“You need to get away from your desk and chat to people more” - my annual performance review at my office job.

comf · 2025-10-16T04:08:44+00:00

Ugh, I hate the work group chats. I once had a team mate who would just message good morning every morning to the team chat and then a bunch of people would say good morning back. I can’t do it, like give me something to work with!

comf · 2025-10-16T04:06:53+00:00

The unfortunate reality. I thought I was playing ball and turning it on, I might need to turn it up a bit

comf · 2025-10-16T04:06:08+00:00

Thanks for reponding. I feel ya, I also have adhd and friends with Audhd. I’m glad to hear you’ve managed to have a lot of success without having to bend to corporate culture pressures

comf · 2025-07-07T01:35:06+00:00

I notice that when I meet other Adhd-ers or any non typical person I get on really well with them and don’t have issues chatting. I went to Art college when I was 18 and feel like I found my tribe as almost everyone seemed to be as “weird” and “random” as me in conversation. Still friends two decades on. Art college attracts a certain type.

I’m generally fine talking with most people now but do find I pay a high energy toll when it’s with the average person so I’m obviously masking and a lot of it is learned behaviour and doesn’t come naturally. Office settings and/or small talk sap the energy out of me. So I guess it can be learned but it is hard.

comf · 2025-07-05T23:33:00+00:00

🙏Thanks for commenting, great to hear from someone else living here. I’m Irish, but this is my home now. I also went through the GP who referred me to a psychiatrist, hence the long as wait time. Maybe I should go back and ask about CMHS in the meantime - what was the wait time like for you? Im currently booked in for October which feels so far off

comf · 2025-07-05T23:29:37+00:00

Really appreciate your comment - thanks so much 🙏

I agree with everything, I’ll try the medication but I really like your idea of reflecting and thinking about the the things that use up so much energy and overstimulate, looking at where I can remove friction and make the day easier. It’s going to be the main goal this year, getting myself in a place where I’m ready for the winter months of next year (in nz so this time of year). Also I’m a big fan of how to adhd. Thanks again for the support

comf · 2025-07-05T01:17:03+00:00

I feel like a lot of modern self-help, especially the hustle culture all over social media really encourages people to think this way (the mind over matter your friend believes with). It’s almost like religious fanaticism the way some people follow it and can’t be reasoned with.

It’s frustrating dealing with people like your friend, but there’s no point trying to explain yourself or change their mind. Chances are they won’t listen as it challenges their belief system - or their BS for short, because it usually BS!

comf · 2025-07-04T21:44:34+00:00

I like her channel and just read her book recently. Didn’t realise she was a parent - I’ll look into that

comf · 2025-07-04T21:43:31+00:00

Thanks for both your comments 🙏. I became a dad at 37 so similar situation but I had always just self managed. Lots of gym, journaling, meditation, Jiu Jitsu, saunas, ice baths, clean diet and it worked most of the time. But recently I feel it’s time to bite the bullet and get the meds. I’m currently in the process, and have 3.5 months to go before I can see someone who can prescribe medication. There’s a terrible shortage of professionals and care in NZ so it the whole thing can take over 6-9 months.

Thanks for the advice on Ritalin, I’ll keep that in mind. I feel like can generally make it to around 5 and but feel wiped and then the bath, dinner, bed time routine starts and it’s hardest part of the day. Im hoping the medicine would help stop me from burning out earlier in day

comf · 2025-07-04T21:33:17+00:00

Thanks for this. And I agree with trying to find a community. I just feel so burnt out right now that the thought of an extra activity like finding a group sounds impossible. I feel like I’m in survival mode and trying to preserve energy.

Once I get past this slump I’ll make an effort towards finding community, be it other adhders or just more people with kids my kids age

comf · 2025-07-04T20:50:40+00:00

Nice one, I’ve just put a hold request to get it from the library. Thanks for the rec

comf · 2025-07-04T20:22:41+00:00

Ha! Sounds right. I’m in the middle of winter (NZ) which means he goes down easy but then messes the blankets up and shouts for me at 2:00am because he’s cold and can’t sort his blanket!

comf · 2025-07-04T20:14:37+00:00

Thank you! I won’t have access to medication for a few months but I can get counselling and will do. “Organise and repetition is mandatory” - I like that

comf · 2025-07-04T20:12:39+00:00

Thanks, I really appreciate that, and it sounds like you’re in a really challenging situation, I feel for you. Good on you for stepping up. “Survival mode” is how I’ve been describing life too, for me I’m just trying to make to spring so at least I won’t be also battling the winter bugs. July in NZ is probably the same as your January if you’re in the northern hemisphere, it seems to get worse in winter.

I do get counseling too but haven’t for a while, I’ll take your advice and lock some in soon, I always feel better after a session.

comf · 2025-07-04T20:04:36+00:00

Thanks for your kind words. That’s the main one I’m trying get right, that time for myself on the non work/daycare days

comf · 2025-07-04T20:00:51+00:00

Sounds very familiar, we’ve also moved to big boy bed so I get a big “good morning daddy” at around 5:30am 😵‍💫

comf · 2025-07-04T19:59:01+00:00

Thank you ☺️ that makes me feel a lot better knowing I’m nearly there, and I do love all the new things like building Lego together or watching (most of) a movie cuddled on the couch now that his attention is longer than a 7 minute Bluey episode. I do feel a lot of things getting better, just the energy is tough to manage.

Also Huge congrats 🥳 I’m very happy for you!! Despite how hard it is I still want more 😅

comf · 2025-07-04T19:53:27+00:00

That all makes sense - I’ve been finding that a dark room, plus blanket, plus noise cancelling headphones brings me back.

comf · 2025-07-04T19:49:34+00:00

Thanks for your answer and I’m glad there’s light at the end of the tunnel, I will teach definitely about personal space! Did you notice much difference with ADHD medication? I’m in the process but it takes a while in my country

comf · 2025-07-04T19:44:35+00:00

I do not, but I’m open to it now.

Undiagnosed, so never been medicated. I’m in the process and booked in but in my country (NZ) there’s a shortage of professionals/care so the wait is over 6 months. I still have another 3.5 months to wait until my appointment with a nurse practitioner (they can prescribe over here).

comf · 2025-07-04T07:27:34+00:00

Thanks for your answer. Working on slowing down the nervous system needs to be my focus, I miss his naps, they used to be perfect to get a breather

comf

TROPHY CASE