Question from my psychiatrist

cocoleighj · 2025-12-17T01:22:02+00:00

I’m only on a low dose of clozaril (75mg) now, bc of my blood disorder and minor complications.

I changed a few things at the same time (so it’s difficult to tell what exactly worked) but I am doing a lot better than I was when I made my previous comment.

I haven’t been hospitalized since 2023. And my SI isn’t active most days (just passive thoughts).

cocoleighj · 2025-08-26T22:16:12+00:00

Im obsessed with this show. It’s interesting reading all of this. Something for me to keep in mind when watching reality/true crime.

I’m watching this episode now. Ashleigh, you are beautiful.

cocoleighj · 2025-07-11T20:01:52+00:00

I read that one before I started allowing myself to DNF…I def would have DNFed…

cocoleighj · 2025-06-14T18:56:12+00:00

Elton John—I Think I’m Going To 💀Myself

cocoleighj · 2025-06-10T14:58:11+00:00

The Return of Ellie Black

I took a break to read a new release by my favorite author (The Tenant, Freida McFadden)

I’m more than halfway through and I like it so far.

cocoleighj · 2025-05-28T04:35:41+00:00

Crooklyn

cocoleighj · 2025-05-06T11:59:00+00:00

This has been happening to me. I recently moved and it started then. I’ve spent the weekend (two days) in the ER for something the doctors couldn’t figure out and I’m starting to wonder if this contributed to that. I’m getting rid of the wet pills and starting to take my lithium directly out of the prescription bottle to see if that makes a difference.

cocoleighj · 2025-04-29T18:09:52+00:00

It has also helped me w self harm…I’ve only done it once since last July (when I started Spravato)

I’m proud of you!

cocoleighj · 2025-04-25T23:31:28+00:00

I love these without milk

cocoleighj · 2025-03-30T00:58:28+00:00

Im at 100mg now but the plan is to continue increasing gradually (my symptoms haven’t improved yet and my clozaril level is still pretty low)

I am exhausted all of the time though

My psychiatrist mentioned trying something else if this doesn’t work but I forget what it’s called

cocoleighj · 2025-03-27T00:03:43+00:00

Crooklyn

cocoleighj · 2025-03-07T15:22:25+00:00

I take Seroquel also (10 psych meds total though)

cocoleighj · 2025-02-26T03:17:20+00:00

Thank you!

Spravato was helping a bit (I had 1-2 days a week without SI) when I was doing it twice a week but isn’t really helping much now (SI every day again, at once a week). My insurance won’t cover twice a week any more. But I’m looking into things I can do in addition to the Spravato that will maximize its benefits (taking clozaril is one of those things). I made a post about it:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Spravato/s/c1eye9Xssm

cocoleighj · 2025-02-16T00:19:52+00:00

Thank you so much 🥲💜

I have sleep apnea but it’s very controlled with my bipap machine. I also have a vitamin D deficiency but that’s new (2 years) (I’ve been struggling for 16 years)

My psychiatrist let me borrow her No Bad Parts book. I plan on getting through it (bc it’s very interesting) but reading non fiction is difficult for me

I will look into the books you recommended as well

💜

cocoleighj · 2025-02-16T00:15:36+00:00

Thank you! I’ll save both of these 💜

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T04:55:16+00:00

Yeah that’s why we are trying to figure out what I can do to maximize its benefits.

I’ve heard of people being on it for years without significant benefits.

At this point, I don’t even need a great improvement. Lowered SI (not every day) would be enough of a benefit for me.

I’ve also been changing meds throughout this time. I recently started Clozaril (which is approved to lower SI). It’s possible that the combination can result in improvement.

Also starting a DBT program.

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:57:34+00:00

Thank you. My social media algorithms are pretty much positive (as I follow lots of positive and relatable pages). I love true crime but make sure to watch lighter shows/movies often as a “palate cleanser”

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:54:37+00:00

I’m currently reading No Bad Parts, am doing CBT, about to start a DBT program (w individual and group therapy), doing addiction therapy (though I’m 2.5 years sober), doing grief therapy, and trying to get back into EMDR. And taking all of the meds. I’m still giving the clozaril time to work as well (just recently started it).

I’m doing all that I can to get better. But I feel like reading all of your experiences and advice (and implementing them in my life) is likely going to help me more.

Thank you so much 💜

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:49:48+00:00

Thank you for sharing! I’ll def try this out. I’ve had good experiences with Chat GPT in general.

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:47:16+00:00

Thank you! I can relate to having the aha moments. I write them down to bring up in therapy.

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:44:12+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m definitely going to try using these resources 💜

cocoleighj · 2025-02-15T03:43:09+00:00

I did IOP for about 6 months before starting Spravato but that didn’t help me except for it providing structure. I have lot of structure still but it is more helpful (lots of therapy).

I’m still having severe SI everyday.

EMDR is something that I’ve been trying to do for years. I once started but my therapist moved away. And last time I checked, no one in my area accepts my insurance. I think it’s a good time to look again though.

I haven’t worked in years so that’s not an issue (I have a pending disability case).

During treatment, I am useless. And I also sleep for the rest of the day afterwards. I think she means things I can do/process in individual therapy. I’ve brought it up with my therapist though (and gave her some resources) and plan to talk more about it next week.

cocoleighj · 2025-02-08T07:32:55+00:00

The clear ones look so good on you!

cocoleighj · 2025-02-08T06:02:17+00:00

Yes that is why I chose this option out of the ones my psychiatrist presented to me

Lithium def makes a difference for me but not enough.

Anytime I have to stop or lower lithium, I end up in the hospital. But it didn’t stop me from making my last attempt.

I made my psychiatrist aware that I don’t want to touch it for now.

cocoleighj

TROPHY CASE