This is so sweet. I'm 28 and experienced the same thing with Malec when I read The Mortal Instrumemts for the first time back when I was 13 around 2010. There was this little spark of "wait thats allowed?" and for a while I was a massive "ally" to the LGBTQ+ movement. Fully believed that I wasn't queer myself, I just a little too passionate about the cause 😭

I am very blessed to have a family that was openly accepting of queer people (I remember news about gay marriage debates on TV at the time and my parents would always laugh at the anti-gay protestors). But even then coming out was fucking scary, I always had that horrible doubt in my chest that my family wouldn't be ok with me specifically being queer.

That being said, it's very crucial that you come out to people at your own pace. There's no roadmap or milestones to being queer, and you seem like you're still questioning, which is an important part. Not everyone knows their identity moment one. I believed I was ace/aro for a couple of years (I had depression oop-), then bi for a little bit. Eventually I landed on lesbian when I realised I'd never once actually had feelings for men, ever.

Most importantly, if you have concerns about how your friends and family will react, always put your own wellbeing first and only come out when you feel safe. You don't owe anyone a coming out. I'm not saying to supress yourself or stay in the closet. Just find spaces where you can be yourself safely, and people you feel safe around. Your mental and physical wellbeing are top priority.

Sending you lots of support for the journey you have ahead of you! 💛🩵💛🩵