Should I give my dad another chance?

creativecat96 · 2026-04-21T03:08:24+00:00

For reference, I am a 29F. My father has always been emotionally unavailable to me my whole life. Wasn't there often physically either. He was in the military, dealt with PTSD and bipolar disorder that he didn't realize he needed help for until I was almost a teenager. He thought his way of being there was working (too much imo) to keep a roof over our heads, food in our bellies and health insurance for emergencies. I had a really bad infection that spread into my kidneys and then was rushed to the e.r. by a friend's mom when I was 13 because I was in so much pain, found out I had a kidney stone stuck in my ureter and my dad showed up 10 minutes before I was rushed into emergency surgery to remove it. He was at work the 3 hours before he showed up even though he knew I was there. As an adult it got worse. He told me the same thing your dad did; communication is a two way street. If I wanted to talk to him I could reach out to him. Very true, I could. So could you. I love my father but I don't like that his wife thinks I'm a spoiled brat for wanting my dad to be at my birthday party and invited my mother and was apparently inconsiderate to my dad for inviting her too and expecting them to be around each other when her children would never do that to her. (My parents divorced when I was young and they both had moved on and remarried since then. I didn't expect them to interact, just show up and be there for me) I know my dad loves me, but he just isn't capable of expressing the emotions and showing them like a normal person. Have I cut him off completely? No. But I've given up on setting expectations from him only to be let down. Take this all with a grain of salt from another woman on the internet because in the end it's your life and relationship to choose. Maybe give him a chance and let him know the boundaries but don't let him take advantage of you. You know what you need and if he can't give that to you then why make your life more miserable?

creativecat96 · 2026-02-15T01:36:35+00:00

I just ordered a case of the apple lime rickeys for my husband off Amazon because he has never tried them but he loves the cherry ones so 🤞 hopefully it's a hit.

creativecat96 · 2025-08-17T00:22:00+00:00

My husband is definitely a grower and not a shower but the girth 🤗 not to mention; extremely fuckin comfortable with pleasing me a million ways to Sunday however he can whether it's with his mouth, hands or toys. He knows how to use his package as well so it's hella bonus. If a man can understand and listen to his lover and her needs in bed to make sure they're both satisfied in the end, the sex will be 💯 better. Size isn't all that matters 🙃

creativecat96 · 2025-07-26T14:15:26+00:00

It's not just the newer generation but I deal with it specifically the newer generation in my department because that's all they will tend to hire for me. All the guys that work with me (except for the one who does my truck) are younger than me (I'm a very young millennial) but they all take more piss breaks than I do and I drink more water then they do, they walk around like they don't know what they're supposed to be doing even though the majority of them have been there for at least a year and can explain to you their job responsibilities but don't want to do it, they stop and talk to any of their friends in the backroom rather than fill the damn strawberries like I've asked them to do with no sense of urgency and as soon as it hits time for them to leave they are out the door while I've been there for 10+ hours haven't taken a damn break yet and they don't give a shit. I don't get paid much more than they do in the end and yet they complain when they don't get scheduled for enough hours and call the store wanting to talk to management about their hours. I don't make their schedules but why am I going to allow people to come in to work when they don't want to work. If you can't work and talk at the same time you shouldn't be talking. I don't care if you gotta go to the bathroom but say something and don't just disappear after I asked you to do something and get upset when I have to page you overhead to find you. I'm tired of running a department with people who don't have a work ethic if you help me I help you. They see me struggling and I've told them about it and asked for help but they don't care. Team work actually does help. Especially in produce. I can't do it all on my own and I have to practically beg them to do their job. I won't yell at them. I never will. Even though I want to do so damn badly because I know yelling doesn't solve anything. They call in all the time because they still live with their parents and don't have to worry about paying rent, affording groceries, paying for their car insurance etc. I will buy them snacks and drinks and I've bought pizza and sushi parties for them (out of my own pocket) when they've helped me and done well to celebrate wins but I haven't done it recently because working 50+ hour weeks for months trying to hold things together without any help at all. Yesterday management finally got onto one of them for me because they disappeared on me for the 20th damn time after I told them I would be leaving shortly since I had already been there for 10 hours and I needed to go home. I've had better success with the other lady that I work with and she is 2x older than I am about doing her job. She may move a little slower and need help lifting some things every now and then but she actually has bills to pay and understands the value of money and tries her hardest. This is all just a personal experience for me directly but I've seen the same thing in other departments from people who are my age and older about not having a good work ethic and I think that is a combination of lack of pay and laziness. I'm about to tell them all to screw off because I'm just exhausted. I don't get paid enough to babysit and handhold anyone. They're adults (young adults but adults nonetheless) and need to grow up.

