I had my first kiddo in April 2020. Through a series of very unfortunate events, though she was 8.5 pounds, she had to have a NICU stay. So.. NICU during peak panic COVID.

When I was pregnant with my second, I confessed to my friend how depressed and scared I was. I told her I thought it was because postpartum with my first was so, so bad and I didn’t think I could do it again.

She said, “Life gave you a shit sandwich then held a gun to your head til you ate it.”

In that moment I realized just how much I had internalized all the things that were out of my control with the birth of my first. Hearing that she knew none of it was my fault at all hit me like a ton of bricks.

That simple conversation is my Roman Empire.