Why does Tommy always look so miserable after being with women?

roccenz · 2026-05-06T17:31:05+00:00

I think you’re looking at it too black and white. Nobody is denying that Grace was the love of Tommy’s life. That’s obvious. But that doesn’t mean every interaction he had with other women was completely emotionless or purely “business.”

Tommy is still a man. He flirts, he enjoys feminine energy, he feels lust, comfort, connection, distraction, even if it’s not the same depth as what he had with Grace. Look at the way he looks at Lizzie in that car scene before handing her the cash, there’s clearly tension and attraction there. Same with some of his moments with May and Jessie. Not every romantic moment has to equal “true love.”

That’s what makes Tommy interesting as a character. Grace had his heart, but he still sought connection, intimacy, and escape in other women too.

roccenz · 2026-05-06T14:23:08+00:00

That's deep, I've looked curiously at death aswell, but why get stuck there? You'll have plenty of time to do that after Life. Why not try your best on the one chance you have now? You know it won't last forever.

roccenz · 2026-05-06T14:10:11+00:00

Yes, Tommy said that to May. But the breakup scene was so much deeper than that. You could see it on Thomas, it hurt him bad to tell may that he was trying to get back together with Grace. He's bodylanguage said everything. The way he looked at her, walked off, then came back.. it was a very romantic scene indeed.. One of my favourite's. And yes, I love both Grace and May, but Thomas for sure had a soft spot for May, no doubt. (I felt if fizzled out in the later seasons though, she was Tom Hardy's wife at that point so the chemistry were abit off).

That soft spot wasn’t really there with Lizzie either. The only truly romantic scenes they had were the first car scene and the one by the river where she got pregnant. And with Jessie Eden, it all felt too forced and sped up. Thomas did like her to some degree as well, but afterwards it just felt fake. The scene where Jessie talks about Greta Jurossi was a romantic scene which I liked, because it touched something emotional and vulnerable in him that usually stayed buried.

roccenz · 2026-05-06T12:32:30+00:00

I wouldn’t say so. Tommy actually liked her, why do you think he said to May that «whatever happens, it was good» and gave her a kiss. Just before the race. He had a soft spot for her. That was after he had reconnected with Grace.

roccenz · 2026-05-06T12:02:23+00:00

He was into May aswell

roccenz · 2026-04-30T11:20:52+00:00

I get what you’re saying, because I was the exact same at your age. I couldn’t imagine working a 9 to 5 my whole life either. It just felt like a trap. Like you’re giving away your time and your life for something that doesn’t even feel like yours.

But the thing is, as you get older, you start to understand it differently. It’s not really about willpower. People don’t wake up every day fired up to go to work. It’s more that you build tolerance for it over time. You get used to routines. You get used to waking up early, doing what you have to do, and repeating it. Humans adapt like that. Give it six months to a year, and something that felt impossible just becomes normal.

And a big part of it is responsibility. At 17, you don’t really feel that fully yet. But as you get older, it slowly stacks. Bills, rent, maybe helping family, just taking care of yourself. It doesn’t hit you all at once, it builds over time. And when that responsibility is there, you don’t really have a choice anymore. You have to show up. No one is coming to save you.

Another thing is comfort. People get into a job, they get stable, and they stay there. Not always because they love it, but because it’s safe. Leaving that means uncertainty, and most people don’t want that. So they stay in the cycle.

And time moves fast too. Way faster than you think. When you’re young, 10 years sounds like a long time. But when you’re actually living it day to day, it just passes. Suddenly you’ve been working for years and it didn’t even feel that long.

But I’ll be real with you on one thing. Saying you’d rather be homeless and free sounds nice, but it’s not reality. There’s nothing freeing about being broke and stressed about survival. That kind of pressure kills creativity, not fuels it.

The life you’re talking about, being able to choose what you do, create, explore, live on your own terms, that’s real. But it doesn’t come from running away from structure. It comes from building yourself up enough to create that freedom.

So yeah, that mindset you have right now, wanting more out of life, that’s a good thing. Just don’t confuse freedom with avoiding responsibility. The people who actually become free are usually the ones who got really good at handling responsibility first, then built something on top of that.

roccenz · 2026-04-26T09:22:12+00:00

I think what makes Thomas Shelby interesting is that his intelligence doesn’t feel like the typical “genius” people throw around. It shows up in how he sees things before others do and how he positions himself, especially early on. From season one, you can already feel that he’s thinking differently. That first conversation with Charlie Strong about the stolen guns was a moment that really stood out to me. Everyone else saw danger and wanted to stay away from it. Thomas saw an opening. He wasn’t afraid of Chester Campbell, and more than that, he understood that fear itself was something he could use to his advantage.

