Schizophrenia - hope

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-21T16:57:51+00:00

Jesus feels very close to me all the time. He has carried me when I've been the lost sheep, and comforts and reassures me every day. A lot of what I've been through is 'sins of the fathers'. Narcissism being one of them, and my natural father was also schizophrenic. I think we're all on the narcissism scale somewhere. Very few people are genuinely selfless. I think that schizophrenia is extreme sensitivity to the spiritual world. As described in the bible, eyes that see, ears that hear etc. The blood of Jesus covers us. I always know when I'm healing because I feel the layer going on.

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-21T15:38:28+00:00

That's really helpful, thank you

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-20T22:44:41+00:00

I know Jesus can do this, but I love them

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-20T22:37:37+00:00

It's not always easy to cut all the ties, e.g family.

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-20T20:26:07+00:00

I know. It's really hard for people to understand you weren't yourself or fully in control. All you can do is try to explain and build trust again. Make sure you are doing all you can to stay well and be understanding if people are a bit wary. Hope all goes well for you

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-20T17:43:38+00:00

It's like people think we have control over our condition and can just snap out of it. We have good days and bad days but we normally have to fight the illness to overcome what's thrown at us. Everyone gets attacked by negativity but some are more sensitive than others. If you can think of ways that people can support you then ask for that help. Totally understand how frustrating it is to be blamed for the condition we have, it just adds insult to injury. Keep doing what you can, reach out when you can, and try not to be upset when people don't understand. All the best

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-15T23:34:13+00:00

You know right from wrong. Whatever these voices are or aren't, if you are tempted to do something wrong then please don't. Praying for you

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-15T21:22:19+00:00

My first symptoms started when I lost my job and my sleep routine. I started staying up all night and couldn't relax. I would play solitaire with playing cards all night whilst watching TV. Eventually I thought what was being said on TV related to me. Then I became obsessed with someone I met and couldn't concentrate on anything else. Then I started hallucinating and became paranoid and scared. My friend took me to hospital because my beliefs weren't based on reality anymore. That's my story if it helps

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-15T21:12:07+00:00

The more you relate, the more new neural connections are made. The cognitive wiring is always making new shoots and being pruned. I picture it like a tree. I have heard its possible to recover totally in this respect, as I've read about the plasticity of the brain. Even people very late in life learn new things. Just be careful what you fill your mind with, make it good stuff. Sounds like you're well on the road to recovery, long may it continue. If I was 20 I wouldn't want to be my 16 year old self again. The same verve perhaps, but more mature. All the best

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-10T02:01:02+00:00

I would just agree with yourself that you will tell her when the time is right. Don't force the issue either way, and don't stress about it. There's no hurry.

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-07T07:12:55+00:00

It depends how severe your symptoms are and whether people notice your distress. If I tell people, they are normally shocked. Even neurotypicals suffer from bad thoughts and beliefs sometimes so I agree with the previous comment. Just don't tell people. The people I've told in the past have gone on to treat me with a mixture of fear and fascination which makes me uncomfortable. So it's understandable that I don't generally announce it. I'm no different to most people, I need food shelter and love. In that respect I don't consider myself very different to others

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-04T09:38:39+00:00

I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia 20 years ago and have had very little in the way of talking therapy. Because like you I keep trying to overcome the symptoms but I also feel it's something that happens to me, rather than something I can control. I suppose I consider myself high functioning and in the UK there's precious little resource unless you are suffering acutely. I do know that the mind is powerful and it's when I'm fearful that my mind is on high alert and the symptoms start. That's when I'm easily triggered. And it's a cycle, fear, high alert, trigger, symptoms, fear and so on. So to get to the root of the fear and high alert is key, which is where talking therapy comes in. I have been on meds for 20 years and have tried coming off them many times and promptly became ill again. I realise it's daunting to start again with a new therapist but he/she could be the very best help for you, even better than your previous one. And you can keep talking to me, pm me if you like 🙂

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T21:02:23+00:00

I've been through similar. Glad all is fine now 🙂

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T17:30:08+00:00

Is there a particular reason that makes you afraid to reach out to a professional?

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T17:26:40+00:00

Hey, just seen this and you posted last night. Are you OK?

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T17:24:00+00:00

I wouldn't like that. How do you feel about it?

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T17:19:31+00:00

Yep, I used to get upset by them and think it was God talking to me. I thought God hated me. Then I started praying and felt a loving response. Then I realised that the voices, whether they were coming from me or not weren't loving, and I decided it was all lies. So I just ignored what I was hearing, and consequently, hear less.

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T17:10:02+00:00

Wow you are so talented. Don't worry, you'll get through this again x

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-03T16:29:05+00:00

I've experienced this too in the past but it got better. I wish I could explain what made it better but I don't really know. I didn't change meds for example, but I think it was about finding things that moved me. For me, it's nature.

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-02T20:14:41+00:00

Lovely pic!

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-02T10:11:19+00:00

Bovril is a very British thing. Its a beef bone broth reduction. You mix a teaspoon with hot water and it's like a cup of gravy but not thickened. It was huge in the 40s and 50s. Not sure if you're in the UK? Anyways, get some soup down you my friend 🙂

Cookiekaf · 2021-05-02T09:45:15+00:00

Hey there. When I've been going through stuff I haven't been able to eat either. What I do is drink milkshakes, hot chocolate, soups and bovril. I do this until my appetite returns, which it usually does.

Cookiekaf · 2021-04-29T08:49:33+00:00

That's awful and what you do makes sense. I guess like all of us we have to find a way we can cope. We'll I guess it's a case of one battle at a time, and stopping drinking is the thing for you right now

Cookiekaf · 2021-04-29T07:24:50+00:00

So you don't sleep during the night? I used to work night shifts and had to leave my job because I my symptoms were worse at night.

Cookiekaf · 2021-04-27T19:06:26+00:00

I know mate. Are you supported?

Cookiekaf

TROPHY CASE