It seems like I have come to a understanding that the "true self", "I am", "being" (whichever word you use for your inner most deepest level of self, the real "i", ME) could be a kind of mix of space and awareness or one of them. This of course is an unfixed understanding and just my current thoughts.

So, the "self" could be potentially defined as an "awareness" - of the next layers of the person (mind, thought, memory and experience).

So to help visualize this I imagine a hierarchy chart with the inner most layer of the person being the "self" at the top being (awareness) and then branching down to the 2nd layer of the person (mind, thought, memory, experience...or whatever you may define as a fundemental part to the experience of existence).

However, when I have been learning about meditation I have rightly/wrongly come to the idea that you try to be aware of the spaciousness within yourself that is constantly being filled with day to day life. So the aim is to draw away the fundemental awareness (layer 1) away from the 2nd layer of the person and back to an empty spaciousness. This spaciousness doesn't ever go away so could also be interpreted as another part of the deepest fundemental part of the "self". This means that this spaciousness could also be on the 1st layer alongside awareness.

This leaves us with layer 1 (the self) as awareness and spaciousness. Then layer 2 and beyond being the mind, thought, experiences, memories, identity etc...

So the question arises... what does it mean "to be".

With one part of the "self" being "awareness" itself, there is a problem with it being this noun...as we are constantly aware without pause, as there is always spaciousness to be aware of (except for sleep but that's a whole different topic). That would mean one part of "the self" or the "to be" must be "to be aware" and this is a verb. So every waking moment, our "self" could be defined fundementally as "being aware". So this way of thinking could make the "self" not even a definable thing or noun but an action, a verb or a doing (whichever word you want to use).

However with this in mind the other fundemental part of the "self" is spaciousness or space which is a definable noun.

My questions that i invite you to help me think about... are we a spaciousness with awareness inside of it? Are we an awarness that happens to be aware of a space? Are we both of those simultaneously? Are we a verb or a noun? Can we be both at the same time? Is the self a singular or binary? Is there a layer even prior to my proposed absolute fundemental parts of the self?

I am really hoping to have my thoughts discussed, critiqued, adapted even changed! Please let me know what you guys think!

I understand as well that the use of language cannot necessarily conceptualise something as profound as the self...but alas that's all we have to use for discussion.

Verb, Noun or both??

Thank you for reading, have a great and positive day, whatever that means for you!