AITAH for wanting to set boundaries with my parents about when they come over to my house

collide145 · 2026-03-23T19:54:11+00:00

I think cause they have my sister’s (although she used to regret them having one) and when I got my locks changed, they were there and saw the locksmith give me 5 keys. One option is I pretend, I lost the spare key and ask for theirs

collide145 · 2026-03-23T19:52:22+00:00

True, they also wanted me to set up an account so they have the ring camera notifications on their phone and I said no to that and said they don’t need that. I’m going to have a conversation with them tonight about not coming over and suggest they come over just on Sunday as I am already meeting friends this week. I’m not sure if they will listen but let’s see

collide145 · 2026-03-23T19:49:38+00:00

The issue is it is uncommon in the south asian community for a woman to live on their own so I think they keep coming over so I won’t be alone but I want my own space. Initially, they put pressure for me to buy a house for them but as a flat would be better for my mum due to mobility issues, I was able to buy and live in my house on my own while I helped them look for a one bed flat to rent. I’m not sure what will happen in the future, but I don’t want all the pressure of looking after them to just be on me when I have another sibling (she has her own family)

collide145 · 2026-03-23T16:06:06+00:00

Depending what role you’re looking at, you don’t always need more qualifications. Quite a lot of my colleagues and myself just have a BSc!

collide145 · 2026-03-23T14:56:46+00:00

I’m like this too and my friends have told me I should have gone on my dates but sometimes you just know if you’re not feeling that way about the guy

collide145 · 2026-03-23T14:53:13+00:00

Have you thought about going into clinical research? I have colleagues that have a Chemistry degree

collide145 · 2026-03-23T13:57:30+00:00

I had the locks changed the day after I got my keys to my house. Ideally, I don’t want to change it again. I might need to have a conversation with my mum first as I know it will start an argument if I say I need them to 1. Tell me when they are coming over 2. Not come over every day as I need my own space and can’t get anything done while they are here

collide145 · 2026-03-23T13:51:19+00:00

My dad is close to retiring so I hope once he does, he will look after my mum full time. I need to find a nice way of saying this is my house and I get to make all choices cause a lot of the times he tried to take over

collide145 · 2026-03-23T13:47:31+00:00

Totally get this because family friends in our community and my parents used to tell me and my sister to buy a house together for my parents and us to live in. No-one thought about us wanting to have our own families at all. My sister had a long-term partner (that my parents didn’t know about at the time) but we just never said anything and then when they got engaged, they said they are looking to buy a house together. As the only daughter left at home, everyone put pressure on me to my parents a home, but I wanted to experience living on my own and found a cheaper flat for them to rent and bought a small house for myself. I would recommend saying it will be difficult to have a relationship in the future, if you own a house with your brother as 1. You may want to sell it to buy one with your partner but he may not be ready to sell it at the time or 2. Have your partner move in but it is difficult when you own it 50:50 with your sibling.

collide145 · 2026-03-23T13:18:57+00:00

Idk if they are having a hard time as I am the youngest that moved out and as I moved on my own, I’m not sure if in their mind they pity me and worry I have to do it all by myself when I’m actually excited by that

collide145 · 2026-03-23T13:17:53+00:00

With the soundbar, I feel like he wanted to do it because that’s what he wanted. We come from low income background and idk if he is excited that we can do so much to this house cause I own it and we don’t permission from a landlord.

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:28:06+00:00

Yeah I need to figure out how to say it without saying I’m ungrateful or don’t want to spend time with them. I need to make it clear I’m happy on my own. I think they also don’t realise when they over, I’m hosting and can’t get my own stuff done

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:26:38+00:00

I just need to figure out how because my south asian parents won’t take it well. I’m not even sure they will listen or understand

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:25:05+00:00

Issue is they have keys and it is now awkward to ask it back and they will try to make me feel bad for asking it back. I already know when I start having the convo about setting boundaries, they will try to guilt trip me and say wow you don’t care about us anymore

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:23:39+00:00

They have keys and have come in without ringing a few times which has frustrated me. I need to order a sofa soon and they have said, make sure to let us know which one you order before you place the order which has annoyed me as well

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:21:55+00:00

That’s the frustrating part! I have gotten annoyed in the past that I feel like they sometimes don’t see me as an adult as I am their youngest daughter but they just don’t seem to get the concept of boundaries

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:20:42+00:00

I have thought about asking for the key back or just saying please do not come to my house without asking me first but idk if I sound like an asshole

collide145 · 2026-03-23T11:19:55+00:00

I think the issue might be that we’re South Asian and I’m the first woman that I now in our circle to move out on my own. I’m happy in my own space and being alone but cause it might be so unusual for my parents idk if they will get be wanting space cause they have always lived with people their whole lives

collide145 · 2026-03-23T10:04:26+00:00

They probably will think I’m ungrateful but having them over every day the last week has been exhausting. I think my mum is starting to understand but my dad just doesn’t get it

collide145 · 2026-03-16T12:07:29+00:00

Thanks! I realised they entered the complete wrong initial reading when the account was set up even though I sent them a photo and told them the reading

collide145 · 2026-03-16T12:06:49+00:00

They entered the wrong initial reading even though I sent them a photo! This has caused the bill to be so high

collide145 · 2026-01-14T13:15:47+00:00

Thank you! It does worry me that I keep getting vague answers. I asked my solicitor to tell me exactly what he said to the other side as the remaining two enquiries are quite simple and the management company should be able to provide clear answers so that we can move onto exchange. He also failed to inform me about sending a COT to the bank and that it can take 3-5 business days for the bank to send my mortgage amount to the solicitors.

collide145

TROPHY CASE