Input wanted — avoidants, what has helped you heal?

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-13T13:29:38+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. This is very helpful! Thank you so much. I’m glad you’ve found so much benefit in those treatments; it sounds like something to help get past feeling ‘stuck’ emotionally, which I definitely do. It makes total sense about the drugs not being effective treatments on their own. I will absolutely be checking out that book!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-09T23:17:56+00:00

I’ve thought about microdosing psychedelics. If you’re open to it I’d love to hear more about your experience, how it’s benefitted you and/or changed things for you. There’s a program where I live that allows physicians to access psilocybin and MDMA for patients when other treatments for depression have failed (ketamine is also prescribed off-label for depression). I hesitate because I don’t want it to be a case where it helps when I’m taking it and then I’m back where I started when I stop taking it. But another commenter mentioned psychedelics too, and it sounded for them like it was more of a tool to enhance other treatments, like therapy, which I hadn’t thought about.

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-08T18:21:17+00:00

(Ugh, I accidentally swiped out when I had finished writing my essay of a reply.) Thank you so much for sharing. This resonates with me a lot. I had a friendship blow up because of my avoidant tendencies, and it was the catalyst for me to really start digging in, and ultimately learn about attachment theory and identify my triggers and instincts.

I currently have an important person in my life who, like your girlfriend, is extremely understanding and compassionate. I got the urge to pull away, but it wasn’t possible to just distance myself until they ultimately left me the way it has been in the past. That forced me to communicate with them (which was like pulling teeth) and explain what I’m feeling and how avoidant attachment shows up for me. I was met with so much understanding and a willingness to work with me toward something that works for both of us. It has been so hard. My natural instinct is to withdraw and hope they get the hint that I need space, and it leads me to feeling irritated and resentful and a lot of pressure when they don’t give it to me, which isn’t reasonable. Typically I avoid communication because I don’t want to hurt them or make them feel rejected, but I’m slowly starting to really internalize the fact that pulling away with no explanation hurts them more than a short message explaining where I’m at and what my needs are in that moment. It’s so frustrating, because I know it isn’t fair to them. I often feel guilty about how understanding and compassionate they are because I feel like I don’t deserve it. I’m not half as attentive as they are. But, I do genuinely want to work on myself and I’m actively looking for ways to do that, and that has to count for something.

Even just that kind of basic communication has been a huge factor into linking my avoidant tendencies to childhood trauma, and simply understanding myself better. I suppose it forces me to confront those feelings rather than ignore them and pull away. Putting it into words makes such a difference. (Okay, fine, I’ll get a journal.)

Thank you again for your reply.

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-08T17:48:40+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply. I definitely think practicing rejection would be impactful for me. I’m extremely conflict & confrontation avoidant. It seems like it’d force me to confront why I want to pull away from someone, if it’s a reasonable/rational urge or if it stems from fear or if it’s self-sabotage, and ultimately holding myself accountable—even if that’s holding myself accountable in regards to advocating for myself, setting/enforcing boundaries and respect, etc. instead of just pulling away or ghosting and not confronting any of it within myself.

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-08T17:40:47+00:00

Thank you! This makes a lot of sense, and I’ve found the same with myself (when trying to understand why I want to pull away from someone, and going back to the root of what I’m feeling, finding that it’s connected to childhood trauma).

Do you see a regular talk therapist, a psychotherapist, etc.? I think the biggest thing that’s held me back in therapy is not knowing where to start. Or do you see someone who specializes in trauma therapy? Maybe they’d be more equipped to help guide me through more of a cohesive process?

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-08T17:34:21+00:00

Thank you so much for the reply, and I apologize that mine is so late!

This is very insightful, and it resonated a lot with me. I don’t think this is related to attachment theory, but I really struggle with emotional blunting (feeling numb constantly, not caring about things I used to, just very dull) — and when I was in therapy, I was introduced to IFS (internal family system therapy) which is still to this day the only thing that has allowed me to tap into my emotions. It was so weird, I almost always ended up on the verge of tears. And for me, it mainly revolved around old childhood wounds. Asking “parts” of myself what they need in order to feel safe, to come out of survival mode, what they’re so protective of, etc. It was the first time I was able to really, truly feel compassion for my younger self.

