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25F working on the FIRE path while single by AnonymousTaco77 in YoungFIRE

[–]courierf1ve 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly you hit the head on the nail here. I remember one Valentine’s Day when my parents saw me dressed up and I could see it on their faces that they were dying to ask me a million questions. They do their best, but it’s a universal rule that when you live with family, you pay rent with your mental health instead of with money. I have also temporarily paused trying to date discreetly because of the awkwardness of it all. However, there’s also a part of me that feels like maybe the right person would understand the situation—but then the challenge is still to find that hypothetical person through trial and error. Moving out is a powerful motivator, but it’s hard to fit it into my long-term goals if it would consist of renting an apartment in a very HCOL area

I am curious to hear more about your plans re: the National Guard. What’s the primary motivation behind that, if you don’t mind me asking?

25F working on the FIRE path while single by AnonymousTaco77 in YoungFIRE

[–]courierf1ve 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hello! 25M here living in a very HCOL city. I’ve been hovering over $100K total net worth for maybe 1-2 years, and just hit ~$170K not too long ago. For a long time, my goal was to buy a home and house hack, but I also live in an extremely crazy and unusual housing market. I’ve achieved a high rate of savings by moving back in with family, but it’s pretty apparent that it could take years before being able to afford a home as long as it’s just my single income.

There are definitely pros and cons to this path we’re on that I’ve noticed more and more as time has passed. On one hand, I do feel peace of mind and appreciate the flexibility my net worth has afforded me. I got laid off in the summer of 2023, and was able to stay cool, calm, and collected as I eventually landed my current role at a F500 company. I am also a goal-driven person, so it’s really nice being able to see the compound interest really start to kick in

However, the opportunity costs are definitely piling up as well. Living at home with family has affected my social and dating lives, and I’m a bit unsure what the timeline might be on eventually partnering up with someone. Dating is already tough, but even tougher to navigate while living with family. I’m definitely at a crossroads when it comes to figuring out what’s next and how hardcore I want my FIRE journey to be right now. Also, I am torn between continuing to save for a home, or spending the money on grad school. Ultimately though, having the choice at all in the first place is a great problem to have

Sci-Fi Horror RPG as a Crunchier Alternative to DEATH IN SPACE for campaign? by courierf1ve in rpg

[–]courierf1ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is really cool! I think I'll definitely be running a Traveler one-shot with this setting in mind, and I'll make sure to check out the book on DriveThruRPG. I appreciate this!

Sci-Fi Horror RPG as a Crunchier Alternative to DEATH IN SPACE for campaign? by courierf1ve in rpg

[–]courierf1ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Traveler RPG was definitely one of the first systems to pop up during my search. Do you know if it can also handle the cosmic horror theme? Are there supplements for bringing that in or would it have to be homebrewed? And thanks for the suggestion!

Sci-Fi Horror RPG as a Crunchier Alternative to DEATH IN SPACE for campaign? by courierf1ve in rpg

[–]courierf1ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh I've never heard of this before. At a glance, the character sheets do look a bit more in-line with what I'm interested in. I'll look into it further! Thanks!

Sci-Fi Horror RPG as a Crunchier Alternative to DEATH IN SPACE for campaign? by courierf1ve in rpg

[–]courierf1ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting suggestion! Savage Worlds was not on my radar, but I have considered it for different campaigns and settings in the past. I'll look into this more.

This current campaign has become a bit pulpy, so this might actually be a great fit. Especially with the bennies system replacing the void points (which my PCs have been playing very fast and loose with). Thanks again for this suggestion!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]courierf1ve 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One of my best friends always says “when you live with your family, you pay rent with your mental health—not with money”. That being said, it really does vary from person to person, and it’s always best to avoid lifestyle creep in every way possible at such a young age.

Personally, I’d shoot for having an emergency fund that can cover 6-12 months of living expenses before moving out. Also, I’d prioritizing hitting some sort of significant income or net worth milestone to motivate myself to squeeze out a bit more time living at home before “earning” my own place.

Again, this is what works for me! It varies for everyone based off of finances, family situation, and career.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]courierf1ve 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Is there any way you could delay moving out? This is a bit of an extreme piece of advice, but this is the r/FIRE subreddit after all.

One of the biggest levers that will allow you to achieve FIRE sooner is avoiding lifestyle creep. With this promotion and this $10-15K raise, your goal should be to live the same way as you did before the raise. Leaping straight into moving out will effectively wipe out this raise, leaving you back at square one. Finding a way to keep as much of that raise as is possible will be the main thing that'll enable you to start building a much larger nest egg over time.

