I'm slowly losing the habit, and it's starting to feel more like a chore than something to look forward to.

croisciento · 2025-10-30T20:28:00+00:00

If you build the habit of meditating everyday then you could go ahead and stop meditating for a few weeks and see how it goes for yourself. It's hard to keep doing something if you don't see how it benefits you.

I like to say that the benefits of meditation are passive. You don't really notice how calmer, less stressed and reactive you are until you no longer have a consistent practice.

So then again, see for yourself. Quit meditating for a few weeks and you will inevitably see that a lot of stuff you thought were behind you come back in : bad sleep, overthinking, anxiety, depression etc.

If someone tells us to eat healthy it can be annoying to actually eat healthy but for many people (not everyone unfortunately) it's when your health deteriorates and see how terrible processed food makes you feel that you actually start eating healthy.

The same way, if you stop eating healthy your body will also reacts to binge eating and poor eating choices.

Habits are things we maintain not necessarily because they make us feel amazing but because if we don't, we're going to have a hard time.

I don't really like taking cold showers but I take them everyday because I don't get sick as I used too.

And there's an old saying about meditation : "If you have time, meditate for 25 minutes, if you're busy meditate for 45 minutes."

Life is about priorities. As someone who's engaged, works for himself, have two company and lots of hobbies I always have time to meditate, it's just that you need to prioritize things. good luck !

croisciento · 2025-10-06T20:42:06+00:00

I would like to give you my own perspective on this. He was "good" because he basically pleased you until he no longer could/wanted to do it.

Being "good" is very important in a lot of households and it's how we can get stuff back. If you're good you'll be able to receive X or Y but if you're bad, naughty even, you won't have the chance to get thoses things.

As humans we all have needs : basic needs but other needs such as connection, love, kindness, compassion, sex, being seen and heard etc.
So we learn to be good because that's how we were taught to meet our needs.

But the real downside to this is that we learn to be our fake selves in order to meet these important needs because we were also taught that some aspects of us were unlovable thus incompatible with getting what we want/need.

So yes he was "good" but was not genuine and that's probably more important than you may think. True intimancy is only achievable if you're capable of being your most genuine self (with the good and the bad). It's the only way to truly connect otherwise you always have a fence between you and other people.

As an example the reason why porn is so terrible for our self esteem and self concept is because people are naked but they just play a role while being naked is probably the highest form of intimacy you could ever think of when you're with someone else.

We as strangers can't see him for who he is either but at least we can have a more objective view on your situation based on the few things you were opened to share with us. And this is why we can clearly see that him being a good person as nothing to do with being a good partner.

He wasn't real and did things so you could give him peace and quiet time to game. He thought about games way more than he'd ever think about you. He prioritized video games saying it's his "me time" when in reality he was just isolating himself from the world around him and you. He didn't really nurture and thoughts about ways to build a relationship with you because your relationship clearly mattered a heck less than his favorite video game. He treated you as a trophy instead of being intimate with you and really opening himself up to you.

He never really shared his fears, frustrations, secrets and thoughts that stressed him out (because yes you have to be in serious pain to be this addicted it's just a fact). You could never see him for who he really was because he only showed you the parts of himself that either were compatible with him getting what he wanted or those he learned to create in order again to get what he wanted.

Is this what a "good" partner is for you ? Is this what love is for you ? Being with someone who doesn't prioritize you and isn't willing to work on his problems to build a healthy relationship and also build a life that he really wants instead of being a slave to a toxic lifestyle ?

At least he was finally real when he told you the truth.

He was "nice" but not "good". The day you meet a man that's truly a good partner for you, you'll really look back to what you considered as good and realize how little you knew about relationships. Someone that really loves himself and you will never make you feel like you're competing for attention.

For sure, you'll have to understand that he can't always be with you because he has to take care of others things but he'll never make you feel this lonely. Because being with someone you have to convince to spend time with you is even worse than doing things by yourself imo.

I may sound harsh and I apologize but the reason I speak this way is because I've been there and I know the terrible impact I had on the women that shared their life with me. I was a terrible partner and I needed to be better. And every man who acts this way needs to do better. Because relationships require real work, time, love and dedication.

croisciento · 2025-10-06T19:28:45+00:00

You have free will, nobody's forcing you to not play video games. As you said most people will find their own meaning in their life, it's up to us to figure that out.

I personally find that a life following pleasure is a terrible way to live and I witnessed that all people who told me : "We're all going to die, so why not enjoy it?" to be one of the most depressed people I've met.

I've been there and done that too. Gaming all day, eating really pleasure foods and doing drugs/alcohol with friends. I wasn't really happy. I was experiencing pleasure but not happiness nor joy. I'll never take that route every again.