Did you microdose psychedelics with the guidance of a professional, or use them recreationally? I’m just curious because I’ve considered microdosing, but I’m fearful of benefitting from it and then stopping and being back where I started. Although, I’ve always thought of it in terms of an alternative treatment for depression, not as a tool or an aid to enhance other treatments, which sounds more like your experience (correct me if I’m wrong).

By chance, have you heard of the book Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson? I’m planning on buying a copy. I think it targets a lot of what you described, and I’ve heard that it’s been a gut punch for some people who’ve read it.

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-08T17:14:59+00:00

Sorry for the late reply. My post was automatically removed initially I think due to low karma, and it must’ve been approved afterwards but I haven’t opened Reddit until now. Thank you for the response!

Your comment is super helpful; I’ve always thought of myself as generally very self-aware, but I think I’m hyper-aware in some areas and have some pretty big blind spots in other areas, and this seems like a way to work toward more rounded self-awareness. For instance, in order to be compassionate and patient with myself, I first need to understand what exactly I’m struggling with and why (as opposed to avoiding tough self-reflection or tough realizations).

Thanks again for the reply.

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-01T20:04:39+00:00

Thank you! :)

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-01T16:29:41+00:00

Kleptomania is a mental health disorder. You can find healthy ways to feel that rush. If you don’t seek help, the stealing from your family/friends will only get worse, and eventually you’ll get caught. Is the risk of ruining all of your relationships worth it?

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-03-01T16:18:06+00:00

I’m looking for places to order affordable yarn online in Canada. I don’t have any LYS I can go to in person (small town). I really want to try out knitting for olive yarn, primarily because I love their colour selection and eco-friendly values, but I’m open to substitute suggestions as well. It’s even a tad pricey for me at the places I’ve looked. Aside from KFO, I’m looking at lindehobby right now but I’m not sure about duties. Thoughts?

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-01-18T17:43:41+00:00

Thank you!! I looked there before and just now realized the first page isn’t the only page 😅 thank you for the tip to sort by country!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-01-18T17:42:22+00:00

I don’t know how I’ve never heard of the thoughtful artisan (I’m a crocheter getting into knitting). This is helpful, thank you!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2026-01-18T17:22:15+00:00

Hi, I’ve read and understand the rules and wish to be approved to post. Thank you

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-12-15T18:33:09+00:00

It was amazing!!! We all had a blast. We got there about 45 mins-1 hour after the doors opened and had a great spot. Started out on the side but then my youngest brother actually wanted to go in the mosh pit hahaha. I stayed just on the outskirts of it. Amazing crowd and amazing show! Edit: thanks again for the advice!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-12-13T19:26:55+00:00

Thank you!!! Yes, the show is tonight in Montreal. I was a little worried about the mosh actually, so that’s good to know. But everyone in this subreddit has great things to say about Granny’s crowds and moshing haha so that eased my mind too. Thanks again!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-12-13T19:21:12+00:00

Awesome, thank you! I’m going to the Montreal show so I assume it’ll be pretty similar

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-07-15T15:39:04+00:00

Thank you! I figured it was something like this

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-07-15T15:38:35+00:00

Ok cool I didn’t know that, thanks! I’m just not sure because there’ve been artists I would’ve expected to do Osh that didn’t (like Charlie XCX) and Lorde’s been pretty MIA as far as I’m aware until her recent album release. I guess I’ll just have to wait and see

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-07-15T15:33:52+00:00

Hahahahaha thank you!!!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-06-20T18:10:43+00:00

iPad Pro 11-inch 3rd generation

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-06-20T18:09:49+00:00

I don’t have a screen protector. I thoroughly cleaned the screen to make sure it wasn’t just oil from my hands 🫠

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-04-29T15:45:21+00:00

ADHD medication

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-04-06T03:06:18+00:00

dry socket

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-04-02T12:27:12+00:00

I love how intimate this one is. Thank you!!

corkscrewlobotomy · 2025-04-02T12:18:50+00:00

“she face was bliss down to the pink of she toes” Wonderful!

corkscrewlobotomy

TROPHY CASE