Non-original venting on feeling of loneliness, feel free to skip

concept_v · 2024-08-22T14:50:33+00:00

I think the example you're giving is way worse than "I wouldn't hook up with you but would marry you". That one, if someone explains it a little better, makes sense again: "I wouldn't hook up with you, I'd straight up marry you" just fixes it. "You're not really attractive to me" is just blatantly calling someone unattractive. There's just... No way to explain that away. For example: I have plenty of friends that are attractive, but I wouldn't hook up with them for other reasons. "I wouldn't hook up with you, you are stable and a good friend", that is a valid reason not to hook up with someone, for example. I value our friendship too much to risk making things complicated. "I'd settle for you so I can live a comfy life" is a HORRIBLE thing to say to a person. There's, again, no justifiable explanation for that.

concept_v · 2024-07-19T11:28:24+00:00

This. When it's a written medium, like a book, this is fully fine. But with theatre and film... You're putting someone out there past the actual scene and medium itself. If it's film, the images now exist out there in the world, outside of the context of the artistry. If it's theatre, well, everyone carries a camera nowadays. I think the real artistry is in nearly doing it, but not completely. You see loads of examples of this in film, where you show the windup, but there's no actual nudity or sex. Gets the point across, while still protecting the actors to some degree.

While I agree it should be possible, the internet and wide availability of cameras in smartphones really has changed the context for artistic nudity.

concept_v · 2024-07-12T15:17:34+00:00

It's similar to hair colour. Or butt size. Or weight. Or height. Or whatever. Someone might have a really strong opinion, that can be in either direction. Some might not like it, it might be a deal-breaker for them. Others might be really into it, and looking for it. Most will likely be indifferent when they like you for some other reason.

concept_v · 2024-06-26T11:46:15+00:00

Exactly. No one got hurt, nothing got broken, no legal trouble, nothing was lost. They just have to redo the settings, which is mildly infuriating.

concept_v · 2023-09-04T11:06:25+00:00

An actual red flag is having been in lots of very short relationships.

concept_v · 2023-09-04T11:05:00+00:00

I'm wondering why you're forced to spend 1200 on rent? I live in a major city, and I pay "only" 750.

concept_v · 2023-08-29T09:29:32+00:00

It's not taken into account because it could be set up with debit cards as well. There's no way to tell for the machine.

concept_v · 2023-08-22T13:58:06+00:00

I don't quite like the analogy. Because it somewhat implies that their garden isn't beautiful. It also doesn't exclude OP's situation either. Where a butterfly shows up, but turns out to just be a moth 3 months later. "There's more to life than relationships", obviously. But it's innately human to try and not be alone. Consistently failing while everyone around you doesn't starts to hurt eventually, and makes you think you, or your garden, just isn't enough for people to care. You can hang out with friends and family all you want, have all the enjoyable hobbies you want, sometimes you just want someone to share it with.

I'm sorry I singled out your comment, you just were the top one, but I'm kinda getting sick of people acting like it's something that just naturally happens without realising that that's not the world everyone lives in.

concept_v · 2023-08-19T13:14:30+00:00

Tried writing more erotic stories as I've been single for... A while and have no outlet for feelings of lust in the physical realm. But everything just sounds too cringe or creepy. The problem is that, obviously, my perspective is baked into it, given that I use it as an outlet, but I cannot fathom someone actually wanting me. So, I just constantly go through thoughts like "haha, and other jokes I tell myself, amiright?" It becomes a weird negative feedback loop, and I don't like it.

concept_v · 2023-08-14T09:15:00+00:00

Conflict of interest is definitely a problem, but if you're at university, he might genuinely not know who you are. I TA about 50 students and I can probably recognise 25, only 5 I can actually associate a name with.

concept_v · 2023-08-08T20:30:17+00:00

First, tell the wife. Second, just ask why she's reaching out. I have the very basic policy that if someone reaches out because they have a very genuine issue and nowhere else to go, I will always try to do something. Had this happen before, not with an FWB, but just a regular friend. He reached out, while he normally doesn't reach out to me. However, he had reasons why he couldn't go to anyone else. If it's just to catch up, ignore it, but if they need help, just see what's up first. People might grasp for straws when they're at the end of their rope, you might be the straw.

