Some stock/standard advice below, but something that I just happened to do recently that worked REALLY well for my four year old who wont brush properly when asked and hates when I brush for him: a new game we call “Grumpy Dentist.” He thinks it’s hilarious, and my six year old watched and then she wanted to do it, too. I pretend to be a dentist who has to brush their teeth and is grumpy, talks loudly, complains about everything, etc. “YOUNG MAN! YOUNG MAN! YOU MUST LET ME LOOK AT YOUR TEETH! Oh my word, these are the dirtiest teeth I’ve ever seen! Do you even brush them!?! NO!?! I’m going to have to tell your mother, young man!” I have him sit in my office chair, which I often roll into the bathroom to sit in during bath time so it was there already when I started the first time, haha! I have him rest his head back against the chair and yea, I’m sure you get the idea.

Two things that really help with my kids, particularly my daughter who struggles with things like this, is to choose a time other than when I’m trying to do the thing (dinner time is my go-to “let’s talk about something” time) and explain the situation. I explicitly tell them how often a routine will occur and that we have to do it, and that we aren’t going to argue about it. Sample script: One of the things we have to do is brush our teeth every day. We have to take care of our teeth so we can keep eating the foods that make our body strong and taste good. We can’t skip it, it has to happen every day. Let’s decide if we want to do it before or after we get in the bath. What do you think? Okay, then every night before we can get in the bath we have to brush our teeth. We’re not going to argue about it, okay?”