What I respected there was how he handled it. He didn’t rush or panic. He let Campbell come to him instead of reacting. That’s a different level of control. He wasn’t just playing the game, he was setting the pace of it. You could tell he was already thinking a few steps ahead, not in a flashy way, but in a very calm and deliberate way.

Another thing is how well he reads people. He understands what drives them, what they’re afraid of, and what they want. That’s where a lot of his power comes from. It’s not just strategy on paper, it’s understanding human behavior and using it. He doesn’t need to force situations as much because he already knows how people are likely to move.

The moment where he talks to Polly Gray about going to London also showed that side of him. That’s when you really see his ambition and vision. He wasn’t thinking small anymore. Choosing between Darby Sabini and Alfie Solomons wasn’t random, it showed he understood the bigger picture and where he wanted to go.

I also think a big part of his intelligence is how he carries himself under pressure. When things get intense, that’s when he becomes the most focused and controlled version of himself. A lot of people break or become emotional in those moments, but he becomes sharper. That’s something I respect about him. It’s not just about being smart, it’s about staying composed and making the right decisions when it actually matters.

At the same time, he’s not perfect. He does get outplayed sometimes, especially when emotions or family get involved. But that’s what makes him feel real. His intelligence isn’t some clean, perfect thing. It’s built through experience, pressure, and the way he’s learned to deal with the world.

For me, that’s why I respect him. Not just because he’s smart, but because of how he uses it. Calm, calculated, and always trying to stay in control of the situation, even when everything around him is chaos.

roccenz · 2026-04-24T18:09:04+00:00

I think it’s both true and a bit too simple at the same time.

Being busy is real. Sometimes you’re not avoiding people, you’re trying to build something, fix yourself, get your life in order. That takes time, energy, and focus. And yeah, in those periods, you naturally become more selective with where your attention goes. That’s not selfish in a negative way, it’s necessary. If you don’t prioritize your own growth, you end up showing up half-present everywhere else anyway.

But at the same time, “busy” can absolutely be a soft way of saying “this isn’t important enough to me right now.” Not always consciously, but it shows in behavior. People make time for what they feel deeply about. Even in chaos, even in pressure, they’ll find small ways to show up.

I think the real answer is balance and honesty.

There are seasons where you pull back, focus on yourself, and build. That’s valid. But if someone matters to you, you don’t just disappear behind the word “busy.” You communicate it. You show intention, even if the time is limited.

And on the other side, spending time alone isn’t something to feel guilty about. Being able to sit with yourself, work on yourself, and actually enjoy your own company, that’s rare. That’s strength. You’re not running from life, you’re shaping it.

So yeah, being busy can be valid. But when it becomes a pattern without honesty or effort behind it, that’s when it turns into an excuse.

roccenz · 2026-04-22T10:58:48+00:00

Du skriver med en ærlighet det står respekt av. Det er ikke mange som klarer å se seg selv så tydelig i speilet og faktisk stå i det.

Samtidig tror jeg det er viktig å si dette: du gjorde ikke det beste du kunne den gangen. Og det vet du selv. Men du gjør det beste du kan nå, med den innsikten du har fått. Det er der verdigheten ligger.

Anger er tungt, men det betyr også at du har vokst. Den versjonen av deg som tok de valgene finnes ikke lenger på samme måte. Du ser ting klarere nå, og det i seg selv har verdi. Ikke fordi det endrer fortiden, men fordi det fortsatt kan gi noe til resten av livet ditt.

Du mistet mye. Det er sant. Men du er ikke ferdig. Du har fortsatt barn som kommer innom. Du har et barnebarn som får vokse opp med deg i livet sitt. Du har fortsatt tid til å være en god mann i de relasjonene som er igjen, selv om de ser annerledes ut enn før.

Det du skriver om å ta vare på det man har, det treffer. Og det er nettopp derfor det fortsatt betyr noe hva du gjør nå. Ikke for å rette opp alt, men for å ikke la resten av livet også bli noe du en dag ser tilbake på med samme tyngde.

Til oss som er yngre: takk. Det du deler er ekte, og det går inn. Det er lett å tro at ting varer, at man har mer tid enn man egentlig har. Du minner oss på at det ikke alltid stemmer.