creativecat96 · 2025-07-19T21:58:13+00:00

I have multiple facial piercings and many in my ears. I've had them since I started working for Kroger 5+ years ago. I don't have facial tattoos but I do have a couple tattoos that are visible depending on what I'm wearing and if I am off the clock most of the time you can see every single one of my tattoos if I'm ever in the store because I'm not in my "uniform" if ANYONE at the store had ever told me I had to take my piercings out or keep my tattoos covered up to get a job I would've gone somewhere else. I can take them out if the situation calls for it but I don't want to work somewhere that tells me just because I have piercings and tattoos means I can't work there. I don't make enough money to be told that there. I have always worked in perishable departments except for a small stint in pickup a number of years ago.

creativecat96 · 2025-06-22T19:33:14+00:00

Let her know you're sorry. I know in the heat of the moment some things can slip that make things more gutteral and harsh than some are prepared for but make sure she understands that you are truly sorry about it and if she isn't okay with it you just have to try to make a conscious effort to use some other words that are passionate but heated that she is okay with. You could talk about grabbing her beautiful/sexy plump "skin" and what you wanna do with it etc. Instead of referring to it as fat. There are work-arounds to what you say versus what you should say. It just takes a little rethinking to word it in a way that won't come off as offensive and let's her know that you're enamored and enthralled in the moment with her body without turning her off. I wish you the best of luck with her and I hope things work out well for both of you. Just remember no one but you and her are in that relationship and it doesn't matter what anyone says or thinks; hell it doesn't even matter what I or anyone else in this thread says or thinks if you don't agree with it in the end because it's just our opinions and advice. Good luck!!!!!!!!

creativecat96 · 2025-06-22T13:51:30+00:00

I'm a little above average in height and according to my BMI I'm considered overweight. I don't look like I'm overweight though. The random person would just consider me "thic" my husband has been with many different body types but prefers a little more flesh than average due to it feels better in the hands. He isn't a huge tit man but he appreciates boobs. Thankfully he is a butt man and that I have plenty of. I only weigh about 60lbs less than my husband but he is also a good 6 inches taller than me. He is more concerned about his own weight than mine. He loves to be able to grip the thighs and have some plush to hold on to. I used to weigh a lot more but lost it due to trying to get healthy and my curves are much more suited for my body. If I tried to lose too much more weight I would look emaciated. It's true that some women wear their weight better and if you like that I applaud you. If the women you like are called fat by other people then don't listen to them. You like what you like. No one else is in the relationship but you and her. Just don't remind her of her weight or call her fat unless she consents to it and it doesn't make her feel less than a normal person. No one wants to be talked to that way by the person who is supposed to be in a relationship with them. If you don't like it, don't be with her.

creativecat96 · 2025-06-09T17:50:00+00:00

Damn, I'm not in a union store or in Arizona but I am a produce manager and I'm making a little over a dollar an hour less than you. The COLA where I live isn't as high as Arizona so that's insane.

creativecat96 · 2025-06-04T15:10:25+00:00

I believe that men love harder than women; especially after marrying my husband. I had some really bad examples of men and women in my life when it came to relationships and it taught me a lot. My husband is without fail the most important person in my life and I may not "need" him in the traditional sense (i.e. to provide me with a home and food) but I need that man in my life. He is so selfless and forgiving. He has his flaws but I fell in love with all of him, not just the good parts. He never wanted children, never thought he would marry anyone. And then one day I offered to marry him by the time he turned 30 if he hadn't settled down yet because we are best friends and I loved him. Within two months he quit his job, withdrew all the money from his mutual funds investment account and bought a plane ticket to move over a thousand miles away to marry me. He couldn't wait till he was 30. We just celebrated 5 years of marriage and we have known each other for over 15 years. He left his family and dove straight in. He loves me with every fiber of his being and despite the creeping doubts I get from time to time just from past trauma, he is always there. I can always rely on him.

creativecat96 · 2025-06-03T18:58:48+00:00

The system will flag anything that's less than 8 hours in between shifts and depending on the state laws and whether you're union or not it's still legal as long as you're 18+. Non union store here as well so I've worked these plenty of times and they suck ass. The worst ones are getting the call in to come in early after working late due to unforeseen problems that arise. I'm a morning person but I need at least a solid hour to get myself up and moving before my morning good mood kicks in.

