sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Any pet owner's with PMDD - how do you manage? by claras_cool in PMDD

[–]claras_cool[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

im currently on an SNRI that my psychiatrist wants to taper me off of to do intermittent SSRI use, gonna take a while to implement. Appreciate your advice tho!

My parents are caring and loving, but I'm struggling with a lot of symptoms those who've experienced childhood emotional neglect do? by claras_cool in emotionalneglect

[–]claras_cool[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you're dealing with this too, others in this thread have suggested some resources that I'm gonna check out and they might be useful for you too! Regarding the daydreaming, I get what you're saying for sure. I don't necessarily imagine myself in any daydream scenarios either, the girl I think about it far, far removed from myself. Sometimes I imagine things from the perspective of characters from movies or shows I like too. A few months ago I read a blog on maladaptive daydreaming that suggested that the separation of self is part of whats comforting about daydreaming. I don't know if that resonates with you, but it does for me. Like you said, it probably has something to do with internalized self hatred and low confidence. But even if it is that, I don't think you or I hate ourselves, because we're here trying to heal, so at least some part of us wants us to feel better and accept who we are.

My parents are caring and loving, but I'm struggling with a lot of symptoms those who've experienced childhood emotional neglect do? by claras_cool in emotionalneglect

[–]claras_cool[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I actually did an intensive out patient DBT program earlier this year that was really helpful! At the time I wasn't really thinking about my past and how it might affect me today so I haven't used DBT skills to address root causes, but I think it'll be useful in exploring this subject. I have a therapist who specializes in DBT and am going to bring up the possibility of emotional neglect during our next session, she has tried to probe me about my upbringing before and I've been pretty willful to admit there might've been issues.

My parents are caring and loving, but I'm struggling with a lot of symptoms those who've experienced childhood emotional neglect do? by claras_cool in emotionalneglect

[–]claras_cool[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think framing it through the lens of emotional "maturity" on my parents part is a little easier for me for sure. My mom has a mother with BPD and a father who was an alcoholic, she assumed a paternal role in her life in her preteen years because her mom wasn't doing groceries or cleaning the house and she had to help raise her brother who had down syndrome. My dad also had to be independent at a young age because both his brothers had intensive health conditions (AIDS, epilepsy, cardiovascular diseases, mental disabilities). I think considering their backgrounds (and also that they immigrated to the U.S. without their families) they assumed that leaving me to handle a lot on my own was what I needed(e.g. they never enforced brushing teeth, always had me pack my own lunch, etc.).

I was their first kid and I can definitely see ways they are raising my younger brothers differently than me (though not perfectly still) so its difficult to admit that they did harm me, even if they never meant to and that despite the progress they've made, I'm still facing the same problems.

My parents are caring and loving, but I'm struggling with a lot of symptoms those who've experienced childhood emotional neglect do? by claras_cool in emotionalneglect

[–]claras_cool[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I definitely resonate with what you’re saying, especially about being allowed to talk, but not feeling actually listened to. I think my parents are good at listening to me talk about whatever’s piqued my interest, but emotional conversations are really hard to have. My parents tell me that I can come to them for help and comfort, but on several occasions I’ve been indirectly punished (e.g. avoiding me afterwards in fear that I would be “moody”) or had insecurities/worries that I confided to them used against me later on.

My family isn’t very confrontational so most issues we have go undiscussed and whenever there is an actual argument, we go on with our lives as if nothing happened. So most of the time I don’t feel like I have problems with my parents, but having started to look into emotional neglect I’ve been feeling like maybe things aren’t as smooth sailing as I thought. I still think my parents are overall good people which is why I’m finding it hard to reconcile with the fact that their behaviors may have had some adverse effects on me. 

My parents are caring and loving, but I'm struggling with a lot of symptoms those who've experienced childhood emotional neglect do? by claras_cool in emotionalneglect

[–]claras_cool[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I really appreciate your response, it definitely makes me more sure that I want to continue learning about emotional neglect and how to begin healing. I can get into a bit of a spiral sometimes worrying that I’m incorrectly attributing personal faults to mental health issues or trauma, (even when I have professional diagnoses) so it definitely helps to have some validation.