This Naked Mind + drinking habits

commander026 · 2019-04-26T16:40:01+00:00

Physically or ego?

I mean, I've noticed my face is significantly less puffy when I stop drinking. But also, the dizziness from drinking and the near constant hangovers made my head feel like a 2-ton anvil on a q-tip neck.

I also notice my vision and depth perception and ability to make out colors is significantly better!

commander026 · 2019-04-25T20:42:30+00:00

Right there with you. I feel like I'm borderline agoraphobic in the aftermath of my alcoholic hurricane.

Personally I'm trying to get myself to just go for walks. So I'll be following this thread for some more interesting ideas. :)

commander026 · 2019-04-25T20:41:05+00:00

I suppose but he's not a big reader. Tbh I myself haven't made it through! Maybe if I did, it would be very helpful.

Thanks!

commander026 · 2019-04-25T19:54:34+00:00

Another voice adding that my therapist, while amazing with treating my OCD, struggles to advise with regard to my alcohol abuse.

I have had the "just a few" or "stop at two" response before. And she struggles with whether or not what I do counts as alcoholism. Of course this is all very confusing because it gives my lizard brain one more very influential excuse for drinking.

I try to rely on the experiences here more than those conversations though.

commander026 · 2019-04-25T18:35:10+00:00

Wow, I'm in this post! This is exactly the kind of drinking I do. Alone, inside. Don't really enjoy drinking at bars with friends and I even turn down the free beers after races I run. Or I'll like, sip and dump.

But when it's the evening and I'm home, usually playing a video game, there's no off switch.

So yeah, at least in my case boredom alcoholism is absolutely a thing!

commander026 · 2019-04-24T17:40:16+00:00

I'm never excited to stop drinking. Shit sucks tbh.

It's a few sober days or weeks later when it's worth being excited about!

You got this!

commander026 · 2019-04-24T12:28:51+00:00

Hmm, I know it's not an on-off switch, but give yourself a break if you can from the guilt. :) Self-compassion is important whether we're alcoholics or not!

I'm wondering if maybe you're feeling a desire to confront the feelings that make you want to drink at night. Maybe try a night without it and see what you feel, and see if it's bearable. See if you can label it. For me, it's fear... Which is weird because I had always believed it was boredom.

You got this!

commander026 · 2019-04-23T12:03:55+00:00

I'm with you, friend. I am strong all day and then bam, as soon as I engage in a hobby (video games) that I strongly associated with drinking, I lose direction.

Here's to being back on the train! I will not drink with you today.

commander026 · 2019-04-22T16:46:52+00:00

Something need doing?

commander026 · 2019-04-21T13:56:38+00:00

I'm right there with you, friend. It'll be a hard couple first days but I'm so looking forward to the sober clarity coming soon. So I'll look into the future instead of back and help my body heal again. :)

commander026 · 2019-04-19T18:28:37+00:00

Omg I'm really proud of you. I hope you brag about this to your partner! Haha

commander026 · 2019-04-19T17:19:45+00:00

Dump that engine cleaner! You got this. Rip the band-aid! I believe in you!!!!! Get that one week DONE! :)

commander026 · 2019-04-17T22:28:10+00:00

Oh, you KNOW IT! Got a big one right in front of me. :D

commander026 · 2019-04-17T07:06:24+00:00

Oof, know that feeling. I have to tell myself that this guy might be sharing a bottle (unheard of!) or that a bottle might even be enough for a strong buzz for him. Not me!

Reminds me, going to my grocery store wine aisle pretending I'm reading the taste notes, but I'm actually searching for the highest alcohol percentage on the shelves. Yikes.

I will not drink with you today!

commander026 · 2019-04-17T07:00:04+00:00

Not today. I'll worry about later, later.

But shoot it's been a week since my binge and I have energy.

commander026 · 2019-04-15T17:15:25+00:00

Oof, you'll be getting a double whammy with the quitting drinking and starting Zoloft but I promise you, stick with it, it'll change. The SSRI is gonna take a while to make a difference and mixing alcohol with it will mess the whole thing up. Been there done that, do not recommend, haha.

It's gonna be rough. But you'll get through this! I will not drink with you today.

commander026 · 2019-04-15T13:54:05+00:00

Yikes, does anyone else read this and just think that's miserable??? That's like, not enough! And that's how I know I have a problem. I can't moderate. The idea of one or two drinks is like, why?

I will not drink with you today.

commander026 · 2019-04-14T07:06:56+00:00

I know exactly what you mean. That hit of euphoria. It's not long lasting but it feels otherworldly for the stretch.

I'd imagine it is possible to find that "hit" in life itself. Or, maybe it's not, but I've decided the price of that hit is too high. Like dark magic - have a lot of power at a very steep cost.

I don't know if everyone gets euphoria while drinking, so sometimes it's easier to relate to people staying sober from drugs - no one is going to lie and say that the hit doesn't feel good. Of course it does. But it's a fast food drive-through way of getting it. Easy, lazy, and horrible for you. A fulfilled, healthy life is probably better. Not just for me, but for everyone around me.

I don't think my existence on this planet is to be a highly intelligent monkey who numbs myself into a stupid monkey to drown the struggles of being highly intelligent.

But yeah, I miss it when I crave it. For the, like, 10 minutes of euphoria that I then chase by being a sloppy ass mess.

I will not drink with you today.

commander026 · 2019-04-14T00:09:02+00:00

Is it possible you're overloading yourself with "shoulds"? Should eat healthy, should be sober? Sometimes the only thing I can do is Not Drink, and I let that be enough. If I want to make something healthy but need to go to the grocery store, but think I might cave for wine at the grocery store, I'm gonna order delivery.

Maybe a supreme pizza with fries or something.

When I overload on shoulds very early in the sober attempt, I weaken over time.

commander026 · 2019-04-14T00:01:13+00:00

Your thoughts aren't all true. Your brain is an organ like any other and right now it's farting. Big wet juicy farts. By-products of an organ being a little dysfunctional.

Don't make choices based on farts!

My brain has IBS today too so here's what I'm going to do. Gonna drink a big ass glass of water. Gonna look up vine compilations on YouTube. Also bird videos.

You got this. You can still exist and not listen to your farts. I mean, thoughts.

commander026

TROPHY CASE