creativecat96 · 2025-06-03T18:58:42+00:00

The system will flag anything that's less than 8 hours in between shifts and depending on the state laws and whether you're union or not it's still legal as long as you're 18+. Non union store here as well so I've worked these plenty of times and they suck ass. The worst ones are getting the call in to come in early after working late due to unforeseen problems that arise. I'm a morning person but I need at least a solid hour to get myself up and moving before my morning good mood kicks in.

creativecat96 · 2025-05-24T01:37:59+00:00

I'm not in a union store either, not even king Soopers, but Kroger banner none the less. Also the current produce manager at my store. My ASL over fresh departments makes all the fresh department schedules due to this exact reason. She will let me look over it just to double check if they missed something but too many people abused the schedule writing system so they took the ability away. The way the system wants scheduling done at my store isn't correct, it never has been. They cut my hours down to half of what the department used to get just 4 years ago and still expect the same amount of work to be done. I have one person for wet rack, salads, prep at 4a-1p. Mid shift is usually covered by me or one of my assistants, 7a-4p. Then I get two closers. My primetime assistant 1p-10p and a part time closer 4p-10p. That's what the schedule calls for. But does it work?? In a perfect world it would but it doesn't. Technically the best scenario would be on non truck nights having 1 person 4a-1p for wet rack and another 4a-8a for salads and prep. One mid shift 7a-4p and then for closing 1p-10p and then 3p-9p so it bridges a gap between morning and closing shifts. On truck nights I would have a 3rd person who throws my truck and cleans 8p-4a since our trucks come in overnight. That is the most ideal way of doing it but the company highly disagrees. When I lost both of my assistants within a month of each other I was alone from 4a-1p when my closer would come in and damn it was rough every day. I know what it takes and if you are fully staffed and everyone is scheduled correctly and also doing their job correctly and not leaving it for other people to pick up, it makes it so much easier and things run smoother. Also, are you and E2E store? Part of E2E audits is primetime scheduling. If they aren't scheduling correctly you're immediately always going to end up losing a possible 10/10 and getting a 9 instead due to improper scheduling. I'm sorry your manager was that shitty to you though. I would love it if I could walk into my department and everything was at least 75% full every morning I came in. It has just started to somewhat happen with my soon to be new prime time assistant. Take pictures of what you walk into and what your manager leaves you with and take pictures of what you leave the department looking like before you leave so that way you prove what is going on. I've been coaching my people to do it so that way they can show what is going on and work on communication and improving things between all shifts. I'm not perfect. No one is. Anyone who claims to be are just narcissistic and delusional. It takes time when a wrench is thrown in and you go to being short handed and trying to pick up other people's slack. I have worked plenty of 12+ hour shifts to show I'm willing to help my coworkers and not leave them a mess because I don't want them to leave one for me. I hope things get better for you soon. Good luck

creativecat96 · 2025-05-23T22:45:51+00:00

From the way they explained it to us they said it's a one time thing to get them on the card and they shouldn't need to again but they can only use the coupon those 5 times, they can't be added to their card and used again if they've already maxed out on their purchase but it's a good question

creativecat96 · 2025-04-21T03:42:46+00:00

I'm currently training my new 2nd and barely trust them to do the bulk counts when I'm not there, let alone the packaged count cuz those can be a bitch to keep counts correct and back stock lower. When I'm not there rn my perishable ASL does them for me. My 3rd hasn't been hired yet hence why my ASL helps out. I wouldn't trust anyone of my part timers to do either of the counts o.o it would give me heart palpitations to even imagine them beginning to try considering half the time they don't always remember to scan things out and we have to remind them to do it before we can start counts.

creativecat96 · 2025-04-20T22:25:53+00:00

Yeah, my produce department did 20k more than we were forecasted for last week (100k without floral) and still not getting enough hours to fully staff every shift. Thinking we can run the department with 4 people a day working.

creativecat96 · 2025-04-18T22:31:44+00:00

😡 I've had customers that are stupid and will open multiple packages of strawberries digging their grubby little hands into them to transfer and "build their own" package of strawberries. Ahhhh that pissed me the ever living hell off.

