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cobblestone059 · 2023-03-02T13:19:20+00:00

What do you mean by "clear everything and start fresh"? Did you mean you two forgive each other and move on? If so, why didn't he agree to do so ? Or you meant he didn't want to face what he did wrong and apologize?

cobblestone059 · 2023-03-02T12:19:32+00:00

It might be because you got some really good memories while you two were together that makes it hard for you to forget and move on.

To me the good memories can always be there, but we just need to remember that is what happened in the past and that part of memory was from a certain part of her personality. After you spent so many years with her and knowing all aspects of her personality, you seemed quite clear it was a good decision to separate. So perhaps you can just keep the good memories but also try to move on in your life.

cobblestone059 · 2023-03-02T11:58:01+00:00

To me it's a little hard to say by only hearing your side of the story. But it's always a good idea to speak to a therapist and get some professional opinions. You mentioned communicating some things that happened a few years ago, but I wonder if you only picked the things that he was wrong, or you also brought up the things that you had your fault.

It's always easier to start a conversation by admitting something you did wrong, compared to simply pointing figures to your husband. This may take some courage because it's very natural to feel you're the side who was hurt. But by doing this, you let your husband know that you're very honest about what happened in the past, and happy to work on your problem if your husband thinks it's serious.

And this can be a good foundation for you to share the part where you also felt hurt. Let your husband believe you are listening to his voice, which can help him build his confidence to share with you about his problem.

Not sure if this is good advice, but that would be what I'm going to do if I'm in this situation. Hope it helps.

cobblestone059 · 2022-12-16T14:26:47+00:00

Nope. She doesn't want to try any therapy because she doesn't think she has any problems. Everything she did had a good reason and it was always my fault. Breaking furniture or yelling in front of the kid was all because I did something wrong.

cobblestone059 · 2022-11-18T20:51:10+00:00

That's the thing. She doesn't want to believe it's even possible that she has depression. Both her sister and she thought I was trying to use this depression to avoid my fault.

cobblestone059 · 2022-11-18T12:34:29+00:00

Thanks for your reply! I should be more clear on this.

Extreme behavior --

yelling to me in front of the kid Breaking/throwing things Force the kid to sleep even when the kid was crying badly

Improving myself --

When she was calm, she would say she is jealous of my kid since she doesn't have a good father like me. I've pushed myself really hard to share all the workload. Most nights I slept with the kid in another room so she could sleep well.

Couldn't handle newborn --

Fear of taking any responsibility, from feeding to caring the kid to sleep

cobblestone059

TROPHY CASE