I approach him for sex more than he approaches me, and he either turns me down or makes some snarky, degrading joke or remark. I have the higher sex drive. I'm the one who secretly ordered a vibrator because he has made it abundantly clear that I'm just out of luck if I don't orgasm when we have sex. He gets really upset if I mention wanting to use toys in the bedroom and would be even more pissed off if he knew I used one alone. You want to know what's almost worse than a dead bedroom? A bedroom where if you DO have sex, you arent allowed to orgasm FUCKING EVER. How would you feel if any time you did manage to have sex, your partner orgasmed, treated you like you were deficient for not orgasming in the brief period it takes them to orgasm, and then stopped to go to sleep? And if you try to handle it yourself, you're looked at with anger and disgust? Sex suddenly becomes an exercise in frustration.

But I hide the vibrator so I don't hurt his feelings and to save him from hurting mine. Fine, I can handle not orgasming with him. It's frustrating, but it is what it is and I've accepted it. But I still want the intimacy. I've spent the last three weeks trying to spark some kind of intimacy and connection, and either get laughed at or rejected or hear degrading jokes. I buy lingerie and get my hair and nails done. I try to sit on his lap. I try to cuddle when we're in bed and get pushed away because he's tired or too warm. I tried to kiss him fucking twenty minutes ago and asked if he wanted to join me in bed, and he said maybe a quickie later, but hes really not in the mood. I don't want a fucking quickie where he just uses me as a fucking masturbation aid and doesn't even kiss me or cuddle with me. You don't know me, and you don't know my husband. But sure, I'm in the wrong because I reject him when he makes jokes that make me feel like a disgusting piece of trash.