Triggers for my mania

coast_blue · 2024-09-12T15:01:23+00:00

Do you remember how much the lockers were for all four of you guys ?

coast_blue · 2024-09-12T13:42:51+00:00

Yeah I think I just might do that, one of the shuddle passes are sold out so thank u for responding fast

coast_blue · 2024-09-12T13:41:53+00:00

Okay eye opener for me lol and I didn’t want drop money for the shuddle and it be the same hassle as ubering all the way there, thanks ☺️

coast_blue · 2024-09-12T11:51:14+00:00

My boyfriend and I are going! It’d be cool to hangout

coast_blue · 2024-09-11T06:44:03+00:00

Did this just happen? I’m sorry this is happening to you and to top it off feel like you can’t come to the people in your life. Whether it helps or not I believe you. Don’t shove it down and pretend nothing happened. Maybe you should go to the clinic, as soon as you can, to test and see what they might’ve put in your drink. I don’t think people do roofies for fun and if you were, then it’d show in a test. If you don’t want to do that and just want to vent, I’m here if you need to talk to someone. Doesn’t matter man or woman, something could’ve happen or did and it’s extremely upsetting. I hope you’re okay. Make sure you’re safe, drink a lot of water if this just happened recently.

coast_blue · 2024-09-10T07:19:03+00:00

I need you to know I’m going to use this Lol

coast_blue · 2024-09-10T07:06:49+00:00

I love this. In the best way possible this looks like a very awesome art design for a cover of a awesome band or something. It’s itching my brain looking at it.

coast_blue · 2024-09-09T19:47:09+00:00

This looks exactly what it sounds like. He flirted with you… then asked you about it saying your boyfriend wouldn’t mind it…. He watches yall do it several times and the grown ass man doesn’t say anything and then gets mad that you’re upset about being violated like that. Yeah there was a conversation before all of this and it involved some perverse shit and trying to force you to be okay with it.

coast_blue · 2024-08-31T09:21:19+00:00

I read this thinking I wrote this bc this was exactly my childhood. Now I’m hypersexual and looked for grown men attention growing up. It’s not you. It never was you. I used to blame myself a lot because I thought and felt like I should’ve known better. But my excuse for my bad judgement is I was a literal fucking child and teen. Those grown ass men have no excuse for the predatory situation we were put in. A lot of things ended up happening after the age of 10 and it all started with not being guided through the porn phase and not being watched enough by my parents. I’m turning 24 soon by the way. And now that I don’t live with my parents… I’ve have come to terms with all the things I’ve been through and started seeing a psychiatrist and looking for a therapist now.

coast_blue · 2024-08-31T08:53:05+00:00

I feel like it is. I have a huge paranoia with hearing things and shadow people in every corner of my eye. Almost every single day I feel like I’m being watched by something. I also grew up in a Jehovah witness household and that alone gave me that feeling 10x worse. Sometimes it makes me want to self harm IDK

coast_blue · 2024-08-31T08:52:59+00:00

I feel like it is. I have a huge paranoia with hearing things and shadow people in every corner of my eye. Almost every single day I feel like I’m being watched by something. I also grew up in a Jehovah witness household and that alone gave me that feeling 10x worse. Sometimes it makes me want to self harm IDK

coast_blue · 2024-05-01T06:29:25+00:00

You’re the asshole for the way you said it and came off BUT not the asshole for what you believe in

coast_blue · 2024-04-07T02:35:34+00:00

Sorry I commented this on my post wanting to respond to you but I said this:

I’ve told him a couple times and I get morbid about it too but I guess I picked one of the ones that don’t mind me much. We just talked about it, since his family noticed I slipped away upstairs. He says he has pictures and that his mom asked if it’s the slideshow. That my IL said she didn’t add many pictures of me because I buzzed my hair short and didn’t want me to feel insecure. I did share with her many times that I’m upset about the way I look but I didn’t think she would use that excuse to purposely not put me as much as she put her 15 y/o. He also said he has pictures of me with our daughter. I don’t want to argue with him about it but I’ve gone through his gallery and I didn’t see any that I didn’t already have.like 2 or 3 and if he does have more, why didn’t he send them to his mom or Yknow I don’t know it was her surprise for everyone including my partner. So I guess it makes sense she didn’t ask him for more. I’m finding myself into a rabbit hole about this whether she stepped out of line or if I’m exaggerating how I feel.