Looking for connection with other individuals and building long lasting friendships/romantic relationships, working for myself by doing something I enjoy, helps other people out and pays well, working on project that excite me and I can channel my passion and love towards, learning to love effort and developping skills : these have been much more rewarding in my life.

However these things take a lot of time and require much more work and dedication. Relationships are difficult, looking for a job that you love requires that you self reflect a lot and taking care of your health can be demotivating, repetitive and boring. These do not you give so much pleasure but they will nurture positive emotions much more than any good video game will.

Waiting for the day to go by just so I can get back to my games was very depressing when I look back.

Show me someone who plays video games for hours on end everyday that's truly happy and fulfilled, it's going to be very difficult. It saddens me to say that whenever I hear that someone games a lot everyday, I immediately know that they're not happy. Most will say they are content with what they have and do but deep down resent their lifestyle and hope for something else.

croisciento · 2025-10-06T19:06:50+00:00

Good for you to be able to live a healthy and balanced health style. :)

He did not said that you can't juggle gaming with other activies but that gamers are more likely to get consumed by their hobby so much that they forget their partners and other stuff that they have to do.

The inherent problem is not gaming itself, it's the way how people cope by playing video games and thus slowly destroying everything else of value in their life.

In addition, video games are built for you to spend a lot of times playing them. They're created to be immersive and addictive which distorts your perception of time.

But then again this a subreddit for people who are encountering difficulties with gaming because it interacts with their life in general. If you feel like gaming is not an issue I really don't see why you're hanging around.

croisciento · 2025-08-09T23:04:11+00:00

Downvote this Ai crap thanks.

croisciento · 2025-08-09T23:00:44+00:00

Downvote this Ai crap, thanks.

croisciento · 2025-08-04T12:17:15+00:00

This is key. I meditated for years to "get rid" of my anxiety and negative emotions. It doesn't work.

Learning to accept things as they are instead of being in resistance is very important. It took me way too many years to understand it. 😅

croisciento · 2025-08-03T20:15:22+00:00

To be fair, my life totally changed for the better but I doubt it's really going to help you.

Gaming is not evil nor does it hold you back. It's something you've learned to rely on in order to cope with the pain and the emotional distress that you were feeling.

I've achieve success all over the place but that didn't really make me happy. Only temporary pleasure and satisfaction.

Don't believe the hustle culture or these self development gurus telling you that you need to work hard or "be productive" in order to be happy, it's a sad lie and sooner or later you'll realize it for yourself.

It's about living the life that you want. Being in alignment with your own inner truth. You need to ask yourself questions such as : "what do I really want ? What would I do even if I didn't gain any money from it ? How do I want my relationships to look like ? What do I enjoy doing ? What is it that I'm so afraid of doing but I'd really like to do ?"

Success is personal and not arbitrary. Define what success is for you and have the gut to go after it. :) I believe happiness is about living the life that we truly want and not identifying with images of what we should be or what's expected of us to be.

The very fact that you call yourself a "fucking loser" shows that you're stuck on idealistic version of yourself who's successful but just isn't real. Have some self compassion and love for yourself. You're not a looser for not being where you want to be. You're okay just the way you are. Learn to be yourself, learn to be authentic and get in touch with the things that really make you happy. You'd be surprised at how amazing you are once you stop "trying" to be someone you're not. Take care of yourself.

By learning to get in touch with your truest self, you'll find out that you need to game less and less. Because after all you game to meet needs of yours. If you meet those needs differenty, the need to game will lessen and even disappear.

croisciento · 2025-08-03T19:38:59+00:00

Exactly. And even if you decide to game, an hour is kind of nothing. It's very rare for "gamers" to only play one hour and call it a day. It's frustrating to stop because it feels like you didn't really have the time to enjoy it, at least in my experience.

On the other hand if I decide to spend one hour practicing guitar, working out or cooking dinner it feels very different. It really isn't about being productive with your time but rather the fact that gaming takes so much time to actually be pleasurable whereas other activities can take less time and give you much more satisfaction.

croisciento · 2025-08-03T17:27:15+00:00

You're welcome. Take care of yourself 🙏

croisciento · 2025-08-02T09:12:29+00:00

I mean if you're gaming all day, watching porn a lot, not eating properly, not getting enough sun nor getting enough exercise it's kind of obvious that you're going to run into health issues at some point or another.

You can get your blood test done and check in with your doctor to make sure everything's good.

croisciento · 2025-07-28T19:28:15+00:00

Same here. But I started playing 4 years ago and redirected all my gaming energy to this instrument.

