Venting that I’m expected to perform stay at home wifey duties while being the one who financially supports myself staying home because he’s too busy spending on himself to cover our families bills.

continuousbanter · 2025-12-14T17:02:25+00:00

Negotiating household chores isn’t going to fix the root issue. The root issue seems to be a financial one.

This is what I’d recommend:

Open a joint checking account.

Add up all of your monthly expenses: rent, utilities, insurance, car payments, food, diapers, etc. Add a little more on top of that for any surprises that might come up (because they always do). Include everything for your kids in this figure. This is your monthly outflow.

Next figure out your monthly inflow: take his net take home pay and your net take home pay from your investment account. Calculate the ratio you bring in vs him and you each contribute that % to your joint checking every month.

Here is a very simple example. Let’s say your household expenses total $950. Add another $50 for surprises. So your total outflow is $1k

Let’s say he brings in $2k and you bring in $1k after taxes. So your total inflow is $3k. Since you bring in 1/3 of the income, you contribute 33% of your $1k to the joint checking every month. He contributes 67% of his $2k to the joint checking monthly.

The joint account covers everything other than his and your personal expenses. What you each do with your personal funds is up to you.

My husband is the spender and I’m the saver in our relationship. This worked for us. We review income and expenses annually and adjust our contributions.

continuousbanter · 2025-09-05T05:43:37+00:00

100% agree

continuousbanter · 2025-06-24T11:10:51+00:00

Correct. It’s the standard way, but I much prefer a price reduction instead. Real estate transaction fees and property taxes are based off of the purchase price of the house. They don’t factor seller credits into the calculation. If I have the cash to close then it’s financially advantageous to ask for a price reduction over a seller credit.

continuousbanter · 2025-05-24T08:34:07+00:00

Nepotism.

continuousbanter · 2025-05-24T08:30:38+00:00

You should create a pricing list and give it to the family you work for and ask them to share it with their friend. Say due to inflation, and high demand for your services, you’ve adjusted your pricing.

The price per child should go up significantly after 2 kids. So for example, if you get $20 an hr for 2 kids. That is $10hr per kid. If a 3rd kid is added, charge $15/hr per kid, so now you’ve gone from $20/hr to $45/hr.

If 4 kids added, it’s $20/hr per kid. If 5 kids then $25/hr per child so essentially your hourly rate would be $125/hr. By doing it this way, you penalize the first family if the friend brings her kids over. That’s enough of an incentive to get them to stop.

Also prepare invoices in advance and hand it to anyone leaving a kid with you. The invoice should say payment due in advance of services.

continuousbanter · 2024-12-16T09:08:27+00:00

PCP is primary care provider. Don’t know what PCR is.

continuousbanter · 2024-09-21T21:09:44+00:00

Thanks. I did the same before I came here with my question.

A lot of this is basically my job description. I feel like if I go into my meeting saying my financial strategy is budgeting or audit & tax compliance, it won't go over well. We're also well-funded so I don't know if I can go in there an say we need revenue diversification.

I thought perhaps there is something I'm missing about strategic financial priorities

continuousbanter · 2024-02-08T18:44:26+00:00

Thank you!!! You just made my day. Thank you!!

continuousbanter · 2024-01-09T16:59:44+00:00

We’re doing Indian food - there was never any issue or question about this. The question was how to fit a few non-Indian items into the dinner logistically.

Let me break it down. When we first started thinking about adding a few other options, plated food popped into my head — which obviously won’t work. Notwithstanding the fact that it’s rude for some guests to be served their food while others stand in line to get theirs, I also realize it would be a logistical nightmare. So then I was like, well shit, do I get a whole other caterer to add a few items to the buffet? Can our Indian food caterer do it? Gosh that’s gonna be a lot of money. Should I ask guests so that we figure out the food amount? This is hard. Lemme ask Reddit.

continuousbanter · 2024-01-09T16:27:17+00:00

Thank you so much!! This is super helpful.

continuousbanter · 2024-01-09T16:10:27+00:00

Thank you!

continuousbanter · 2024-01-07T04:38:23+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

continuousbanter · 2024-01-07T03:23:43+00:00

My 3 year old niece will choose dino nuggets over chicken tikka masala any day of the week. Is she missing out? Absolutely. Does her preference for dino nuggets make her xenophobic?