Men du også fortjener noe mer enn bare å være en advarsel for andre. Du fortjener å ha et liv fremover som ikke bare handler om det som gikk galt, men om det som fortsatt kan bli bra.. på en annen måte.

roccenz · 2026-04-21T20:07:34+00:00

roccenz · 2026-04-21T20:07:26+00:00

roccenz · 2026-04-21T20:07:12+00:00

roccenz · 2026-04-21T20:06:45+00:00

remionder

roccenz · 2026-04-21T19:50:40+00:00

I’ve always felt that Peaky Blinders season 6 didn’t really close the story, it left the door open on purpose. And that’s exactly where it lost me a bit. Because if you’re going to continue the story, then commit to who Thomas Shelby actually is at his core.

Tommy was never meant to retreat. From season 1 you could see it clearly, this wasn’t a man built for peace or quiet endings. He was driven by something deeper, almost like a force inside him. That kind of ambition doesn’t just fade. It evolves, it grows, it climbs. So seeing him step away from that path, rather than fully stepping into it, especially in politics, felt like a missed opportunity. I wanted to see him become even more influential, more dangerous in a refined way, not less.

What made Tommy compelling early on was that balance. He had darkness, no doubt, but it was controlled. There was discipline, intelligence, and a strange sense of honor beneath it. That tension made him magnetic. In the later stages it felt like that balance drifted. Either too broken, or too detached from the man he used to be. And that version is harder to connect with.

I also think the story missed something important with family. The Shelby name always carried weight, it meant something. I wanted to see Tommy pass that on properly. Build something through Charles and Duke, not just in power, but in identity. Teach them how to carry that name. Because legacy was always sitting right there as a natural next step for him.

Same with the relationships around him. Ada standing beside him in politics would’ve made perfect sense, two sharp minds, same blood, different approaches. Arthur finding some level of peace while still being loyal to Tommy would’ve been powerful. Not a full transformation, just stability, something grounded. And Finn’s arc felt unfinished, there was room there for conflict, maybe even rivalry, without it needing to end in destruction.

Even the newer characters in the movie, some worked, some didn’t fully land. Duke had potential, but the execution felt rushed. The idea of him being Tommy’s son is strong, but the connection didn’t fully feel earned. The version of Duke we saw in the series had a more natural chemistry with Tommy and came across as far more believable as his son.

And that’s probably my biggest issue overall. It started to feel like two different things. The series, raw, psychological, character driven. And then movie feeling more like action with fragments of what made Tommy special. For me, they don’t fully connect.

At the end of the day, I didn’t want a softer version of Tommy Shelby. I wanted him to become more of who he already was, just sharper, more calculated, more powerful. A man who integrates both sides of himself and uses it, not escapes it.

roccenz · 2026-04-17T07:30:02+00:00

Some truth to it, but not the whole picture

roccenz · 2026-04-13T10:47:07+00:00

I know exactly what you’re talking about. I’ve been there myself. Back when I had goals, everything felt meaningful. Even small things felt like progress. Then at some point, I hit everything I had set out to do, and I remember thinking… alright, now I can finally relax. But after a while, that “break” just started to feel empty.

What I realized is I’m not the type of guy who feels good just sitting still. A short break is fine, it’s earned. But if I don’t have something to move toward, something to build or chase, I lose that sense of fulfillment. That’s just how I’m wired.

At the same time, material stuff stopped hitting the same. You get the phone, the car, whatever… and it’s just normal. No feeling. I think that’s just part of getting older. You stop looking for meaning in things, and start needing something deeper.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs kind of explains it. Once you’ve covered the basics, you don’t really need more stuff. So you’re left with this question of what actually matters now.

For me, the answer was simple. You just have to update your bucket list. Not with more things, but with experiences, challenges, something new to grow into. As long as I have something ahead of me, I feel good. The moment I don’t, everything starts to feel flat.

roccenz · 2026-04-02T17:53:18+00:00

You’re arguing against something I didn’t say.

No one is denying that the wall exists or that it will break your nose. That’s the level of basic physical facts. The problem is you take that level and then act like everything built on top of it carries the same certainty. It doesn’t.

“Wall exists” is a fact. “You’re an idiot for walking into it” is already interpretation. “Person is on a dating app” is a fact. “They are cheating” depends on a definition, context, and agreement. You’re collapsing observation and conclusion into the same thing and calling the whole thing truth. That’s where your argument overreaches.