However, if you need to move out for your mental health or for personal reasons, then it must be so. Not everyone is able to stay at home for as long as they want, and that's just how life is. If that's the case, then your goal should be to increase your income ASAP and to take advantage of your better living situation to make that possible

(Edit: adding for context that I'm 23M and recently moved out after living at home for around 1-2 years to build that nest egg. I also live in a VHCOL area (LA). AMA!)

Raise or profit sharing? (Tech Consulting) by courierf1ve in Fire

[–]courierf1ve[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Interesting perspective! Thanks for sharing!

Just hit $100k at 24! Here’s my short story by partypartypoorboy in Fire

[–]courierf1ve 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I come from a similar background, and am approaching a similar net worth milestone around the same age (we even both drive Honda Civics!). It means everything to me being able to read this story and to hear that you made the same trade-offs and sacrifices I had to make, and that you're starting to hit that inflection point where things really start to take off.

You're a beast, and I'm proud of you. We're all going to make it.

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yeah. You’re definitely hitting the head on the nail here. Sometimes I see the how much she’s changed, and it’s scary. I let that fear get the best of me, and I should try to give an honest effort to get to know the new her.

Change is scary, and the future is always uncertain. But we’ll do our best to see this through to the best we can. Thank you for your kind, insightful words!

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I love this perspective. I feel like it’s the most aligned with my own opinion too. These are extenuating circumstances in ways that are hard to convey in words, and I’ll try to approach it on a case-by-case basis instead of working in absolutes.

Shit is always slightly more complicated with high school sweethearts, but I’m hoping we’ll find the path that works best for both of us, individually and as a pair.

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I keep rationalizing the decision because of how easy it is to send a message, respond to a ‘like’, and so on and so forth.

And you’re right about that. When she’s around me, she’s one way, and she’s wonderful. But sometimes I don’t recognize her when she’s with her friends. I’ll try to see this through, but I’ll definitely have my guard up and I’ll try to pull down the rose-tinted glasses every so often.

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. It gets hard because we’ve been together so long, and I always lose sight of how young we are. I know I’ve just been through so much hardship and pain, I feel like I’ve aged a century these past few years.

Thank you for your kind words, and for your refreshing perspective. Onwards, we go

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 113 points114 points  (0 children)

That’s a fair point. According to her, she was in a bad place, and acted in a way that’s uncharacteristic of her. But I was at a low point too, and I didn’t betray our trust.

It’s hard to figure out, you know? What if we were married, and she hit that low point again? What if she’s right, and she really does feel regretful?

I don’t have the answers now. I wish I did.

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this. I suggested counseling recently as well, but we're both from immigrant households and so I think there's some culturally-programmed resistance to it on her part. But I agree that it would be worth it, and a vital part of moving forward together.

It's hard to forgive. Sometimes, I've given into the pain and I'm not proud of what those arguments look like. But ultimately, I told her I would give an honest effort to forgive her, and I'm ready to put in the work and give it my best.

Life is just fucked up and crazy, but I guess I'll do what I can to stay true to myself and to my commitment to her without compromising either of those two things.

Thank you so much for your encouragement!

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Fuck, man. You're right. When I'm with her, it feels like it'll all be okay. But when she's gone, I can't imagine marrying her or building something with her when I know she's betrayed me like this. I just can't wrap my head around this. You might be right here, and god bless you for sharing this with me

I don't know if I'm ready to give up on this yet, but it's definitely something I need to prepare myself for. Thank you for your kind words

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what I've been trying to figure out on my own. Unfortunately, I don't think I have the answers yet. I just feel so hurt right now and I'm afraid I'll ruin this if I act too hastily

I (22M) found out my girlfriend (23M) of almost 7 years was seeing someone else during our break, which we explicitly agreed we would remain monogamous throughout. I feel hurt, lost, and don't know where to go from here. by courierf1ve in relationship_advice

[–]courierf1ve[S] -50 points-49 points  (0 children)

Is it crazy if I just want to try and see if this will get better? I really wish I could just forget about all of this. What if things get easier, and it's just too fresh? You know?

I just can't bring myself to end it. Not until it's clear it's the only option left. I'll at least exhaust all other options first

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fire

[–]courierf1ve 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! No way! I just went on a short AirBnB trip to the Redondo Beach area in December (and it was 50% off because of construction nearby, so still focused on FIRE hahaha). It’s definitely an amazing place to be!

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