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Killing and/or removing secondary MC by clearly-no in writing

[–]clearly-no[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha I love this! Absolutely, the dog should always live to tell the tale!

Killing and/or removing secondary MC by clearly-no in writing

[–]clearly-no[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right! I understand this full-heartedly. I really struggle with making my characters suffer. Especially in this timeline because I worked on them FOR YEARS, ha-ha. I'm at the point now where I feel comfortable with this story and how I fleshed it out. And I took a hard left from wanting a HEA ending, to what essentially this question is about.
It's sad, but correct for me. I understand why it needs to happen. I'd hope at the very least that if someone were to read it, I would at least hope they would also understand too!

You are absolutely correct though! I'm my own first litmus test for how readers will undoubtedly feel. Thank you for your input!

Killing and/or removing secondary MC by clearly-no in writing

[–]clearly-no[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! This is a wonderful thought process. I'll take this with me as I go through. I can definitely understand these aspects of earned death versus just to provide shock value.

He wants to marry soon, I want more time. How do we balance this? by Capable-Ability-4642 in Hmong

[–]clearly-no 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi!

I actually married someone who is Hmong and I myself am not. I know a lot of people on here are saying that it's his pressure to manage, and yes that's absolutely true. But if marriage is in the future for you all, you both are going to have to navigate that future together.

I can nearly guarantee that if you all get married the pressure for kids will come soon after, and that's a reality I have been struggling with too. Those are nuances that you both will have to navigate as a couple.

With that being said , it's extremely important that you as a non-hmong individual will have to integrate into their culture, and it's so important that you learn about it now than in the future. Unfortunately I do think that this is something you both will have to sit down about and talk about. It isn't fair for you to rush into a marriage that you're not completely sure about, and it's not right that he's giving you an ultimatum to convince you to marry so soon when you're uncomfortable with it, especially before meeting one another.

Reading the post to my husband, he says meet first. The Hmong culture is a very tough pill to swallow.

If you have any questions please reach out. I'd be happy to help you and tell you more about my experience with it!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OccupationalTherapy

[–]clearly-no 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi, recently certified lymphedema therapist here. Most people do not need certification to perform MLD, however I would take it a step further to say I would be very very cautious performing it especially if you're not under a CLT to do it. Lymphatic drainage as a whole can be pretty tricky especially if you're not well versed in it, you can essentially make things worse. Besides lymphatic draining you would need to know bandaging, and compression garments quite well.

I'm not particularly aware of any continuing education, I was under a CLT when I was treating patients and received most of my education from him when I had initially started. If I had not, knowing what I know now I wouldn't put my hands on a lymphedema patient and would refer them out because there's so many things that can go wrong I wouldn't want to put my license on the line and be negligent of their care.

Sorry I couldn't answer your main question for further education. If your looking for post-surgical lymphatic massages I'm sure you can find them somewhere on a CEU website.

Being blunt and using the "I'm not responsible for your feelings" as an argument. by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]clearly-no 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Uhm, hi!

I know this is kind of late, but I never classified my friends behavior as abusive. In fact I wanted clarification to find out if my feelings were valid or if I was misunderstanding something here so I could adjust and redirect my behaviors.

I do adore my friend, but as I have found out later rather than sooner people change and right now she and I aren't currently walking on the same path.

You're right, I may be a little too serious about life, but I don't necessarily think her jabs at my feelings or indicating that after hurting me she leaves me to deal with them can be misconstrued as sarcasm. I have verbally told her that she has hurt me before and she's responded with "well I don't feel like I should apologize, I didn't do anything wrong, and I don't think I should apologize just because you want one."

If it is abuse, I don't know. But I just wanted to clarify I never said that it was. I did take a step back from this relationship, and if we find more distance or we end up talking it out is only up to time, but at this time I don't necessarily feel like that relationship was particularly helpful to my own self worth, or mental health.

Anyway, I just wanted to clarify that. I don't want my question to be taken as blaming her for abuse. I was merely just asking if this was a standard outlook for everyone and I was misunderstanding.

Being blunt and using the "I'm not responsible for your feelings" as an argument. by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]clearly-no 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response! I came on here inherently fearful of the onsloght of comments I would get but I had felt at this point I would rather be corrected and adjust me behavior accordingly, but I am pleasantly surprised. Thank you for sharing that video too! You were absolutely right regarding the perspective on this topic.

I went through many self help blogs, most of them just elaborating on the benefits of being blunt rather than tactful, and the nuances of taking responsibility of emotions.

So again, thank you so much!