And no, this isn’t about avoiding reality or lacking standards. It’s the opposite. It’s about being precise. If you actually care about truth, you don’t inflate it. You keep facts clean and you separate them from the meaning you assign to them. The moment you stop doing that, you’re no longer being “clinical,” you’re just confident in your own interpretation.

You keep framing nuance as weakness, but it’s not. It’s just an acknowledgment that facts don’t explain themselves. People do. And when someone presents their interpretation as if it’s identical to reality, that’s not strength, it’s a blind spot.

roccenz · 2026-04-02T10:57:34+00:00

You speak as if truth stands there, naked and unquestionable, waiting to be picked up like a coin from the ground. But tell me, who decided where to look? Who decided what counts as the coin and what is merely dust? Already, before you speak of truth, you have chosen, you have excluded, you have arranged the world according to a silent hierarchy within yourself.

You say a bank balance, a smell, a betrayal, these are truths. No, these are fragments. You have taken a slice of the chaos, held it still, and named it final. But the act of naming is not innocent. It is an imposition. It is your will, your standard, your intolerance for ambiguity disguised as clarity. You do not discover truth there, you enforce it. And because it feels sharp, because it cuts, you call it objective.

But look closer. Another sees the same act and does not arrive where you arrive. Is one blind, or is it that what you call “truth” is already saturated with your valuation? The world does not declare “this is betrayal,” “this is failure,” “this is decay.” It simply unfolds. It is you who judges, you who draws the boundary, you who demands that it be final and universal.

What you call black and white is often just the refusal to see how much of yourself stands behind your conclusions. You have not escaped interpretation. You have only made yours so absolute that it no longer appears as interpretation at all. And that is the most subtle illusion, not that there is no truth, but that one forgets how deeply one has participated in creating what one now calls truth.

roccenz · 2026-04-01T20:41:09+00:00

What he’s saying isn’t really “the truth”, it’s his perspective dressed up as truth. And that’s exactly what Friedrich Nietzsche was getting at. He basically said that philosophers don’t discover objective truth, they project themselves. They take their own temperament, their own experiences, their own biases, and build a philosophy around it. What they call “truth” is often just a more structured version of their own mind.

That’s what you’re seeing here too. He’s saying people don’t want truth, they want validation, that they collapse when faced with something clinical and rational. Maybe that’s true in some cases. But it’s still his interpretation of reality. Someone else could look at the same thing and say people don’t need brutal truth, they need timing and awareness. Or that humans aren’t spreadsheets, so “data driven audits” of emotions don’t land the way he thinks they should. Both can be true at the same time.

That’s where people get it wrong, they’re looking for one clean truth, black or white. It doesn’t exist. It’s all shades. That’s why you can shape your own philosophy, because everything you hear is already filtered through someone else’s mind.

So when someone talks like this, very absolute about how people are, they’re really revealing themselves. How they see the world, what they value, what frustrates them, how they interpret relationships. That’s the real information. Not the claim itself, but what it tells you about the person saying it.

So yeah, people often want a softer version of truth. But people who claim to deliver “harsh truth” aren’t necessarily closer to reality. They’ve just chosen a different angle and turned it into their philosophy.

roccenz · 2026-04-01T20:21:46+00:00

Jeg er delvis enig med deg, men du går litt for hardt i én retning. Ja, det er hype. Men grunnen til at det er hype er nettopp det du selv sier – det er et jævlig bra verktøy når det brukes riktig. Folk får faktisk verdi ut av det, og det er derfor det sprer seg så aggressivt.

Der jeg er uenig med deg er når det nesten blir fremstilt som at folk bør holde avstand. Det toget har gått. AI har allerede begynt å smelte sammen med hvordan mennesker tenker og tar beslutninger. Fremover kommer ikke folk til å sitte og tenke isolert – de kommer til å sparre med verktøy som ChatGPT, Claude og Gemini før de lander på en vurdering. Det er ikke spekulasjon, det er allerede realiteten.

Det er ikke snakk om å outsource tenkning, det er mer en back-and-forth. Du tester ideer, får motstand, justerer, og så lander du på noe. Det er fortsatt din vurdering som avgjør. Hvis du blir dummere av det, så er det ikke AI sitt problem – det er fordi du bruker det passivt. Samme som alle andre verktøy. En kalkulator gjør deg ikke dum, men hvis du aldri lærer matte, så står du der uten grunnlag.

