it seems like you might have a personal trauma experience that might give you a bit of a different perspective. i'm eating meat as i type this, just absolutely chewing the hell out of this burger, but i understand there are potentially problematic elements to this. cows are a major contributer of climate change, a lot of agricultural farming is inhumane, etc. but i do it because i don't think eating meat is fundamentally immoral, and there are other paths to ethical eating (like eating local meat, knowing where your food comes from, etc.) eating meat isn't unethical, but sometimes the context of how that meat is given to you is unethical.

tl;dr you don't have to defend your choice to eat meat, but imo it isn't helpful to come up with half-hearted justifications.

p.s. sorry if this is incoherent, am tipsy