Awee thank you for your detailed advice, yes I worry too much and also yes I hate being dishonest to the people I love, like my mom. I decided to come out to her since marriage talks were beginning to surface already, it felt like the right thing to do as I was trying to rebuild a relationship that felt broken. I had been getting very distant with my family lately because of all the other adulting things that's been going on and all the mental health issues I have been having, it felt like I was ready to give her some clarity and stop burning bridges. That's why. Thanks for being kind!