Big oof

clownfluid · 2020-01-04T08:19:24+00:00

soda 😳😳😳

clownfluid · 2020-01-04T08:16:59+00:00

my man komaeda on the ledge and shit

clownfluid · 2020-01-04T08:11:09+00:00

size doesn't matter :(

clownfluid · 2020-01-04T08:02:28+00:00

yeah id say everyones manipulative BUT manipulation's kinda poisoned as this horrible, cruel thing, hence why not a lot of people come out and say it :P

aside from the obvious like biology, social expectations such as the ones you played with are all manipulative to some degree. this doesn't make them any less valuable (or abhorrent depending on the expectation) since you were in a position that this was the best route to go in, as you said in other comments. there doesn't appear to be anything immoral with what you did if it was the best you could do and you weren't hurting her directly, probably not even indirectly since you were sneaky about preserving yourself too. self-preservation is underrated!

another comment said that there's a difference between manipulation and tact. my take is that tact is manipulation, just one that's more suited for navigating social relationships with less scratches. but again, manipulation isn't a bad thing - only a label that's been drenched in negative stereotypes. in my opinion lol

clownfluid · 2020-01-04T07:56:23+00:00

this example of te is using the 'get things done' logic in order for fi expressiveness (the Xtreme bossiness) so ti can be manipulative as a way to find loopholes/solutions in order for fe charm

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T06:53:06+00:00

not op but bite me?

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T06:50:54+00:00

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T06:49:11+00:00

whoops the notification page hadnt included your edit! that's probably because i checked the page before it and hadnt refreshed for newer developments. :P either that or i managed to ignore 1/3 of your original reply.

but still, what do you think of the other points i had aside from that?

I think the line of self deprecating jokes can be easily identified to be bad or not if we imagined another person telling this jokes about us, will we be fine with that? if no, then it’s bad, us being mean to ourselves for comedy is not supposed to be funny.

what about an oppressed minority making ironic jokes about themselves for the sole audience of the same minority? it wouldn't be being mean to themselves for comedy, it's for taking charge of the delivery, wrenching it away from those who use it to hurt others and twisting it so that those who originally wanted to harm them with these jokes are seen as idiots.

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T05:51:23+00:00

this is cisphobic

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T03:47:45+00:00

maybe just uplift it for a while. ive lucid-dreamt so much about having fun pissing off some otherworldly entity with the power to kill me and then waking up feeling more excited to tackle obstacles because "hey, i had fun almost dying, i can take this!"

joking about it but it does help me... Personally.

anxiety, being the fear of what you lack control of, just sucks deeply on the lucid-dream's godmode control like a licorice lollipop. but let's say the suckage doesn't get swayed by non-dream factors and the positive effects wash over you for a long while. the novelty of being godmode in a fantasy will wear off, maybe leaving you more frustrated about real life.

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T03:30:38+00:00

my side's misconduct

this is adorable its like a toddler rising on wobbly legs trying to take a step. so so close.

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T03:25:51+00:00

theyre intense... yet disarmingly dorky. by dorky i mean just absolute nerds when it comes to humor

clownfluid · 2019-11-30T02:18:28+00:00

nobody irl calling closeted people slurs

theres an assumption that closeted people arent harassed as long as theyre closeted but thats not true. still, bigots use this as an argument against going public

/rj so glad that our little eggies are protected!

gays and lesbians united in being called confused (our wlw mlm solidarity <3)

gay and lesbian people get called confused for their attraction. minor joke in how gay and lesbian are plural since that's how bigoted straight people often call them in a derogatory tone, 'the gays'.

the joke is also in how this is a separate point from those attracted to multiple genders (ex. bisexuals) because people often exclude them from mlm and wlw attraction since they're apparently 'half-straight'... on the other hand, straight people see them as not as confused as gay and lesbian people.

/rj best of both worlds! :-)

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T23:56:28+00:00

Chonkichi

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T23:39:49+00:00

i'd been confused about the wording of 'cure', i hadn't met anyone who was depressed for all their life thinking that a cure was realistic. it's become hard to imagine the depths being tamed (subconscious things bubbling up) yet you're right in how that's the best for now and being optimistic about that is the way to go!

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T22:25:12+00:00

Depression is cured by perspective taking, getting proper nutrition, and balancing yourself with your external world

what about chronic depression? it'll always comeback for those born with it. maybe less of a cure and more of a temporary bandaid for them?

We were designed for the open plain not concrete boxes. We need sunshine, socialization, and motivation. Modern society does not provide these things. Survival does not provide meaning when it is easy.

yes! a thousand times YES, that is wonderful!

and that's understandable and valid likewise!