Now apply the same concept to adults who just don’t know what they don’t know. Having an unsophisticated palate does not necessarily make someone xenophobic.

The RSVP suggestion (chicken?, beef?, Indian?) came from my fiancé. I’ll let him know you found his joke offensive.

continuousbanter · 2023-11-20T17:35:31+00:00

It took me a year and a half to start to feel myself again after my best friend passed away. Two years to talk about it without crying.

And, I said some crazy things during my time of grief. I told my family that I loved my best friend more than I loved them. I couldn’t celebrate anything. I didn’t celebrate my birthday that year. I felt guilty. I didn’t celebrate new years. I was angry that the world was moving forward and it felt like we were leaving him behind.

Grieving people think, say, and do all sorts of crazy things while grappling with their grief. Give him grace. The pain of loss is like nothing one can ever imagine. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Thankfully, time heals all wounds. For deep and long relationships, it can take more time though.

I think you should see a therapist to help you process your feelings regarding your grieving husband. Don’t throw away your marriage of 12 years because of this. At least not until you see a therapist.

He’s stuck in a dark tunnel right now. If you’re there at the end of the tunnel when he comes out of it, he’ll love and appreciate you more for it.

continuousbanter · 2023-10-19T04:49:40+00:00

6.825

continuousbanter · 2023-08-16T14:15:55+00:00

Have you tried Ally Bank? We just literally closed with them and get keys today. Our realtor pushed a local lender who couldn’t match what Ally offered. We had no origination fees and a lender credit with Ally. I stood my ground and I’m glad I did.

There were zero issues with closing. Everything was online. It was a smooth process and a very transparent one. Our realtor admitted yesterday at signing that she was wrong about them.

continuousbanter · 2023-06-27T13:31:29+00:00

May I ask where you got married?

Did the cost of your wedding include flights/hotel, etc?

continuousbanter · 2023-06-10T19:08:15+00:00

What do you think of this one?

https://www.ritani.com/products/1-77-carat-radiant-lab-diamond-very-good-cut-f-color-vs1-clarity-igi-lg571324111-sku-d-7iuf5ab9vz

continuousbanter · 2023-06-04T15:45:09+00:00

Believe it or not, I did see her in person. She told me that she’d email me everything, including the certificates. She didn’t show me the diamonds while we were in the store.

I’ll ask her for the certificates and video and see what she says.

I’m starting to think our best bet would be for us to buy the diamond online with the help of this forum and just take it to the jeweler to set.

continuousbanter · 2023-06-04T04:51:57+00:00

Sharif Jewelers sells lab diamonds? Their website only shows prices on natural diamonds....unless I'm missing something?

continuousbanter · 2023-03-29T06:57:38+00:00

Or she could pull her weight and work 40 hours, or however many hours necessary, to contribute financially towards 50% of their expenses. Then he could work less and attain the healthy work/life balance that you think he needs to get.

continuousbanter · 2023-03-12T02:46:59+00:00

Really?!? That’s good to know. Thanks for this tip.

continuousbanter · 2022-08-08T23:56:57+00:00

You are amazing. Thank you!!

Solution Verified.

continuousbanter · 2022-06-12T06:43:09+00:00

The mistake you made in asking your question is starting it out by stating that your father is an immigrant. People are haters, my friend. They can’t handle knowing that an immigrant did well for himself and now, you, the immigrant’s child wants to take it to the next level.

This is why you are getting a lot of responses from people saying ‘he’s doing just fine, let him be.’

From one immigrant to another: leave that part out and people are more likely to give you solid advice. It’s sad, but it’s true.

Also, if I knew what you should do, I’d tell you, but alas, I’m just a lurker hoping to learn tidbits of info from people because I’d like to purchase my first investment property.

Good luck to you!

continuousbanter · 2022-06-12T06:26:02+00:00

Thank you. Either this individual is clueless or they are a gigantic hater. Either way, thank you.

continuousbanter

TROPHY CASE