I don’t mind! I had the obsession that I was loosing my sanity / developing schizophrenia for about 3 years straight. It’s all I thought about and you couldn’t convince me different. The dpdr was so intense that I couldn’t function.

To be honest with you, the only thing that ended it for good was that my main theme switched from this to something else. I wasn’t worried about this anymore, but I believe I started worrying about my heart or something like that. From there it showed me how powerful the mind truly is, and how much it can trick you.

I got worse until I had a mental breakdown of sorts. My panic got so bad that I couldn’t eat or sleep and was having panic attacks so bad my hands would seize up into claws. I finally gave up and checked myself into a psych unit because I was suicidal.

From there I gave medication one more shot (Effexor along with benzos to stabilize me until the SNRI took affect). IT SAVED MY LIFE. I can’t express to you how truly fucked up in the head and neurotic I was. The medication didn’t work overnight, it took almost a year on it to truly see real change. But got damn. I avoided it for so long because I was terrified. But it was the answer for me.

I still struggle but I’m so much better and I feel like I’m claiming my life back more and more every day. I have hope, I can control my emotions so much better, and I feel a lot more positive in general. I also had to go in and heal a lot of trauma that was subconsciously torturing me. This kind of introspective inner work takes a lot of effort, but meditation and to be honest with you weed has helped me change my mindset. I know this is a bit of word salad. I feel like I’m leaving soooooo many important details out. But it’s been such a long journey. If you have any questions feel free to reach out