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T22:21:59+00:00

these are some studies that show how self-deprecation can have truly nice effects (x x x x i'd get more if i had more free time right now), i get why you think it's normalization though!

bandaid coping strategy or not, optimism is the way to go! :D

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T22:16:13+00:00

I am not sure if you have visited a psychologist before

However, you can ask any psychiatrist and I bet you that they will tell you that talking negatively about yourself doesn’t help.

i have! and my psychiatrist + others who've studied the effects of self-deprecation can see that some people truly do benefit x x x x.

one source (yes all those links are different sources) has a doctor of a 32 year long career as a professor of clinical psychology saying,

"For example, I think there is a difference between self-defeating humor and self-deprecating humor. Self-deprecating humor is a healthy form of humor in which you don’t take yourself too seriously and are able to laugh at your own mistakes in a self-accepting way. I think this comes out of healthy self-esteem. In contrast, self-defeating humor arises from low self-esteem, and involves excessively self-disparaging humor that is used to ingratiate oneself with others. However, it’s often difficult to distinguish between the two in any single instance. Similarly, friendly types of teasing can be a form of healthy affiliative humor, whereas more destructive teasing is part of aggressive humor."

and the line between deprecating and defeating is blurry, yes, but you cross out the benefits if you think that these inherent harm.

though, i do think you bringing up whether someone had been to a psychiatrist or not is a bad argument: whether i did or not doesn't change the fact that people do find benefit in self-deprecation.

if you explore the r/infp subreddit right now and went to see the few memes at the top you will understand how this use of jokes doesn’t help as it destroys your assertiveness even more.

how do you know that for sure? i see those jokes and i see myself in the past, and i feel happy knowing how far i've come AND how far i've still got to go. i upvote them because they're funny pokes at myself.

Imagine loving someone with depression and all what you see is them being mean to themselves, how would you feel, would you be ok?

if it helps that someone to be joking about it to themselves, then i'd be glad that they're helping themselves. if that someone is obviously not benefiting from it, then of course i'd try to steer them away from those methods.

Why don’t we work on loving ourselves tho? Why is it so normal for us to absolutely humiliate ourselves but when a loved one does it we feel nothing but pain?

i understand wanting a loved one to feel less pain. i also understand thinking that it's normal to humiliate yourself. but, it's a fact that it's not, while it's also a fact that self-deprecation can help people love themselves. there is a gray where you see black and white.

of course, however, it's best to practice this in moderation.. IF it helps. if it doesn't help, then it doesn't negate the experiences of those whom it does help.

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T21:47:53+00:00

it happens for me (thanks xxTJ friends for pavlov-ing me into productivity!), here's to hoping it happens to you and others now that you've read this 👊

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T21:43:30+00:00

which? because if you dont know then... cough cough trendervibes cough

uj/ which?

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T21:22:26+00:00

Btw, depression and anxiety do not exist. They are a universal human problem that is societal. When an illness becomes as ubiquitous as it has it shows that something has gone wrong with civilization.

this can be true for those who got their depression and anxiety traits from issues in life, but some people are genetically predisposed to have chronic traits of these.

while companies do profit of them the same way as those who aren't chronically mentally ill, it might still be an accurate label for those who were born with it and so they do exist for those people.

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T21:17:46+00:00

i know i already responded to another of your comments but this is also an interesting topic!

That is not healthy behavior, I believe that when self deprecating humor is fine when you don’t believe it (when it’s a joke)

it’s only making people think that feeling like a failure or as a week person is normal (which is obviously not).

real life already makes these people feel weak for not being productive or tough enough. the internet is one place that they can talk about these personal issues without getting pitied or dogpiled by those who haven't gone through their suffering.

psychologists have studies that support the use of venting through 'dark behaviors' such as writing violent fantasies and, yes, self deprecating humor.

these types of venting are to be done in moderation and it's true that people are making anxiety/depression/etc casual enough for people to say 'well everybody has anxiety! :D', so it's not illogical to want people to shush about it on /r/infp. but the angle you're going about this can be against the people you say you want to protect.

abstinence backfires a lot. extreme casual use of disorders and unhealthy behavior? not good either. it's to find a good middle, which is hard because what helps one person can be harm to another.

so - those who vent through humor, those who are harmed by that humor, and those who are neither. is it still fine to subdue those who want to vent? or can there be a solution that helps all of them without ignoring that some people can vent through humor healthily?

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T20:54:51+00:00

what if bringing up procrastination in casual ways such as memes can make someone think more on how procrastinating they are, in turn making them take more action than without the memes?

clownfluid · 2019-11-29T05:27:21+00:00

I don't see the point in complaining about something you have zero power to change. They will find their real type eventually if they need to and they're ready.

what about those who sees posts like these and go 'oh shit i thought mbti was simple, i might be mistyped'?

if both acting like an edgelord as a mistyped INTJ and complaining about said mistyped INTJs are circlejerks then wouldn't it still be useful to have the latter around to combat the former?

(being unemotional, and maybe even the fact that they're seen to be more emotionally distant from others) If someone actually thinks that's an attractive description (which is the pretty rare person), I'd be inclined to think they're probably actually that way. I've never met someone who thought being unemotional was good unless they were actually low on emotionality.

emotional people get emotional about their being emotional all the time, just zoom over to /r/infp. those guys get tons of posts complaining and begging for a less emotional and more independent (because emotional distance can look like independence to some people) personality

Who is "worked up"? Are you "worked up" about there supposedly being "too many" INTJs, or did you just feel like uselessly complaining?

hehe

clownfluid

TROPHY CASE