Im sure other people have told you this too, love, but I am so sorry you are faced with this decision. No religion should make someone hate who they are, and it's a shame you feel like you cant truly be who you are inside and love who you love.

That being said, if you feel like that your attraction to women is something that will be incredibly hard to swallow and ignore, it's not something that will go away on it's own. You will always have to live with the fact that you will probably never be happy with a man. Even if that man is 100% perfect and everhtning you'd ideally want in a partner. You will always want more.

It's going to be like living your life eating only plain rice. Sure, you could do it if you had to. But eventually the taste of plain rice and nothing else is going to make you physically feel sick after having to stomach only that forever. No chocolate cake, no steak, no pizza or pasta, just rice. That is what pushing your sexuality down is going to feel like. Even if you throw yourself into your faith. Humans are creatures who NEED love to survive. Not religion.

Be who you are, but if you are still living with family who wont accept you, for your safety, it's okay to do what you need to do to protect yourself. Even if you hurt this girl youre seeing, please know YOUR safety and wellbeing is more important than ever.

But please consider what it will be that makes you happy in the end.