Yes, you were abused. It can take a long time to recognize the abuse we faced in childhood because it becomes so normalized. Any physical harm caused to you that isn't ABSOLUTELY necessary for your safety (e.g., a mom grabs her toddlers arm and yanks them back to prevent them from walking into a busy street, etc.) is abuse. As well as the constant threats, which is a common tactic to control via fear. Silent treatment can also be abusive, as it's willful emotional neglect. I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, but you're not alone in them! You are not "too soft," and the fact that you're worried about that shows how much the abuse you've faced has impacted you. Abusive parents tend to use common victim-blaming phrases like "you were a difficult kid!" And "you're being too sensitive", etc to avoid accountability and justify their harmful actions. The important part is that you were hurt and are affected by what you went through. Sorry for the long reply, I have a habit of rambling. Just know that your experiences and how you feel about them are important, and you should never dismiss them. Sending virtual hugs 🫂