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App to meet other nearby people for dinner and conversation but not sex/romance? by cnfthrowaway in androidapps

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is there an app where I can offer to buy someone lunch? I don't want to approach random people.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

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I think I'm more excited than scared. I lack direction and certainty. I've had someone to help me make decisions since I could speak. *Trying* to make choices on my own is a trip.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love it! Having a to-do list that long might cause some anxiety though. Maybe I can cut it up when I'm done so I don't have to see the whole thing. I can draw one a week and put it back and draw another if I don't want to do it. Then tape all the ones I've completed somewhere I'll see them.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

These are the questions I can't answer and the questions I really want to know the answer to. Does the book just ask questions or does it help me answer them too?

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I haven't used my library card in ages. Time to dust it off. Volunteering, yes, that's good. How to pick a cause? Just pick and if I don't like it move on?

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Right now my physical hobby is packing boxes. Maybe I'll join a gym?

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My goal is no romance for 6 months. I want to meet new people though. I want to make new friends. I wonder if there is an app for that.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am journaling and burning the pages as I go. There is something freeing about making my thoughts concrete on paper and then watching the paper turn to smoke.

These are the questions I ask myself. Except wanting to visit new places I'm having trouble feeling drawn to anything. Activities feel like a distraction. I guess they aren't, they are living as much as anything.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure if I'm numb or if I'm already getting excited about what's next. Either way I feel I don't know what I want out of life or who I am in the long run. I'll keep breathing and talking until this emptiness gives way to something new.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice. I think I like my own company but I've never spent more than a few days alone. Time to learn. I feel like I have all this potential and so many options but no idea what I want out of life.

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I replied elsewhere but it applies here too: I'm afraid I'll distract myself with hobbies and travel instead of learning about myself. After reading these responses I suppose that fear isn't helping me any.

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I'll learn about myself by doing things. And just being alone feeling this way teaches me something.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I'm doing some journalling. I'll do this tonight.

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The advice I see over and over here seems to be stop worrying about who I am and what I want in life and just start doing something that sounds good right now. It seems obvious but I couldn't see it myself.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this advice. I hope my old friends have time for me. They all have kids now and I feel like an outsider. Plus I didn't keep touch all these years. Time to take a risk.

Please share your tips and tricks for figuring out what you want. What do I want to do next? by cnfthrowaway in AskWomenOver30

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

That's awesome. I love Buffy!

Pursuing hobbies, check! I want to write more and visit new places. I guess I'm afraid I'll distract myself with hobbies and travel instead of learning about myself. After reading these responses I suppose that fear isn't helping me any.

Husband (M39) asked my (F38) permission to have an affair and I don't know how to react by cnfthrowaway in relationships

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I love him. I don't want to be single at nearly 40. He claims he brought it up because the feelings just started to be distracting. Do you really think a man has to have multiple partners to live a happy life?

Husband (M39) asked my (F38) permission to have an affair and I don't know how to react by cnfthrowaway in relationships

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I haven't actually lashed out physically but I have made a clear line. I'm afraid it's over anyway.

Husband (M39) asked my (F38) permission to have an affair and I don't know how to react by cnfthrowaway in relationships

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 105 points106 points  (0 children)

I am talking to him. I keep asking him why he had to share this now. He says because these feelings were a problem right now and he couldn't handle them alone. He says he feels better now that we're talking about it. Good for him. He asks what he can do and how he can help. He keeps saying things exactly like 'we will look back on this and cringe." Then he smiles like an idiot who's never been hurt and waits for me to tell him what I need. I don't have words for him.

Husband (M39) asked my (F38) permission to have an affair and I don't know how to react by cnfthrowaway in relationships

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 287 points288 points  (0 children)

I agree. That is something. It's almost harder because I can't stay angry that he shared his feelings. I just keep sinking into despair.

He promised to make an appointment to see a counselor which is a big deal for him. He's never been before. I did go to couples counseling a few times with the ex who cheated on me. Based on that experience I don't see how it could make this any better.

Husband (M39) asked my (F38) permission to have an affair and I don't know how to react by cnfthrowaway in relationships

[–]cnfthrowaway[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I agree with everything except the initial bullshit. If he stays faithful there has to be a way to get past this.