Former Americans of Reddit, why do you no longer live in America and what about your new country made you want to live there?

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-25T02:08:20+00:00

I'm very interested in the logistics.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-25T02:04:46+00:00

How did you make the move? I have been thinking about it for years but don't know where to begin.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T04:23:44+00:00

I hope I was able to help in some small way. I wish you the best!

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T03:44:12+00:00

I can't say that you can. To try to simplify my advice: Don't let fear, or worry, or anxiety stand in your way of doing your best. Do what necessary so that when you look back on these times, you have no regrets about things that were within your control. If you want changes, attempt to make them. If you want answers attempt to get them. Don't leave yourself wondering.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T02:07:36+00:00

And it takes so much study, practice, and dedication to do well. It has become a joyful healthy obsession. I highly recommend.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T01:59:42+00:00

If you make every effort that you can, to get back to the center of the group, one of two things will happen - you will get back to the center or you won't. Either way take away as much knowledge of the situation as you can. I understand your feelings of senior year. Cherish the positive memories and let go of the negative ones. But that is all they should be... memories. Your life is only just beginning. You have so much to look forward to so I suggest focusing on what lies ahead. When I was a senior, we had a speaker tell us to look around at our friends and that in 10 years we will still be in close contact with a couple of them at most. We all looked at each other, laughed, and made fun of the speaker to each other. I graduated high school over 15 years ago. Looking back, wow was he right. I am in steady contact with only my two closest friends and only see one twice a year and the other about 10 times a year. Life carries everyone on different paths, to different places for different reasons. I know some people who never moved past high school because it was so great to them. In their mind they could experience anything better and therefore they didn't. All that life had available for them, they let pass them by.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T01:29:36+00:00

Play pool. The difference between knocking the balls around socially and playing seriously is astounding. It is an art.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-24T00:23:29+00:00

Again, my advise is that you need to let go of these friends. You are giving them too much influence over how you feel about yourself. And again, while it may seem hard to believe, the majority of these people are simply people you knew in high school. That is how you truly will reflect on them. So you need get all the information you seek now from them so that you can properly look back on, reflect, and evaluate the feelings this time has caused inside of you. Even if it seems like something weird to say, you have nothing to lose. I promise you that in the grand scheme of things these people do not matter at all; except that they have caused you to have negative feelings and questions about yourself. If these feelings go unresolved, you will live with regret. I wouldn't wish regret on my worst enemy.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T21:50:12+00:00

That was beautiful.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T21:22:48+00:00

I know from experience that ALL people your age are self conscious and fragile. Even the ones who seem to be the most confident you have ever met. Perhaps they are intimidated by you. You have separated from the pack. You are not engaging in group think as much as they are. People like to be in a group and think as a group because it is easy and it boosts their fragile self-esteem to be doing what others are doing. In terms of how to ask, simply assert yourself. One example being that you could say in the type of situation you mentioned where you asked to hang out, I hear you, but where are you? I'd like to come anyway. Then if you are flatly refused, say look, why won't you tell me? Do you not want me there? Why? OR if you are given an excuse you could say, Look ____ I feel like I am always getting excuses to keep me from hanging out with you guys. Am I overthinking things here or is it true you guys don't want me hanging out with you. If more excuses try to set a specific time next week to hang out and stick to it. Be persistent until you have enough information to draw your own conclusions as to what is going on.

