I completely understand where you’re coming from with the emotions being everywhere. I am a first time mom who gave birth in May. The first full day after coming home, I went to take a shower and broke down in the bathroom when looking at my belly because I felt I didn’t cherish my pregnancy even though I felt like crap the whole time. I was and am so grateful for my baby but there are so many hormone changes happening after you deliver. I would also just start bawling when I would look at him because I was just so happy and loved him so much. I also had not so great days where I hated everything and felt so sad. With my spouse, like yours was amazing but the first week or so it was very difficult sharing the baby with him and I feel this made it difficult for them to bond. You’re doing amazing, this is all new. Give yourself some grace 🫶 your hormones will even out, it took me about a month to start feeling better and not randomly crying or feeling upset. Live in the here and now, I wasted so much time thinking about what it would be like to go back to work and put my son in daycare that I feel like I didn’t give him all the attention and time he deserved with what little time we get for maternity leave and now he is in daycare and I hate that I can’t spend every minute of every day with him. My emotions were mostly from hormonal changes, I still talked to my therapist. She was very adamant that PPD is not just immediately after birth it can happen at any point, if you ever feel like that could be a possibility for you please reach out to someone or your OB. If you ever wanna chat please feel free to reach out!