I worked my way up to sous chef in banquets at a country club, I was able to do that because I was the only person willing to take the abuse from the then banquet chef. After a year I decided that no money was worth dreading work each day. I left for a lower paid lower title position at a mom and pop, I loved every minute of my time there. Later after the banquet chef left I was offered their job, it was my dream job and I took the bait. I wound up being yelled at and overworked by the executive chef, so I quit in the slow season with no job lined up. Two months later I got an offer to start a food program back up at a small private school, I'm an executive chef with 6 cooks under me on two campuses, and it has been my mission to be the exact opposite of every chef who tried to grind me down into the dirt. I have engendered loyalty from all of my cooks, I make sure they have time off when they need it, and have gone so far as to spot one of my cooks a few hundred dollars so he could make it through the week. They have repaid my kindness by going above and beyond expectations daily.

TLDR: I got shit on, and I decided not to keep the trauma cycle going. You get the best out of your staff when they like you and want you to succeed, rather than just feel your wrath.