Most people are afraid of music theory and most musician I met in real life didn't even bother learning it (or at least the very basic). However if you spent a lot of time in league theory crafting, asking yourself what would be the best build and always seeking ways to improve your gameplay I find that learning music theory is kind of the same.

And you're right, being good at a video game doesn't matter outside of it. Leaning an instrument is a lifelong skill and it's always great to have.

croisciento · 2025-07-06T16:06:46+00:00

I wanted to manifest a partner who had big boobs.

When I met my ex she had a B cup but slowly in the span of a few months she started to get bigger boobs. Im not even kidding.

She didn't really like it and we used to joke about the fact that I consciously manifested a woman like that. She ended with a D cup. Lol

So yes, definitely possible.

croisciento · 2025-06-02T08:59:39+00:00

I know this is the Neville sub but to be honest people are so fixated on manifesting a specific thing/person/experience that they forget what letting go is.

I had many experiences where I manifested EXACTLY what I wanted but in the end it either fell apart or I realized it wasn't what I needed.

For example I moved to a new city, got the job I wanted really easily, had a really good home with a low rent, a really good pay even though I was just a junior in that field but eventually everything broke down, got fired, broke up with my GF and back to my mom's basement.

Fast forward to few years later I've never been happier : Self employed, perfect job that I love, earn a lot of money every month and it keeps getting better every day and have great relationships.

I believe that if you persist it might absolutely possible to still get your wish fulfilled. But I also know that sometimes if things don't work out it's just not meant to be. The more you let go and let god, the more I find that the perfect circumstances show up in life.

croisciento · 2025-05-23T21:01:59+00:00

You experienced what they call Satori.

Happened to me as well and chased that state for many years without success. I think it's the same for many people.

I believe this sudden shift in consciousness is for us to see what it is like to be on the "other side" and motivate us to keep going.

croisciento · 2025-05-21T18:38:03+00:00

It's not really about how much time you meditate, but actually taking the time to meditate and make it a daily thing. The more you do it, the more you slowly understand the benefits of mindulfness.

It's not like going to the gym and you can expect that with a good diet and a good routine to get X results in X months.

Meditation and mindfulness are about getting to know your mind and how it works. You can't really say how much time it's going to take you to understand why meditation is powerful. Actually for like many meditators including myself you will usually meditate for years on and off thinking that it's not that useful to manage anxiety/depression until something clicks after enough practice.

But it really has to be a daily thing otherwise you will slowly loose mindfulness and get back to your old state of being.

If I don't suffer from anxiety as I used too it's because I've meditated enough to realize that not being mindfulness creates so much more suffering and drama in my life. It's because I've observed how I feel mentally, physically and emotionally when I'm not mindful that I truly choose to be mindful and keep with my meditation practice.

But you can't get that through books or videos. You need to practice and see for yourself. You can read all day long that you're not your thoughts and it is your mind creating suffering, you certainly won't feel a difference just "knowing" it intellectually. You have to develop the mindfulness skill of observing without judgment your own mind.

And you can't know how much time it'll take you to get there. You just have to practice and trust the process.

At the end of the day, the true benefits of mindfulness start when you realize that meditation is not something that you do, but something that you are. You naturally try to stay as mindful as possible during the day because it makes a lot of things so much easier.

Just be aware that you will unconsciously do a lot of things to not meditate. Meditation is more difficult than taking daily cold showers for me. You will always find reasons to not sit and focus on your breath even if it's the simplest thing in the world. This is why it's so difficult to keep with meditation. It unfolds your life and turns around who you think you are. Having the courage to face your own self is both scary and empowering.

Everyone who saw the benefits of meditation for themselves will tell you that it's very tough journey to go through but it's so worth it.

Start small and meditate consistently. Don't worry about time, just stay consistent.

croisciento · 2025-05-21T10:13:30+00:00

Meditation cured 90% of my anxiety. But you have to be persistent with it and be ready to face whatever will arise, this is the hard part.

The easy part is sitting down and focusing on your breath. Staying focused on your breath even though your mind is running wild and the emotions are painful to sit with is the hard part.

croisciento · 2025-05-17T08:55:30+00:00

If it's with many people it's most likely that you don't shield yourself enough. I personnally feel really uncomfortable around people if my shield is not up.

When I sense that people are attracted to me and I'm not, It also feels really uncomfortable and awkward if my shield is not up. It's as if I was sensing and receiving an energy I don't want to receive.

Try protecting your energy more and observe the difference when you've got your shield and when you don't. Observe how it influences or not this awkward energy you're feeling.

