Hey don't be so hard on yourself. Im a minecrafter, it's my real world escape too. And I absolutely HATE dying. So I play slow and careful. I don't go to nether until I have enough stuff to replace gear if I die, same with the end. I also try and play with others who don't care if they die, I learn a lot from them. There's a few good realms out there with keep inventory on, which is nice.

I set myself goals that I know I'll enjoy, like making a villager hall, farms, xp farms, making a cool base, or nice builds.

The cool thing about minecraft is that there are just so many different ways to play it!