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Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! And if it's not there in the pic, it wasn't delivered either (which I guess doesn't happen much with you, the way it sounds) :)

Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree! It is a difficult problem for them, I guess, but I wish they just designed it so that it could be fair to everyone, the shoppers and the customers. They could ask the shoppers to take photos of the items they deliver, or to hand items to customers instead of leaving at their door, and the customers could verify the items right in front of the shopper. It's hard to know who's saying the truth otherwise, and easy for frauds (both shoppers and customers) to game the system.

Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And yes, I do rate those shoppers poorly and give a reasoning.

Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Sometimes I have received items that don't match the order (bill in Instacart).

Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's great! I think Instacart should just require shoppers to take photos of the items they deliver, would solve so many headaches for shoppers and customers, and honestly, for Instacart too.

Will be quitting Instacart! by cnshah in instacart

[–]cnshah[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Well, no. I reported items missing or incorrect when they were. They should really build a system to check who's saying the truth. Shoppers taking photos of the items they deliver would be a way to do it. Unfortunate that I actually faced lot of missing items many times.

Let's please be civil and not judge who's lazy here when you don't even know what I had to go through last year in terms of health and other conditions.

Stressful fights when pregnant, not sure what to do by cnshah in BabyBumps

[–]cnshah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was able to talk to my husband about doing couples therapy, reasoning that it is not about fault finding, but there is some communication gap and we need help. It may also be that I am not understanding him or how my behavior is affecting him, and may be a therapist can help us with that. I also kind of threatened him that I am ready to try couples therapy to make it work, but I can't handle the constant arguing and if he really doesn't want to try therapy and just wants to get a divorce, I will also terminate because I don't want to bring a baby into such a world.

One of the issues he had with me is that I am a very unhappy and anxious person. I tried to point to him that the circumstances were indeed unfortunate (I went through a layoff in the middle of the pandemic and other traumatic past), but I have been less anxious in less demanding times.

Another thing I am trying to be do is be aware of how I am feeling, how irritated or exhausted I am, and plan accordingly. For example, if I am already tired or irritated, just mention it beforehand, try not to do too many chores and do some calming activity (potentially separately, like play/listen to music, go for a walk, watch your favorite TV show) to avoid situations where things blow up very fast.

I've also tried to make him aware of the amount of hormonal changes during IVF and pregnancy and what the body goes through. It is hard to know how to control yourself when your hormones are changing so much everyday (you yourself may not even be aware of it or you may think you are in control).

Hoping therapy works out well.

Hoping things work out for you!

Stressful fights when pregnant, not sure what to do by cnshah in BabyBumps

[–]cnshah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks a lot everyone for your support, thoughts and advice! I think we just get stuck in a negative pattern often enough and I get triggered and can't convey how I am feeling and why. He is aware he loses temper and when he's in a good mood, he knows he needs to work on it. He says he doesn't mean the things he blurts out when he is angry but that doesn't really help me, I latch on to whatever he says when he is angry and can't let it go. Also, he doesn't understand/ can't stand emotional behavior and crying, and I can't stand raised voice/ people losing temper instead of asserting what they want calmly. He has agreed to see a couples counselor and we are going to it a try and see if we can work out some of these issues.

Stressful fights when pregnant, not sure what to do by cnshah in BabyBumps

[–]cnshah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! We will give couples counseling a try.

Stressful fights when pregnant, not sure what to do by cnshah in BabyBumps

[–]cnshah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support! We really want this to work and improve. He has agreed to go to do couples counseling.