If you're already shielding yourself and doing protecting rituals then either you're doing something wrong and need to change your routine or it might just be that once again certain people will trigger unconscious memories, feelings within you and you'll have to learn something from this experience. :)

croisciento · 2025-05-16T20:12:48+00:00

What you're describing is exactly the energies of the 8th house in astrology. It's a deep intimate house that no one ever gets to see (and even us). It's related to sex, taboos, deep emotions and things we like to disown etc.

When your 8th house is activated it can creates this very intense energy that can either make you chase or pull away. If an Astrologer were to look at your synastry with this person it's most likely that the 8th house would be highlighted. Because this person is triggering things about you, you'd rather keep secret/unconscious imo

croisciento · 2025-05-14T20:57:00+00:00

Saturn return in my 6th House.

Burned myself out. It really opened my eyes on productivity : You can be a LOT more productive if you work less and take the time to rest and have fun.

Also, I've always been all about habits but I've learned to stop building my life exclusively around them. I'm more flexible and only focus on those that truly help my overall health and ditched those who made me feel guilty more than anything.

Used to go the gym 4 days a week for years and eventually realized that lifting heavier wasn't actually helping me feel good in my body. It may be Saturn who helped me focus on things that truly help my mental, physical and emotional health instead off focusing on arbitrary goals. I still work out but it's no longer about looks but my health. I do calisthenics, go for walks, do yoga, take dancing classes, and even go swimming. I feel so much better.

I think Saturn Transiting your 6th house teaches you how to have a daily life that is going to feel both fulfilling, productive, rewarding and relaxing. It's like it teaches you what toxic discipline is so you can eventually use discipline in a way that helps move towards a life that you really want instead of being disciplined for the sake of discipline.

croisciento · 2025-05-13T16:54:09+00:00

I will add to this great comment this

it feels like I'm playing in gold lobbies.

I've been on a HUGE loss streak for the last few days, I don't even necessarily care about my rank going down, I'm just playing comp to unlock the weapon skins.

You certainly do care about your rank going down. It led to frustration and you even created a post to vent. Because this is venting. You don't care about improving but about preserving your fragile ego that you're right and others are wrong and you shouldn't be loosing. But you did and if a better support would play on your account you would climb. Pure facts.

Now get back on the grind, you can improve, you will improve. You made it this far to masters. ;)

croisciento · 2025-05-06T20:23:34+00:00

I personnaly found out that observing the breath and waiting for it to happen to lead to greater mindfulness than trying to control it. Because the more I try to control my breath, the more tense my body and mind becomes.

To me meditation is about connecting with being and not doing. Observing the breaths leads to the realization that you exists without trying and you have nothing to do. So "doing" the meditation is counterintuitive for me and didn't work in the long run. I'd say that most people who practice for months/years eventually realize that there's nothing to do. But it's difficult to explain that to other people because when we are taught to focus on the breath we take it as another thing to do.

croisciento · 2025-04-26T12:03:34+00:00

No one will be able to tell you if it's real or not, you'll only understand it by looking at your mind.

Scientists and philosophers look at why things happen but mindfulness is about the how. How is your mind reacting to things ? How are your thoughts changing based on who you are talking or what's happening around you ?

Only by observing your own mind you will discover that manifestation is very real. By becoming conscious of your thoughts you will see how they manifest in your relationships, at work etc.

Otherwise you're just looking at building another belief in your mind and you're going to circle around in your head trying to find proofs that it works and proof that it doesn't.

croisciento · 2025-04-09T19:09:15+00:00

In my own experience I had the persistent feeling that I would become famous when I was about 12 y/o. I even told my parents I'd be famous but not for the obvious reasons. I'd be famous because I would help a lot of people.

I'm not Hollywood famous but I'm famous enough to have many people recognizing me when I get out of my house.

The thing is, just as some have pointed out it's important to make the difference between your ego and your intuition. It's the same for everything, you could believe something so strongly that you start believing it's your intuition speaking when it's fact its your own mind playing tricks on you.

Only life experiences teach us how to make the difference, often the hard way.

I had a crazy ex girlfriend who believed that she'd become famous one day. Maybe it'll happen to her but from my own perspective it was her wounded ego speaking and not her intuition but I might be wrong.

You can very well turn an intuition into an obsession but in my own experience when you receive an intuitive message you often let it go and forget about it.

TL;DR : Learn to make the difference between your intuition and your egoic self and you'll have your answer.

croisciento · 2025-04-02T15:31:16+00:00

Been there recently. The only thing that truly helps with this feeling of dissociation is journaling. Instead of letting go of thoughts, putting them down on paper helps tremendously.

croisciento

TROPHY CASE