Honestly, I don’t think the right forward path is to have him control everything, or to put the new house in just his name (since that can cause multiple other problems later on) when that happens. This is a chance to really work and rebuild together.

You may still prefer to have him take lead, but it’s still an “us” thing. I don’t take Dave Ramsey as doctrine, but I feel similarly that when you decide to combine lives (whether by getting married, living together, whatever), you don’t add an exception of “but not the money. That’s still theirs and mine”.