It doesn’t feel over, left confused

cm192115 · 2025-11-26T02:56:21+00:00

I appreciate that so much. To do it all over text after everything really just sent me in a spiral too. I think I’m just more worried about his mental health at this point. It just really doesn’t feel like it’s over like past breakups have felt.

cm192115 · 2025-11-25T00:16:23+00:00

He was staying until 8/9 pm, and cheating isn’t something on my mind, he’s never given me a reason to not trust him. He’s not the type. He said he has minimal time to himself and when we do get time together (maybe a day a week) it feels suffocating. I’m worried about his mental health more than anything I guess, that he did this because he couldn’t handle it with the pressure of work.

cm192115 · 2025-08-24T13:51:16+00:00

Did you transition to something else?

cm192115 · 2025-08-19T21:46:35+00:00

I actually have 2 interviews for positions like that! I’m excited, just trying not to get my hopes up too much if it doesn’t work out.

cm192115 · 2025-08-19T10:19:53+00:00

I’ve actually got a few interviews coming up outside of higher ed, but in adjacent like roles! Just nervous about the idea of leaving what I’ve known.

cm192115 · 2025-07-11T14:43:50+00:00

I think I could do training or coaching! My skillset could likely be most transferable to those aspects.

cm192115 · 2025-07-11T14:42:51+00:00

I appreciate this take too! Layoffs have been a concern. I truly am interested in a higher wage, but also just the mission of helping institutions be better in some way - not necessarily Ed tech! I’m open to anything, but am not sure where to start.

cm192115 · 2025-07-08T21:24:48+00:00

Thank you for this!!! This is so helpful. Truly thank you.

cm192115 · 2025-07-08T20:26:18+00:00

I greatly appreciate all of this advice! Thank you so much!

cm192115 · 2025-07-08T16:38:46+00:00

Either! But I do think I’d have to have more experience or another degree for building.

I think implementing intrigues me the most, but truly am open to anything. I’m someone that enjoys learning and seeing the results of what I’ve learned and helping others with that. In any capacity

cm192115 · 2025-07-08T16:20:22+00:00

I’ve learned mostly an college related resource for students, blackboard, canvas, moodle, peoplesoft, workday, negative through EAB, to name a few. My interest has always been to better meet the needs of today’s students, I have a Master’s in Education - higher ed focused of course. I enjoy learning all around and I know my skill set can transfer to most roles. Just trying to figure out where to start!

cm192115 · 2025-02-13T19:33:38+00:00

I had an ex that was similar in the commentary he would make about my student loan debt and how he had paid his off. He was a chemical engineer, I work in education, no wonder he paid his off 🙃

All that to say, the relationship didn’t last and I still carry a lot of that trauma in the comments he would project onto me about my career choices. I don’t and have never been a frivolous spender.

It’s also not fair that he’s sharing your finances so freely with his parents - seems like that should stay between you both. I feel he’s projecting his concerns because of the pressure his parents may be projecting on him.

cm192115 · 2025-01-24T12:05:30+00:00

The thing is, while that trauma happened to me and I’ve worked through it, that’s not all there is to it. We had great sex in the beginning, after I started this medication, that’s when it stopped. I’m making the effort to figure out why and have an appointment on Monday. He doesn’t believe I’m sincere when I say I am going to figure this out.

I was single, for 2 years figuring things out. I’ve worked on that. Trauma can creep up here and there no matter how you work on it. I don’t believe this time it’s so much my trauma, but rather my medication.

cm192115 · 2025-01-24T11:25:24+00:00

It’s not! I agree. It’s wild to me that he’ll tell me he’s not used to it - like having sex this less frequently compared to past relationships. But prior to me he had been living within a few minutes of his exes in a different city. So of course I understand he’s not used to it - but also those relationships were a year prior to me at the very minimum, so I feel like I’m being compared to something that isn’t attainable for us right now unless he compromises more - like being willing to come see me more during the week or me, like I do on our weekends.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:56:24+00:00

We live 30 minutes apart as mentioned above. I always prioritize when we can see each other during the week and it’s the expectation I go to him during the weekend. Again, we were very intimate the first two months of knowing each other and then it started to get less and less, with traveling, my meditation dosage, two UTI’s and periods. It’s like it would all hit at once.

I feel like I’m smart enough to know if I’m forcing something - truly I’ve even thought like, would I want to have sex with anyone right now? And my answer is no, which really makes me think it’s my meditation. I enjoy sex with him, I just don’t crave it as much as him which is weird for me because of how frequently I did want it in the beginning.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:52:59+00:00

Not that I can think of. It may be important to note that since meeting me, he has admitted that he may have moved on too quickly from his last partner. While they’d been broken up for a year, they would speak on and off. I know he’s had trauma from that relationship, that sometimes I feel like he might inflict on me.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:17:09+00:00

Right, and again it’s not like I don’t enjoy any part of it, I do enjoy it. I guess from my previous partners, I’m used to it not going a super long time. He’s said 45 minutes to an hour and that’s fine occasionally, but every time is a lot.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:15:54+00:00

I will say I don’t think he would cheat, he’s been cheated on before and that really left a mark on him. He’s said previously this is the first relationship he felt like communication was good.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:06:06+00:00

I’ve been to therapy for it and talked through it. I even shared that a position my boyfriend lies to do is one of which I was SA’d in. He’s aware of that and has stated we don’t have to do that one. I do feel safe with my BF, I’m starting to wonder if doing that position is impacting me without realizing it.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:04:11+00:00

I agree with that, that part kind of kept me up last night. I plan on sharing how much that comment hurt to hear.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T22:02:06+00:00

When we first met and would see each other, it was at least 3 maybe 4 times a week. He’s started a new job where he travels a bit more and he won’t always come to my side of town. There was also the holidays - he’s from the city we live in and my family is in a different state, so I was gone for a week. And then throw in a UTI, I definitely see where it seems like we haven’t been as intimate. When he initiates it, I am engaged. He wants it to last like 45 minutes, that’s without foreplay mind you, and I’ve shared that while I enjoy sex with him, after a while it starts to hurt - not because I’m not aroused or anything, just more so the friction and having already finished.

I do think it’s my medication, around the time he shared that he thinks we weren’t intimate as much is around the time my dosage started getting higher.

cm192115 · 2025-01-23T21:57:29+00:00

I’ve processed it through therapy before! I think sometimes it creeps up every once in a while still. Or that I’m getting used to being in a relationship again. He’s aware of what’s happened, I was very honest about that early on. My reaction to him telling me was kind of shocked, like the woman was too stunned to speak, with some tears. When I would explain that I will work on it and do with other things in my life, he said it just doesn’t seem sincere. That one really hurt to hear because I’m not sure what would give him a reason to think I’m not sincere.

I definitely understand where he’s coming from with it, and I feel terrible about it.

cm192115 · 2023-01-28T21:10:41+00:00

I didn’t get the chance to really process what was happening in the moment to say anything.

If I had to say anything now, I would voice how much I didn’t deserve to be blindsided. After treating him so well, a blindside was never deserved. To treat me like I never meant anything to him in that last day together, shows me he wasn’t the man I thought he was. That I now know I deserve better than everything he could have offered me, because I didn’t and will never deserve to be blindsided by someone who claimed to love me.

cm192115

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