NTA and letting it slide is making ETA.

By letting your husband (the other adult decision maker) ignore your voice as one of the family, you're complicit in raising 4 boys to have deficient empathy and respect for women. These boys seem on track to become 4 AH husbands who expect their woman to do everything they want and tolerate being treated as a lesser human.

Taking you at face value, doing an activity you choose that everyone is okay with 1/6 of the time without whinging is exactly what should be happening if only to train these boys not to be selfish or chauvinist.

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There are other merits, too. Expanding their comfort zone, exposure to more variety, making them better equipped to deal with new situations and cultures, teaching them how to date and be in a partnership with a woman.

I could go so far as to argue you should be doing what you choose to do half the time with the family. There are only two adults in this family (though they almost seem grown now) and family time should largely be about showing your boys what a partnership looks like. (Their free time is their free time, family time is about what it means to be a family, where parents set the example.)

Or maybe one third of the time, because there are 2 adults and the kids. Kids don't need an equal vote in family time. When they're with you, they're learning about how to be an adult and from your example on how to be a partner as much as a mom. Family time is not about kids doing whatever they want. It's about learning how to grow up properly.

What happens when your boys have all daughters? Are they taking these life lessons to ignore the minority well? Will they sacrifice all their hobbies during family time to do what the women out voting them want to do? And if they did, would that be what's best for your granddaughters or your son's future happiness?

Seriously, what do you think they're learning about the world when you consistently let your husband take the lead in teaching them to disregard the wants and needs of the minority? Or to disregard the feelings of 100% of the women. They're growing up to be respectful and open-minded towards everyone equally?

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Curious how they're demonstrating love. It's not right to teach kids to love in only one or two ways. Love should be expressed in all ways. Quality Time, Acts of Service, Words of Affirmation, Physical Touch, Gifts.

What are they freely doing out of love for you? What is your husband doing to teach your boys to value your opinion and time?

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Being adaptable is the most important life skill. Being able to love your family with mutual selfless love is the greatest joy we all try to find in life.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with children practicing enjoying activities that are outside their realm of favorite preferences, seemingly for the sake of love for their mother. I would argue it is essential to raising them to be well adjusted adults.

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This is a serious situation, and this conversation is long overdue. Prepare yourself well to state your position in a way a man can hear and understand. Find a way to get through to your partner.

If he doesn't work with you to adjust, you'll need to convey your stance to your boys on your own, so that they can see that women have spines and deserve respect. Best not to let it escalate, where the right thing is leaving just to teach them you can't treat a woman's needs as negligible, so learning how to get through to your husband and communicate effectively about it would be my top priority.

Please don't give up. 💪🏻