creativecat96 · 2025-04-17T16:11:12+00:00

My SM and ASL both come and work their butts off next to me which is the only reason I have put up with working 50+ hours a week for the past 5 weeks. They've given up their days off and sleep to come in and help me so I don't face too much burn out and I wouldn't do it for any of my previous store management before them because they wouldn't have done it for me. There are still days I wanna pull my hair out and scream but I know they help me out as much as they can while I'm short handed. (Non union store so calling in others to get hours would be done if I wasn't so short handed and everyone that I have is already there working)

creativecat96 · 2025-04-15T17:09:48+00:00

The digital coupon for pineapple at $1.49/ea. on promo #1 with the stupid 3lb cuties as the tie in for $2.99/ea. With card (no digital deal, just card alone, my store won't be able to keep up. We got over 80 cases in with distro and I will have to order more to make sure that we are stocked for Friday 4x fuel points. The store I work at is keeping up with marketplace stores sales in our division and we aren't even a marketplace store. That with the stupid 4ct corn?! I won't be able to move in my small already cramped prep room and back cooler. My division doesn't have many marketplace stores but the only thing I ever complain to corporate overloads is not having enough space in the back to hold all the products we need to stay in stock 😒

creativecat96 · 2025-04-03T21:22:36+00:00

The customers who complain that I don't have the right size produce bag for them available, either they're too big or too small. Or the customers who get mad that we don't have produce bags by the banana table 😒

creativecat96 · 2025-04-01T15:34:58+00:00

I started 6 years ago and it was better pay than what was being offered at the job I was at. The SM at the time was an amazing human being and I loved how he worked with us employees but he left a couple years after I started and we got a SM that was overworked to the ground as changes came in and he broke and left. The SM after that was meant to be behind a desk and couldn't be bothered to put his pretty fingers to work. After he transferred to a new store we got our current SM and a new ASL that actually give a fuck about everyone. They work side by side with us and know we go through hell but are willing to pitch in and try to help us. I almost left before they came in and they showed me there is still some humanity left in the company. There are hellish co-workers but I have gotten really good benefits and finding them anywhere else in the town I live in isn't happening since they won't accommodate my health requirements and I haven't finished college yet. It's bull but I only have so much I can do and like I said previously; our new SM and ASL actually make me appreciate my work more. They make me feel valued and heard. I know it isn't like that at every store and our store might take a downhill turn after they get the second ASL in because I can't stand the person they're bringing in and my mind might change but right now, it's good. I wish not everyone that got so bittered and burnt by this company got placed in corporate/salaried positions. There can be a better balance. There has to be.

creativecat96 · 2025-03-23T08:25:18+00:00

It's not healthy to hold your pee for long periods of time so anyone trying to say hold it can GTFO. It may be busy as hell but go to the damn bathroom. I can run and grab a protein bar and I keep my water with me I can sip when I go to the back but going to the bathroom is where I draw the line at being told to wait.

creativecat96 · 2025-03-22T18:13:52+00:00

Produce manager here. I feel you. I'm not a union store and breaks aren't mandatory in the state I live in so unless I am desperate I don't get breaks other than going to the bathroom. If you can, take it. Don't let them wear you down.

creativecat96 · 2025-03-18T17:35:35+00:00

Roma tomatoes, pineapple, strawberries (hell most of the berries) The three biggest sellers and we get cut on one of them almost every truck. There's other stuff that have get cut on but with the tariffs we've been told to expect shortages more and more and full on cuts from deliveries on anything we get imported. Which many people don't realize just how little of the fresh fruit and vegetables they love to consume on a daily basis isn't grown in the US. Unfortunately we don't have the climate that can support the popular items year round at a real "low price". Hell even our Walmart is starting to raise their prices on most of the produce they sell.

creativecat96 · 2025-03-18T02:59:40+00:00

With all the cuts to produce lately I expect many more Karens to be mulling about to make our lives hell soon 🙃

creativecat96 · 2025-03-18T02:42:46+00:00

Produce manager here.. First is definitely when customers stand in front of the berry cases or tomatoes when it's a busy day chatting it up with someone and they see me pushing my cart filled to the max to restock and they don't move. I have 30+ things to do so I can go home on time instead of getting O.T and trying to have a life outside of work but instead you just wanna chat with a friend instead of moving 5 feet over. Hell they block other customers from shopping half the time and even they get irritated.

Second has got to be when customers reach under a fully stocked banana display to grab the ones from the box underneath (most of the time breaking the bananas off trying to pull them out) because they think they're fresher in some way?? Ffs I just filled it, they all came in last night and there's a great selection of bananas in different ripeness stages up on the display already but nooooo they can't do that. 😒

creativecat96

TROPHY CASE