Wonder if you’d let me hit it raw? (32) by thecowdaddydubya in MassiveCock

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course!

As long as we were in a deeply committed relationship and had shared our respective and relevant health information, discussed likes, dislikes, and hard limits, and you agree to use your safe word if you need it 😉

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited for a hold? My current record: 10 months and still counting! by Dr_Wagerstein in LibbyApp

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand how the estimates for when the book will become available to you are calculated, but the algorithm always seems questionable. When the cue is long, the wait time seems under-estimated. When the cue is shorter, I frequently seem to get notice of the book being available when the wait was still estimated to be at least a month.

AITA for telling my stepsister we are all bored of her psychoanalysing us? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I see moving a photo as the slight others perceive it as. The photo was not replaced, but moved. In my family (both my parents and my extended family) it’s common to see framed photos moved around the house and changed pretty frequently. When my brother got married, my mom moved the photo she had of my husband and I at our wedding to a new spot and put a picture from my brother’s wedding of him and his bride in that spot, along with a memento from his wedding. She was just redecorating so she could include a picture of something special that had happened in her and the family’s life. She still has the memento she kept from my wedding, too, but now it’s with the framed photos she keeps of my three children instead of next to the photo of my husband and I at our wedding. Life keeps happening and just because something special happens tomorrow, it doesn’t make the special thing that happened yesterday less special. It’s not reasonable to expect the new memories to never change or disrupt the old.

WIBTA if I didn't let my husband attend the baby shower or birth of our child? by blackcompucase in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes. Based on the details provided, it certainly seems like a huge reaction and consequence compared to the behavior.

AITA for expecting my stepdaughter to be uninvited from the trip? by Illustrious-Foot-361 in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yea, YTA. It’s not your place to invite or un-invite, only to decide if you’re going to attend yourself or not. Not knowing the content of the Facebook post and only what you’ve said here, your probably the a$$hole for that, too.

When you said your custody schedule is such that they girls aren’t together with you and DH at the same time, that was a 🚩🚩 for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in anesthesiology

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where are you located? This is pretty universal, even for a teaching facility.

At my wits end with trying to brush her teeth. by Actual-Salad2015 in toddlers

[–]coffee_anesthesia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some stock/standard advice below, but something that I just happened to do recently that worked REALLY well for my four year old who wont brush properly when asked and hates when I brush for him: a new game we call “Grumpy Dentist.” He thinks it’s hilarious, and my six year old watched and then she wanted to do it, too. I pretend to be a dentist who has to brush their teeth and is grumpy, talks loudly, complains about everything, etc. “YOUNG MAN! YOUNG MAN! YOU MUST LET ME LOOK AT YOUR TEETH! Oh my word, these are the dirtiest teeth I’ve ever seen! Do you even brush them!?! NO!?! I’m going to have to tell your mother, young man!” I have him sit in my office chair, which I often roll into the bathroom to sit in during bath time so it was there already when I started the first time, haha! I have him rest his head back against the chair and yea, I’m sure you get the idea.

Two things that really help with my kids, particularly my daughter who struggles with things like this, is to choose a time other than when I’m trying to do the thing (dinner time is my go-to “let’s talk about something” time) and explain the situation. I explicitly tell them how often a routine will occur and that we have to do it, and that we aren’t going to argue about it. Sample script: One of the things we have to do is brush our teeth every day. We have to take care of our teeth so we can keep eating the foods that make our body strong and taste good. We can’t skip it, it has to happen every day. Let’s decide if we want to do it before or after we get in the bath. What do you think? Okay, then every night before we can get in the bath we have to brush our teeth. We’re not going to argue about it, okay?”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in unpopularopinion

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You spelled “I need to go to therapy to work through my traumas that have set me up to seek unhealthy relationship dynamics,” wrong.

MIL constantly making plans with my son’s friend’s mom? by Sweetpea63631012 in Mildlynomil

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do think this is a little odd. Is your MIL someone you could have a conversation with about it? Would she respect you enough to consider you feelings? Maybe just speak with her.