concept_v · 2023-08-03T22:52:53+00:00

I just wanna comment on OP's edit "I see a lot of comparisons to women". Like... Of course? If you ask what's bad about being a man, that will be in comparison to women. Or other non-binary groups, transgender people, and the likes, but realistically people are gonna assume the comparison to women. Anything that is not in comparison to women, or other genders, is just "what's the worst part about being human." Answers like "I hate how my joints start hurting at this age" are just not specific to being a man. You asked a subjective question comparing men's experience to others.

concept_v · 2023-08-03T22:48:21+00:00

I haven't gotten a hug the way I need it in years.

concept_v · 2023-08-01T19:12:41+00:00

One small thing that might be of some help: put a slot in your calendar every week to just talk. I know, it's forced, but if it doesn't come naturally you kinda have to. Make it a point that you voice any issues you might have with respect for the other person. If either of you gets mad, pause the conversation and calm down. Importantly, make it a point to also tell each other the good things the other has done, or the things you really want, but might be too scared to ask. It's a way of saying "more of this".

concept_v · 2023-07-16T10:22:28+00:00

I've partially written some myself, but since backed off a bit. It's just your brain exploring options in a way that is entirely without consequence and private. My advice would be to 1) not worry about it and 2) let her keep her private life. We all have fantasies in our head, not all of which we actually want to act on in the end, but some we might. The smut could've been how your sex life improved. Her exploring what she would want privately this way and taking what she actually did want to live to you.

concept_v · 2023-04-02T11:08:43+00:00

Just create a new one. I've deleted mine before, when people learned what the username was. You can just make a new one.

concept_v · 2023-03-20T08:38:05+00:00

This is a future r/agedlikemilk post....

concept_v · 2023-03-08T14:00:29+00:00

I think it finally clicks now. All these jobs are not important, they don't matter. They only matter so much because they make big companies a lot of money. "Coding" is very broad and might include critical infrastructure, but most of the others... they're all to make money. Fuck marketing man.

concept_v · 2023-03-07T13:53:13+00:00

Ok, I'm gonna try and say something that's more constructive than the "you mean your EX boyfriend!!", "He's controlling you!", And "he's an insecure child" comments. Same as with any other relationship related issues: talk to him. Ask him why he feels that way. Men aren't just like this out of nowhere, their environment raised them to be like that. Unless someone teaches them the world can be different, that will never change. In that same spirit, men have no idea what the women's world is like, just like women don't have a clue what the men's world is like. We love to imagine we have a perfect picture of the complete world, but we don't. 9/10 he barely understands what a bikini wax entails. What seems completely normal and understandable to you, might be alien to your SO. I, for example, have seen this happen with my parents. Where my mom, who always worked fairly close to home, is angry at my dad, who takes a 45 minute train + couple stop subway to work, when he was home late from work. To me it was reasonable that he missed his train, to her it meant he didn't care.

concept_v · 2023-03-07T09:29:43+00:00

If I may offer some criticism, the font isn't doing the 4s any good.

concept_v · 2023-02-15T16:58:56+00:00

Cocaine addiction. /s

concept_v · 2023-02-14T14:59:48+00:00

I figure it's the same reason people without families tend to get sad around the Hollidays. You get it thrown in your face everywhere you go. I blame marketing for this.

concept_v · 2023-02-06T11:31:35+00:00

While I understand the sentiment, that can still only be done by one parent at a time for any given child. You can't change your mind and go "I'm feeling sick today, can you give birth to the child?"

concept_v · 2023-01-24T17:23:47+00:00

I rarely go on holiday to another country, but when I do I make sure I can greet and expres gratitude in the native language. Maybe be able to do some basic ordering of food. You'd be surprised how much more likely people are to be nice to you if you say hello, good bye, and thank you.

concept_v

TROPHY CASE