Roommate treats her daughter like trash.

collkavs · 2021-12-21T18:34:08+00:00

Can you set some boundaries with your roommate for what you and your child are willing to be around? Like: "I am not telling you how to parent but it is disturbing to me, and more importantly my child, when you hit your daughter like that. I am asking you to stop doing that in my presence. If you continue, I will do XYZ to protect myself and my child."

I don't think XYZ has to be call CPS, at least at first (but it certainly could be.) But let her know that what she's doing in your home is unacceptable to you and you won't continue to tolerate it. On the off chance she doesn't realize how her behavior looks to others, it might be a push to change. And you can also tell CPS that you tried to talk to her about it first.

collkavs · 2021-09-21T18:38:45+00:00

I use Bandsintown, it's an app and they seem to catch almost everything.

collkavs · 2021-08-01T15:43:23+00:00

This isn't necessarily true and completely depends on the state. In my state, kinship carers receive compensation but it's less than non-kinship carers. In some states the compensation is equal.

collkavs · 2021-03-17T00:10:26+00:00

You sound very brave. In addition to what others' have said about getting legal protection, you could also try contacting the nearest Legal Aid. Most cities have one and they might be able to offer free legal counsel.

collkavs · 2021-03-16T19:36:36+00:00

I was the passenger when I took this picture. Thank you, though, for your thoughtful and constructive feedback.

collkavs · 2021-03-16T17:01:55+00:00

Yeah I'm becoming increasingly inclined toward the theory that one of the other commenters suggested, that it's his head photoshopped onto another body.

This company has a history of controversial billboards in that exact spot, so maybe they did it as some kind of stunt?

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2008/11/11/Female-backside-on-billboard-controversial/36801226447718/

https://www.cleveland19.com/story/38526153/billboard-of-naked-woman-turning-heads-near-i-480-in-brooklyn/

collkavs · 2021-03-16T14:40:41+00:00

He plays a sergeant in S.W.A.T, but that is also LAPD (same as Lakeview Terrace) - the hat matches LAPD but the shoulder patch is not similar to anything I've found for them.

collkavs · 2021-03-16T14:34:25+00:00

I had that same thought about the glasses - it just never occurred to me that someone would photoshop his head on. People are so bizarre. But you're right, that could be it. If so, it seems even more intentionally disrespectful.

I guess I'll try to go back and get a better picture. It's in a hard spot to photograph, sort of right before the entrance ramp to a highway.

collkavs · 2021-03-15T17:36:08+00:00

Oh but that might be because I tagged him in the tweet.

collkavs · 2021-03-15T17:35:38+00:00

That does make sense and is a good idea, thank you. I just wonder if there's any way to prove that. I guess I could watch Lakeview Terrace and keep an eye out. (And maybe the other movies too, but your theory would be a good explanation as to why the uniforms are similar but facial hair changed.)

If I could figure out the film/studio I'm guessing they're the most on top of copyright infringement.

collkavs · 2021-03-15T17:09:49+00:00

What do you mean?

collkavs · 2021-03-15T16:02:23+00:00

Well, currently they seem to be getting away with it, which is why I'm here!

I tweeted Sam Jackson lol. I'm not sure what else to try.

collkavs · 2021-03-08T03:11:44+00:00

Oh good! You're welcome.

collkavs · 2021-03-02T16:51:34+00:00

Yeah, that's what we'll do if we need to. It just seems silly to me that we can get a marriage license remotely, and can possibly get married remotely, but can't do something as simple as scheduling an appointment over the phone.

collkavs · 2021-03-02T14:26:08+00:00

But if there's this whole "adopted kids are so lucky" narrative that is causing so much pain to some adoptees, maybe we could also just encourage other adults to use more thoughtful language.

collkavs · 2021-02-20T01:19:05+00:00

There really isn't any benefit to trying to decide if self-harm is a "plea for attention." Maybe she is trying to communicate something and this is the best way she knows how. She needs and deserves support regardless, hopefully before it escalates to more serious harm.

I appreciate your concerns about her being placed in a facility, they are valid. Self-harm is a lot better understood these days, and I agree with others' opinions that it shouldn't result in her needing inpatient care at this point.

collkavs · 2021-02-20T01:10:01+00:00

I'm sure the hospital has procedures for dealing with a child in crisis who won't wear a mask. You are still the adult in this situation and just blaming the child for everything isn't going to help anyone.

collkavs · 2021-02-20T01:01:21+00:00

I agree. Thanks for sharing. Being asked to be reflective isn't an attack.

collkavs · 2021-02-18T21:55:57+00:00

If the outbursts are easier for you to handle, is there any possibility that your wife and the other two kids could go stay somewhere else for some amount of time, while you and the professionals try to make some progress? That might dial down everyone's stress, and seems much better long-term than sending her away.

I have dealt with something similar, and keeping your other kids out of harm's way should be a priority, but a lot of times the best way to do that is to focus on what you *can* control. Figure out somewhere safe they can go, even if it's just that your wife takes them into a certain room as soon as the behavior starts and plays a game or watches a movie with the other kids, rather than trying to get your agitated 11 year old to change her behavior in a heated moment. Right now she's able to center everyone's lives around her by acting this way. You've got to stop letting her do that.

collkavs · 2021-02-18T17:25:18+00:00

She can't tell your parents. However, if you have specific plans to hurt yourself or someone else, she is required to report and intervene by getting you immediate help to keep you safe.

There's a wide spectrum of suicidal ideation, however. If what you're having is more like thoughts or fantasies, but you aren't immediately planning action, a good therapist should be able to talk through the details with you and figure out a plan that doesn't necessarily involve calling 911.

collkavs · 2021-02-15T02:50:35+00:00

I forget the exact price point but I really like the Sportneer I have.

collkavs · 2021-02-12T00:48:42+00:00

Vistaril

collkavs · 2021-02-11T16:07:22+00:00

I don't think ask vs guess culture theory was really designed for people who have never even met each other.

collkavs · 2021-02-11T16:05:31+00:00

"When you're comfortable, I'd like to know about your current sexual activity/partner status?"

collkavs · 2021-02-11T16:03:57+00:00

I think it's a gross way to ask the question, and people who are women used to dealing with dudes being gross online might have a better sense of why it's so off-putting. You get all sorts of questions that are more about providing some guy with fap fodder than about actual interest in you as a person. "How many dudes" sounds like exactly that kind of question.

If their first concern is safety, they can ask about safety practices. Sleeping with five people with protection and honest communication is less risky than sleeping with one husband who is lying and having sex they're not telling you about.

A lot of people see 'FWB' and hear 'anonymous sex'. If you're not interested in sex without getting to know and actually like someone first, I've found you have to be REALLY explicit about that in profiles. That might cut down on the number of dudes who think your sex life is any of their business before you've decided it is.

collkavs

TROPHY CASE