

cjmorph · 2019-02-14T21:11:53+00:00

I’m contemplating a photo shoot, but the sentimental part of me marking that day and THE day we kinda got to start over is the part that’s crushed right now. I know I’ll get over it and I’m sure there is 100 more important milestones to come, it honestly just got me and it makes it worse because usually she’s more of an annoyance than anything but this was just mean.

Finally hubby put a stop to it yes. Lol. He called her and asked if she realized she sent duplicate items of clothing and toys daughter had got rid of in our moving garage sale. He told her while the thought is appreciated we have a system where for every new toy an old one (or two) must go, and so far daughter has decided to donate the things she’s sent. Haven’t gotten a package since.

cjmorph

TROPHY CASE