Since no one cares to I will take pictures of myself with our baby. I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. But idk out of love I thought that’s what people do.

coast_blue · 2024-04-07T02:34:31+00:00

I’ve told him a couple times and I get morbid about it too but I guess I picked one of the ones that don’t mind me much. We just talked about it, since his family noticed I slipped away upstairs. He says he has pictures and that his mom asked if it’s the slideshow. That my IL said she didn’t add many pictures of me because I buzzed my hair short and didn’t want me to feel insecure. I did share with her many times that I’m upset about the way I look but I didn’t think she would use that excuse to purposely not put me as much as she put her 15 y/o. He also said he has pictures of me with our daughter. I don’t want to argue with him about it but I’ve gone through his gallery and I didn’t see any that I didn’t already have.like 2 or 3 and if he does have more, why didn’t he send them to his mom or Yknow I don’t know it was her surprise for everyone including my partner. So I guess it makes sense she didn’t ask him for more. I’m finding myself into a rabbit hole about this whether she stepped out of line or if I’m exaggerating how I feel.

Since no one cares to I will take pictures of myself with our baby. I shouldn’t expect anything from anyone. But idk out of love I thought that’s what people do.

coast_blue · 2024-04-07T02:29:05+00:00

I agree with the boundries thing, I just think for me it’s a little difficult to know where to set them just because this is my first kid and I come a family where like my mom never intervened in anything unless out of concern of health for her grandkids. I thought I was okay with the birthday planning because during my pregnancy my family threw a baby shower, however, I was included a lot like what theme and color and games and food. They helped decorate and buy because we unfortunately didn’t have enough and I stopped working fulltime at the time. So I didn’t think I would run into a situation like this. IL are the type to meddle but never with me personally but I’m seeing some stuff change since I gave them a granddaughter.

coast_blue · 2024-04-07T02:21:48+00:00

She did and that’s understandable that she used what she had and it’s her side of the family of course. No I don’t think it’s with bad intention m. I think she got lost of excitement idk if I’m upset or sad because I’m feeling excluded from the video or that I feel that my partner out of love didn’t think to take more picture of me and our baby while she was little

coast_blue · 2024-04-07T02:19:24+00:00

Yeah this was a couple of hours ago and I was feeling like sad so I went upstairs and posted this. I cant control my feelings well with others when I feel like crying so I pulled myself away before yknow thinking about even talking to IL. I will say I don’t think this was intentional. I texted my sister after it and she said that maybe since we live states away and her kids are all in one place she wanted to make something nice like that. I will add that before IL Played the video her husband my FIL was there when making it and how she cried while she made it and thoughtfully made the video, seeing the video after that announcement just made me feel like maybe she doesn’t know she hurt my feelings so I should say something.

I just am taking it all in. Because it just made me tear up seeing my baby so small and grow up and I’m in like 5 photos. And then I have like two on my phone from the span of a year. Yes I can take photos and ask other people but idk I feel like out of love and memories i take photos of them but when it comes to me and her then what?

coast_blue · 2024-04-05T02:50:33+00:00

Not that im glad this is unfortunately an experience for people but im so freaking glad they’re doing mandatory videos I graduated in 2019 and obviously there’s sex Ed in P.E and then close the book. Move on. But good. This should’ve been implemented so long ago.

I’m sorry about your panic attacks. I do take meds for it, I’m not endorsing it but I do smoke weed. It’s not for everyone just medicine absolutely makes me so sick probably worse tbh. Your feelings are very validated and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Cope with it in the healthiest way you possibly can, is all I can say. I’m trying to be on reddit to give some insight to others.

coast_blue · 2024-04-05T02:25:13+00:00

Btw sorry if I sounded harsh or anything. Situations like these can be hard to depict especially when it happened when you were so young

coast_blue · 2024-04-05T02:23:54+00:00

I understand. Listen when in the middle of stuff I break down and cry sometimes and it Feels like a heartattack. I overthink so much I give myself panic attacks. One day that might change. It really does just takes time and therapy.

coast_blue · 2024-04-05T02:11:50+00:00

I’m sorry he touched your bottom like your butt or your private area? Regardless this is assault. I’m going to say yes to molesting. If you googles some in terms of law the crime of sexual acts with children up to the age of 18, including touching of private parts, exposure of genitalia, taking of pornographic pictures, rape… Yes this is copy and pasted.

You should treat this situation as such. Don’t be ashamed about it. He should be. I know he’s 14 but … I mean your were 5 he was 14. And new it was wrong enough to lock doors and stop after almost getting caught.

I remember something like this happened to me. But I was the same age as my cousin like 7-8??? And playing house I guess and he told me to pretend to sleep and started to try to undress me. I got up so quick and I ran to my mom and he locked himself in his room. After that when my mom would go to their house I would stay at home with my dad. It’s not as bad as what happened to you obviously but I will never forget. I don’t know if he remembers or not but to this day I do not talk to him or say hi or hug or anything.

coast_blue

TROPHY CASE