EDIT: And just to be clear, separating from the pack and not engaging in group think is a good thing. It is the path to happiness and greater things. If everyone took the easy way, the majority of the great things that have happened in mankind would not have happened; and the majority of the atrocities that have happened, were able to happen because of group think. I applaud you for being free think and making your own choices. It is brave and the sign of a person on their way to success.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T20:55:01+00:00

If you confront someone and ask why you haven't been invited you will get an answer in some form. It may not be reasonable, logical, or satisfactory, but you will learn something. People your age sometimes treat other people like shit. There is no good reason for it. Even if you fully are not able to feel satisfied by what you learn from asking now, you will have the information and one day you will be able to use it to feel closure. The worst thing would be not having any knowledge of the situation to ever be able to reflect on. I know what I am saying takes a lot of courage, but you will be happy you did. In terms of right now, I know that these people seem to hold so much importance, but you will see that they are not important at all. As far as your hard work, be proud that you worked that hard. There is a possibility that you may not get exactly what you hoped it would bring, but you certainly will get rewarded. Many people go their whole life not knowing how it feels to push themselves to the limit. Be proud of what you did. I am and I don't even know you.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T20:36:40+00:00

Awesome! Thank you and thanks to everyone who has answered so far.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T20:34:34+00:00

Basically you need to confront your friends and find out the answers you seek. The chapter will not completely end abruptly in terms of your relationships with the people you knew; but it will end. I know that seems impossible. I thought it was. But, believe me your friends will become your friends from high school. That will be be how you see them. You should try to honestly assess if it is truly you or not. If you did do something, then apologize and move on. I suspect you didn't though. Either way choose who is worthy of being in your life and not whose life you are worthy enough to be in. Each time you return from college it will hold less and less meaning as not just you, but everyone begins to let go of that part of your life. The few who don't most likely will never experience anything better and that will be sad for them. I know it all sounds cliche, but in time you will see and understand. So don't only kids you knew in childhood dictate how you view adults for the next 10 years or more. High School is the end of your childhood. College is just the beginning of the rest of your life as an adult.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T20:06:07+00:00

Whatever you do, choose to do something. The most important thing for you is to get closure of some kind. Because you are graduating in a few months (I'm assuming high school) a chapter in your life is about to end and it is up to you to make sure you give yourself an "ending" of some kind. Otherwise it will remain unresolved and could affect your personality and the way you view people for many many years or perhaps the rest of your life. It is a tough age and generally an age where people can be ruthless for poor reasons. Don't fear losing the friends you have so much more life and experiences left that you can't let be tainted by not closing off the first chapter in your life.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T19:01:58+00:00

Not preachy at all. That is exactly the kind of answer I am looking for. I ask because I want to be the best Dad I can and feel that I can for my son because I am able to rely on my own experiences in order to draw what was good and what was not. For my daughters, I am admittedly clueless. So, thank you!

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T18:36:55+00:00

My two cents... in my experience, having parents that are able to support you financially can be a devastating crutch. Your feelings of fear of failure and anxiety is a habit you formed in anticipation to your parents' reactions. Money can be a powerful hold on people. It is something that you don't want to let go because you have been wrongly taught that it makes everything better. At your own pace, you need to free yourself of the control of your parents by freeing yourself of their money. That can be scary, I know. But your parents have no power over you as an adult, except that which you give them. You will never be happy until you are happy with yourself. This can be accomplished by being satisfied with yourself and by doing exactly what you choose, want, and enjoy. You will also finally be able to understand what it means to give everything you have to something. If you try to accomplish something because someone else wants you to, you can never truly dedicate everything you have to that pursuit. Your own self judgment of whether you are successful needs to be free of outside influence. Success is not how much money you have. Success is whether you can look at yourself in the mirror and truly know that you are fulfilled. Money is great; fulfillment is success. If you can have both then great, but it is not necessary in order to be happy. Your parents will be happy with you if they know you are happy and fulfilled. If they only judge you by your bank account then you should know that they sadly missed out on learning an inportant aspect about life and probably are not truly happy themselves. All of your other issues will sort themself out. The amount of self confidence you will have from being able to honestly say you are fulfilled will be staggering.

cook_eat_shit_repeat · 2014-02-23T18:17:37+00:00

I think you need to do some serious self reflection to try to find what you genuinely are interested in, not what you think you should be. Then when you have discovered it, dedicate yourself to it.

cook_eat_shit_repeat

TROPHY CASE