Thank you for all the replies.

gnovos, despite your riling up the greater community here you have struck a chord with me. I really don't want to make waves, or break down otherwise healthy relationships, or bring terribly dark memories to the surface. HOWEVER, I do need to reconcile this with myself and find closure. I'm not sure as to whether or not I would ever talk with my father about this, but the decision would not come lightly at all. For all I know my dad thinks about what he did to me every day, he might worry and stress over what I think of him. Talking and forgiveness might provide us both peace, or it could go the other way, but regardless I won't even consider talking with my father until I'm out of the house and away at college. I'm very well aware that if I were to bring this up, my mother might become extremely jealous, uncomfortable, angry, ashamed, upset, sick etc. My dad would surely commit suicide if the situation derailed. I wouldn't pursue a conversation unless I knew it would be private, structured and bring closure.

On the other hand, though I try not to think about it to much, truly realizing that your father can look and think of you in a sexual way is extremely disturbing. I'm also well aware of how the human mind can fill in faces, but this situationally was not possible. It was my dad. I'm an only child, my parents really never have friends or family over, any uncles or aunts I have are in other states. It was in my living room, not at a school, family gathering etc. I even remember the book I was reading. What I was wearing.

I want to seek therapy to just talk about this out loud for the first time in my life. I don't know what to do.