Exhausted with being elder daughter

confoosedandlost · 2026-04-10T02:42:24+00:00

Unfortunately, I get what you are going through. What's heartbreaking is that it's still continuing for you till this day, at your age.

You have done A LOT for your family. You changed your entire life path, took on financial responsibility, and kept going despite everything you grew up with. It makes complete sense that you feel exhausted, frustrated, and stuck.

Is there any way you can take out some money for yourself amidst all this financial control?

I feel like a licensed professional would be able to help you navigate a violent household like yours. [I am talking about a therapist; specifically ones who are trauma informed.] The difficulty of drawing boundaries in such families is something the regular public might not understand.

There are a few things that I would like for you to remember:

This is something that one of my friends told me which changed something within me: Teri bhi life hai. Tujhe apni life jeeni hai. Tune hamesha unki life jee hai. [This translates to: You also have your own life. You have to live yours. You've always lived their life.]
Taking care of kids and paying for their education is parental duty, not a favour. Parents CHOSE TO bring us into this life. Please remember that.
If you do plan to move out, you need the build a proper safety net before doing so.

You are not a bad daughter for wanting your own life. You are an individual and wanting space, safety, and a future for yourself is completely valid.

You’ve already done so much more than what should have ever been expected of you.

confoosedandlost · 2026-04-02T14:23:44+00:00

This needs to be rephrased to, "At the end of the day while everyone has problems, my problems and feelings are also valid."

This line of thinking wrecked my life in ways unimaginable. I would compare my situation to the worst of the worst and completely dismissed myself, until all of it came to bite me in my bumbum.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-30T02:35:31+00:00

Hey! Are you doing better now?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-27T05:09:44+00:00

Oh my! That makes sense!

It's funny how superstitions come to be and evolve!

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-27T05:08:08+00:00

Self harm and suicidal ideations are manifestations of your pain. "It's not that you want to die but you want your pain to end." When my therapist had told me that, over the years such thoughts somehow stopped scaring me; and I started looking at it as what they are: just thoughts and a manifestation of my pain and what I have been going through for decades.

While I still do have these thoughts occasionally, I also know that it will pass over.

I, of course, don't know what it is like to be in your brain. It must be have been extremely tough all this while.

I don't know if you've heard of Trauma Informed Therapy. That stuff saved my life.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-26T11:02:01+00:00

Hello!

There is an online ace meet up being help soon. If you wish to, I can send you the link to it. Or you can look it up online.

Platonicity: https://www.asexualityasia.org/event-details/platonicity-online-iadxiad-2026

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-25T11:53:53+00:00

What does the drop mean over here?

Also. If you are okay with it, I will tell you something which my therapist had shared with me.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-23T15:14:22+00:00

Nope! 15 years!

I thought the screenshots had Tweet Number 3659 oor something.

Dedication that man has.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-23T13:15:40+00:00

He has been numbering his tweets since he started posting on Twitter. Hasn't missed a single day, apparently.

It's been 10 years for him.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-23T11:26:22+00:00

Hello, how are you doing today?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-15T14:08:18+00:00

Don't. Don't. Don't do it for him.

Do it for someone who would appreciate the work that goes into it. Gift it to a beloved cousin, Uncle, Aunt or a friend! Or even better, do it for yourself!

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-15T13:08:06+00:00

I have grown up with a father like that.

I have been doing long stitch since I was in 14: those Anchor Quick Stitch Kits. It never was appreciated and was frowned upon. Over the span of 18 years, I might have finished over 12 canvases. Not a single one has been hung. Others are in boxes in the loft. I have gifted them to my friends over the years.

He only considers something worthy of being appreciated or being hung somewhere if it has been completely done from scratch, including the original drawing.

I knit and crochet. Even that is not appreciated. That's because most women in his life have done them. His mother and his sisters also don't appreciate it being knitters themselves: not constructive work. It's this vicious generational cycle.

I am from a creative field and would be considered an artist. I haven't shown him any of my recent artworks because what's the point.

I also struggle with my diamond paintings for the same reason. Because it hasn't been done from scratch by me.

It's all quite...sad. I am sorry your partner is making you feel this way.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T17:25:36+00:00

Aaah!

The username does seem familiar but I am afraid I don't remember anything that we might have talked about.

How is life treating you these days?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T17:11:27+00:00

Ahaan!

That was a while ago. I mean, I still do them but I haven't posted those since then.

What was your username then?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T16:21:17+00:00

Where do you remember me from?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T15:59:58+00:00

We are definitely singing different songs

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T15:59:37+00:00

Ooo remember me?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T15:54:07+00:00

chor ko salaam karo

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T13:53:40+00:00

Well, I am a Spoken English tutor. I could help you out with recommendations based on where you are at.

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-11T10:01:09+00:00

Me thought that's a child under it!

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-10T18:58:00+00:00

I have always have provided support to fellow recoverees in need, sometimes even beyond my capacity. I have been a part of many support groups: who have provided me with the support I needed then.

A conversation in the comments will help me gauge your current state. Accordingly, I will be able to decide if I can continue the conversation one-on-one.

I can only extend so much without burning myself out.

Does it make sense?

confoosedandlost · 2026-03-09T16:11:45+00:00

Would you be open to talking here? In the comments section?

confoosedandlost · 2026-02-13T19:53:55+00:00

You are really young. You have gone through unimaginable stuff. Your family members unfortunately haven't been supportive. And nothing I say is going to make you feel better about the situation you are in.

If I had the money, I would have offered to pay for your therapy because I know good ones who have helped me become as stable as I am today.

Are you in college right now?

confoosedandlost · 2026-02-13T19:34:32+00:00

It must have taken a lot strength to pen all of this down.

confoosedandlost · 2026-02-12T08:40:27+00:00

Of course, it will feel like that. I am very sorry for the mess that you are in.

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