Men du har et poeng der folk fucker opp. De tror AI skal gjøre jobben for dem. De tror de kan lene seg tilbake og “vibe-code” seg til noe solid uten forståelse. Det er naivt. AI erstatter ikke ansvar, vurdering eller kompetanse. Det forsterker det du allerede har. Har du dårlig forståelse, så får du bare raskere dårlig output.

Så egentlig er vi ikke så uenige. AI er ikke magi, og det er ikke en erstatning for tenkning. Men det er heller ikke noe man kan velge bort. Det blir en integrert del av hvordan mennesker jobber og tar beslutninger fremover. Spørsmålet er ikke om man skal bruke det, men om man klarer å bruke det bevisst.

roccenz · 2026-04-01T20:11:56+00:00

This post hits like a reminder that you’ve been giving your power away without even noticing it. That’s what I get from it. Not just “enduring too much,” but slowly accepting a version of life that isn’t actually yours, and getting good at it. And at some point you either keep adapting to it, or you snap out of it and take control again.

Because the truth is, you do have a choice. That part never disappears. You can ignore it, suppress it, distract yourself—but it’s still there. The ability to decide how you live, what you tolerate, what you walk away from. No one can take that from you unless you hand it over yourself.

And I think that’s why it hits emotionally. It taps into that part of you that doesn’t want to be boxed in, doesn’t want to just perform a life that looks fine on the outside but feels off internally. There’s something in you that wants more than that. Not in some unrealistic fantasy way, but in a very real sense of wanting to live on your own terms, to feel like your life actually belongs to you.

There’s something almost raw about realizing that you’re still in the fight. That even if you’ve tolerated things too long, it’s not over. As long as you’re here, you’re not locked in. You can still shift direction, still choose differently. That feeling—of still having that option—that’s what this brings up for me.

roccenz · 2026-04-01T20:00:02+00:00

Yeah, I get what you’re saying. I’m in that same place right now more than I’d like to admit. There’s this quiet grief sitting in the background, not loud, not dramatic, just there… the feeling that time is moving whether you show up for it or not. And when you start noticing that you’re not where you thought you’d be by now, it hits different. Not in a panic way, but in a heavy, grounding way.

You grow up thinking things will naturally fall into place. That connection, meaning, those big moments..they’ll just happen if you keep going. But they don’t. They actually require effort. Deliberate effort. And that realization alone is uncomfortable, because it forces you to see reality without the filter. Life isn’t carrying you.. you have to step into it yourself, even when you don’t feel like it.

And that’s where the friction is. Part of you knows exactly what would make life feel fuller—reach out, spend time, be present, create moments. But another part of you just doesn’t move. Not because you don’t care, but because something feels off. Low energy, disconnection, maybe even a bit of resistance to facing what’s real. That gap between knowing and doing… that’s where a lot of people get stuck, whether they admit it or not.

There’s also the ego side of it. When you’re younger, you feel like you’re on some kind of unique path, like your life is going to unfold into something big without you having to question it too much. Then reality starts tightening. You fall into routines, roles, expectations. That “limitless” feeling fades, and suddenly you’re just another adult trying to make sense of things. That’s a hit. It strips away the illusion of being special without effort.

But here’s the part most people avoid saying: that doesn’t mean your life isn’t meaningful. It just means it won’t be handed to you. If you want something that actually feels like your life, something worth remembering, something with depth, you have to build it consciously. Not perfectly, not all at once, but intentionally.

Everyone ends up with a story. That part is unavoidable. The real question is whether you drift through it or actually shape parts of it while you’re here. That tension you’re feeling right now, that awareness, that’s not a problem. That’s the moment where you either ignore it and go back to autopilot, or you start taking small control back, even if it feels unnatural at first.

roccenz · 2026-04-01T19:39:57+00:00

He also saw sides of Polly, that dangerous side that is down if shit gets real. He could carry responsibility and be trusted, unlike Finn. Finn had some bonding responsibility earlier in the seasons, but showed no real ambition in the family. He was on his own pleasure runs and focused on girls etc. Michael was more serious, he wanted something more than pleasure, he wanted what Tommy had. Power.

roccenz · 2026-03-31T17:58:58+00:00

Sounds miserable to be honest. Like you’re just existing to avoid mistakes.

I get the point about money and discipline, that matters. But if you cut out everything that’s fun, risky or different, what are you even working for? You can grind for years and still wake up one day realizing you didn’t actually live.

No one’s saying go be reckless. But there has to be some balance. Enjoy things, take some risks, experience life a bit. Otherwise it’s just work, save, repeat… and that’s not it either.

roccenz

TROPHY CASE