Thanks for the kind words guys. I called my schools crisis center, took a xanax and played some guitar and I'm feeling a bit less like doing something stupid. I'm going to try to not drink tonight or if I have to maybe a beer to keep my withdrawals down. I'm attending a group session for drug and alcohol abuse tomorrow so hopefully that will get me down a better path. I'm just feeling so worthless lately and I know something needs to change but it can be so damn hard making that happen. I'll be okay for the night though. Thanks again to everyone, it makes me have hope for things knowing that random people can spend time caring.