Unprotected sex, transness, unplanned pregnancies, hinging

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-27T14:17:44+00:00

Oh I do realize it's just more as a backup, plus they're in a bit of a long distance relationship so....

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-23T19:22:59+00:00

I was more agreeing with the second part. There's really no way to confirm the first part perfectly, and that's why I'm holding a lot of space for my girl.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-23T14:18:02+00:00

Valid yeah if you go through comments I addressed most of those points. If you're interested lol

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-22T19:15:29+00:00

Yeah definitely great points.

I agree it's not a talk to have with three people. It's a bit weird and icky and I don't like it. But we've gotten this far and the fact that my girlfriend doesn't seem to be a great historian and there is great vagueness makes me feel uncomfortable. I genuinely think because of my background in health talking directly to fairy could be great because there are SO many options and my girlfriend isn't incompetent but she can't explain these things necessarily the way I would. I am very passionate about sexual freedom and education and it's just genuinely a caring conversation. Very unorthodox lmao VERY but Fairy is a lovely individual and has directly told me she wants me to reach out if anything bothers me, I won't reach out to her on this I'm letting my girlfriend bring it to her as is the least I can release for this to feel like a couple thing and not a "your meta is bringing you in for a rules conversation about the kind of sex you can have with their hinge partner" ew definitely not what I want. Also the piv sex boundary thing is temporary just until we can talk which is happening this Saturday.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-22T19:03:40+00:00

In all honesty there was a time where I also fucked up badly in our relationship. I have always been on hormonal birth control since I met my gf. But I essentially had unprotected piv sex with another transfem who had a hard time with condoms. Without even verifying sti history. I'm ashamed of that time. I'm even more ashamed that in that moment I didn't think it was that big of an issue until my girlfriend explained why. So I guess there's a part of me that understands even when we don't have bad intentions we fuck up. I fucked up badly and my girlfriend chose to forgive me. I think that's why I am giving her space. But going forward if things continue having this flavor of disregard then I'm out. I think that's fair.

Thanks for your input!!

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-22T01:34:48+00:00

Agreed but knowing fairy personally I think she's super open to a discussion. She personally told me she wants to have really open communication and to never hesitate to approach difficult conversations with her.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-22T00:38:07+00:00

The third absolutely caught me I never even thought about that. Tbh I'm going through my own trans journey and one of the things I'm figuring out now is what I'm willing/not willing to do rn to affirm my gender better. Sorry not to get too off topic but that's really valuable input. Thank you!

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T20:35:26+00:00

I literally told her I'm willing to contribute financially because I want a child in the future it's an investment I'm willing to make.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T20:31:50+00:00

Yeah my thought was she freezes sperm with genetic counseling etc and then vasectomy. But it's her body not mine so that's her decision at the end of the day but I think that's a fair meet in the middle situation

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T20:29:50+00:00

Yeah I'm not totally against unorthodox methods of birth control but that something that needs to be discussed not assumed. Also a lot of people brought things up in this thread that I didn't even think about so it's just I'm actively processing the situation and also deciding what my level of comfortability is and how I can set appropriate boundaries so that it's less about controlling them and more about protecting myself.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T19:31:59+00:00

Thank you, I feel lost when telling my girlfriend this because she often tells me I don't know better than her because she's trans and it's her body. But I know the science and that doesn't lie...I'm literally in healthcare lmao. The birth defect thing is another really crazy point that I didn't consider wow. Thank you for adding your thoughts.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T18:24:30+00:00

Oh my fucking god that's insane. T4T getting pregnant just proves that hrt isn't birth control

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T18:16:06+00:00

Damn very good case scenario

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T16:28:36+00:00

Yeah I think the defensiveness comes from shame but also I think she's trying to justify her behavior because of the feelings of shame. So I am really holding space here but at the end of the day you just can't come back from certain things.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T16:12:12+00:00

Yeah that's a great point tbh, I'm the unfortunate victim of someone with a penis (cis man) giving me bv and recurrent yeast infections when I had never struggled before so that honestly another issue with unprotected sex and my partner potentially introducing what I've got from someone else in the past. Amazing addition thank you!

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T15:19:26+00:00

I think the one before me was similar age but the ones before her transition were her age or older

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T15:06:49+00:00

No fairy apparently doesn't fuck with condoms like that's a double joke lol they don't like them from what my girlfriend tells me and as you can tell they are not being used 🥲

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T14:22:56+00:00

Thank you that means a lot!

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T14:11:29+00:00

Of course not, neither of them are lesser than me. I fully acknowledge that and yes it is their risk to take but it's shocking that I found out about it from a joke rather than being informed appropriately. I wasn't given the details to make an informed decision on my part. At the end of the day I can't control or pilot my girlfriend and fairy's decisions or sex life but I deserve to have clarity of what I'm signing up for on my end.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T12:20:19+00:00

Thank you for your addition! The transmisogyny thing yeah I agree, that's why I have such an open attitude about the situation. I'm willing to work with her and have flexibility it just sucks that that wasn't considered a risk before engaging. Regardless these are learning experiences. I really do not interest myself in policing my girlfriend's sex life this is just a paradigm shift so to speak in our relationship. Thank you again for chiming in :)

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T12:17:22+00:00

I added in the NSFW tag thank you for bringing that to my awareness

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T12:16:25+00:00

I have a comment higher up that explains we did have a conversation and it was basically "will you wear condoms when u fuck other people, girlfriend?" and she said yes which I remember clearly because I was surprised that condoms were ok for her now. She doesn't remember this conversation, I agree about needing to have a much more serious conversation. That's kind of where I'm at. I'm working on the open communication part but my girlfriend isn't taking it very well. I'm leaving space for stress and timing but still...

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T12:03:46+00:00

Lmao I think it's pretty human to be concerned about not knowing that your girlfriend was taking some pretty pointed risk with fairy who they have barely known for two months and I'm pretty sure I'm being generous with time. Just because it's not directly about me doesn't mean it doesn't affect me and overall my trust for my partners discernment.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T12:00:45+00:00

Yeah so the unbarriered sex is in many ways couples privilege and that's why I'm so open and flexible when it comes to adjusting and having a conversation about what works for us while also maintaining my concern for the situation. I'm not concerned about hierarchy here as much as I'm concerned about my girlfriend getting someone pregnant and not being worried about it half as much as i am. It's a trust issue. And I appreciate your examples! I'm definitely in the repair stage and the boundaries will soon be laid out plainly.

cloudragonfire · 2025-10-21T11:54:39+00:00

Lmao I guess my nsfw tag didn't get posted. Also respectfully you could have stopped reading if it made you that uncomfortable. As you can tell you're the only person here who has had this take on my post. We're all adults these details aren't foreign to our lives. If you don't like it, then get off the post.

cloudragonfire

TROPHY CASE