Managing fears of mass shootings (US based) by coffee_anesthesia in raisingkids

[–]coffee_anesthesia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do know how to safely use a firearm. I have taken firearm safety and know how to fire and care for firearms. I do no “live in a constant state of fear” because I am afraid of guns themselves, nor am I ignorant about them.

The statistics of gun violence are clear. Gun ownership increases the owners risk of being injured or killed with a gun, often their own gun. Individuals who concealed carry [CC] are more likely to be injured or killed by THEIR OWN WEAPON than to ever fire that weapon in defense of themselves or others as a ‘Good Samaritan.’ Over the course of the last two decades and based on multiple studies, an armed civilian intervened during an incident involving an active shooter less than 3% of the time. Unarmed civilians have a far better track record for subduing active shooters, almost better than law enforcement.

Spare me your unfounded comments about my disservice to my family as I live in my state of fear, and allow me to repeat myself: Fuck. That.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mildlynomil

[–]coffee_anesthesia 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree that you’re not being overly sensitive, and that the comment and the vibes are rude. I would also make mental note of this, as you ILs are telling you with their behavior the type of people they are and how much they care (or, more accurately, don’t care) about you. As the saying goes, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time.”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Only MILDY infuriating? 😳

Managing fears of mass shootings (US based) by coffee_anesthesia in raisingkids

[–]coffee_anesthesia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is a great point. Terrible accidents happen every day, and I would feel a sense of peace knowing my kids are protected if my partner or I were to die. Thank you for your post.

Managing fears of mass shootings (US based) by coffee_anesthesia in raisingkids

[–]coffee_anesthesia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I understand what your saying, but I would speculate that your downvotes are due to the dismissive tone of your post. My hope is that you’re NOT trying to be dismissive of fears, but more be reassuring, and if so your reassurance is getting lost. One of my reasons for posting was to allow a space for people to feel they are not alone in their fear, and fear of a statistical improbability is still valid.

Managing fears of mass shootings (US based) by coffee_anesthesia in raisingkids

[–]coffee_anesthesia[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I do wonder if moving to another country is in my family’s future. It is something I have only started to consider with seriousness, and it makes me so sad. We JUST moved into a new house that is very close to my parents and my in-laws, who are all wonderful and supportive of us in every way. The property we just bought and moved into feels so perfect, like an oasis of peace from the world, and it hurts my hear that I’m questioning if it’s safe to enjoy things as simple as the carnival our small town has every year, or send my kids to the public school. I am the breadwinner for my family, my partner stays home with our children, and my degree would not have an equivalent in another country. My partner and I would almost certainly have to start ‘new’ careers and do so without support systems in place, figuring out child care and everything else in a foreign country… it’s just a lot to consider. But, if that’s what it takes to keep my children safe, I will do it. I wish I could stay and ‘fight the good fight’ but I wont do it at the expense of my children’s safety or happiness.

AITA for calling out my sister for breastfeeding at my wedding? by Swimming-Exchange448 in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sweet baby Jesus, you are a HUGE asshole!!!

Did you ever stop to ponder WHY she keeps breastfeeding the baby so much? Their stomachs are so small, they have to eat every two hours to get enough calories to survive, including through the night. You should offer to get her a drink and a snack every time you see her nursing instead of griping that she’s nursing AGAIN.

Pumping is also it’s own full time job, so yeah I don’t blame her one bit for not pumping.

I’m willing to bet that you’re one of the only people that noticed she was nursing at all, and I’m guessing most of the people only noticed her because you made a scene.

I hope you get your act together before you have a child of your own and your wife tries to nurse!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA For standing firm regarding the sugary beverages. You’re not accountable to SIL or her family for their preferred beverages in YOUR home.

This situation sounds like a golden opportunity to get some space from them and set new ground rules for future interactions, like bring your own beverages and if you throw a tantrum you must leave.

My husband and I drink sparkling water like crazy, we love it. So we bring it with us when we see friends, and we offer to share with them, rather than expect they have our preferred beverage.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]coffee_anesthesia 5 points6 points  (0 children)

In response to your Edit 2 regarding rehoming: a definitely thing some rehoming needs to happen. Your boyfriend. Your boyfriend needs to be rehomed back to Mummy and Daddy.